Final Rites

The two of them came and sat on either side of the still form in between them.

“I can’t believe she’s dying.”“Dad, you have to be strong. Mom would have wanted you to be so.”

“I know, but this is Mom, Rahul. She’s my childhood sweetheart, my first and only love. I’ve never loved another before or after her.”

“Dad...”“I still remember it like as if it were yesterday. She was my classmate, you know. She had the most awful plaits back then. Plus with her glasses, she was like..”

“Mom used to wear glasses ?”“Ya, those big semi-oval ones which were the rage in the early 90s. With her thin frame, it made her look like E.T. ”“So what made you fall for her then ? Let me guess, her personality. Even then, you saw beyond her looks and knew she was special.”

“The hell I did !!! I was after her best friend, Shilpa. Now, that was a babe, Shilpa. Even back then, she was the hottie of our class. Man, if your mom hadn’t been friends with Shilps, I wouldn’t have even spoken to her through high school.”

“Woah !!Wait a minute. So Mom wasn’t technically your childhood sweetheart ? ““Well, she did have her qualities back then. She used to bring good chocolates.. Gulfy chocs. ““So how did you two fall in love ?”

“Well, the thing with Shilpa never really took off. But in all the efforts, I made a good pal in your Mom. Then as luck would it, we got stuck together in the same college. “

“And love blossomed ?”

“Well, not actually. I was actually after Divya.. you know Divya aunty, right ?“No way !! You and Divya aunty ? What happened ?”

“Well, I outgrew her... and Naina too, now that I think about it. Hmmm, I doubt your mother knew I had a thing about Naina. ““Uh , dad...”“Anyway, through all of it, there was one constant that kept me rooted to who I was. I knew that whenever I wanted I could talk to her about my deepest feelings and she’d understand me. She never judged me, she always had time for me. There was such an unbridled admiration for me in her eyes. It was like destiny. We were meant to be together.”

“And thus you finally realised that the woman for you was Mom, right ? Sweet perfect mom.”

“Mom ? I was talking about Pintu, my Labrador. Damn, she was a sweet dog. Your mom !! I married her for the money. We had dowry back then, remember. In fact, now that she’s gone it wouldn’t be a bad idea to find out where Naina is...”

“I’m gonna kill you. You know that, right ?” a heavy husky voice spoke from under the towel.

“Umm.. dad ? I don’t think she’s dead yet.”

“You mean she’s not got her head dipped in a metal tumbler filled with sulphuric acid under that towel ?”“No, dad. I think she’s just inhaling the steamed Vicks in there. In fact, from the sound of her voice, I think her cold’s getting better.”"Yes, and I'm gonna kill your father as soon as I finish this steam inhalation."

“Hmmm. Son, did I ever tell you how beautiful your mom is. How her eyes shine brightly like sparkling jewels or how her skin is like silk in the rain..“

“Didn’t you write those words in your letters to Divya in college ?”

“Not to mention a memory like a pitbull’s teeth.. doesn’t let go once it’s got you.”

“I’m almost done with this steam inhalation. And when I do come out of this towel, Rahul, your dad may become the victim of a flying utensil so if you have anything to say to him...”

“Awww.. your mom’s such a kidder. She loves me.”“Loved you.. not loves, loved. Past tense. And what’s this about Naina..”“ You mean, Naina didi... ““Acha... now that “I’m alive”, she’s your sister all of a sudden.”“Well, actually, I meant your Naina didi.. as in your sister.. did I forget to mention I married her in a secret temple ceremony back in college ? Technically you’re the illegal wife.“

“Aniiiiiiiillll” Renuka screamed in frustration as she threw the towel at him. Rahul had already taken evasive action hiding behind his dad. Renuka looked at her husband and burst out laughing. He was dressed in a long white bedsheet and was wearing a fake grey beard.

“What the hell is this ?”“Au contraire, Mrs Renuka Anil. This isn’t hell. This is heaven. Seeing how you were behaving since last night, we figured that you’d be dead by morning.. and since you’d anyway be going to hell, we thought you deserved to atleast have a glimpse of what heaven looks like, you know. If you’ll wait a minute longer, Rahul will get the fake snow and spray it around.”

“I have a cold. I’m not dying.”“Damn. Rahul, save the spray. We’ll use it another time.”“Sure, dad.”

“Rahul. Would you leave your dad and me alone for awhile ? We have some talking to do.”“Sure thing, Mom. And dad, no freebies like last time. If mom kicks you out of the room, it’s 50 bucks to share my room.”

“50 bucks !! That’s robbery. “

“Business, dad. Business.” Rahul said as he walked out.

“Your son gets more devious day by day, Renuka. I swear it must come from your side of the family. Damn Marwadi genes.” He turned around. She was staring at him with that ‘pissed off’ look that he was so familiar with.

“Remind me... Why did I marry you again ?” she asked in exasperation.

He came up to her side, grasped her slim fingers in his palms and kissed them. Then, robe, beard et al, he bend down on one knee and looked up at her.

“I’ve known you 3 decades, loved you two. God willing I will love you for many more till the day we have to part. But till that day comes, I want you to know, that I’m grateful for every moment you’re beside me loving me and being a part of my life. Today, Valentine’s day, isn’t a celebration of our love as everyone says.. it’s just an opportunity to remind myself that I’ve been blessed and that I should be thankful. And believe me, I am. I wouldn’t give up this life with you for anything.”

She stared down at him. Smiled.

“Idiot. You always had a way of escaping punishment, you know. Even in school when you used to throw chalks at sir and I’d get caught...”

“Ummm, Renu.. this bedsheet is heavy. If you could just get to the point...”

She shook her head. Helped him up to his feet again. Then put her hands around his neck and before he could spoil the moment, kissed him hard on the lips. They both smiled at each other as she withdrew. She waited for it.

“Ewww... I got girl cooties on my lips now.”

“Shut up, idiot. Go pay your son and sleep in his sofa tonight. You ain’t getting any in here.”

“Awww, mom. Do I have to ?”

“Out !!! I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Renu...” he called as she turned towards the bathroom.

“WHAT NOW ?”

“Happy Valentine’s day, dear.”

She smiled.“Happy Valentine’s.”

HAPPY VALENTINE’S , EVERYONE. Here’s hoping this week brings great romantic memories in all your lives.

Thode Badmash - Parthiv Gohil