GODYEARS...

Agneepath review : A sure winner. **** 1/2

2012-01-26T15:21:00.000+05:30

A remake of a cult Hindi film which was a flop in it's time. A first time director. 3 actors who oscillate between brilliant acting and silly overacting. A movie about Bollywood-style violence.

I was skeptical. I'm not anymore.

I know I tend to be lavish while giving praise but let me say this honestly : Agneepath ( 2012 ) is brilliant for so many reasons.

It is one of the best, if not the best remake I've ever seen.

Rather than go for a scene by scene remake, the creative unit ( director and writer ) have taken the basic theme of a child avenging his father's death at the hands of a drug peddling mob boss and redone the story entirely from there. The first half deals more with Hrithik's scheming rise to the top in Mumbai while the second half takes the battle from Mumbai back to where it all began - the small village/island (?) of Maandva.

Iconic characters like Mithun Chakrabarthy's Krishnan Iyer ( who added humour to the movie ) are done away with and new villians ( Rishi Kapoor ) are added.

Iconic moments : There were many scenes that had the whole audience screaming in delight and sometimes awe/horror. A few of them which come to mind are :

a) The poem that the school master teaches his hot tempered son and how it becomes relevant later on in the movie. ( Trivia : the original poem was written by Amitabh Bachchan's father and was the inspiration for the film's title. )

b) The death of the school teacher is brutal. The camera doesn't turn away from the chaos or horror of the scene.

c) A scene where Hrithik 'questions' a police officer while driving.

d) A scene where someone Hrithik cares for is literally being auctioned and the police are barricaded and how it is resolved.

e) The scene immediately following the 'Chikni Chameli' song. It's not at all what you expect.

f) The moment in the film where you first hear those legendary words "Vijay Chauhan. Poora naam : Vijay Deenanath Chauhan. Baap ka naam : Master Deenanath Chauhan. Gaav : Maandva." It's an amazing sequence with an almost rabid background score.

g) Hrithik having dinner at his mother's house.

h) The final battle.

The very fact that Chikni Chameli, though being great, doesn't come in my Top 8 moments of the movie should tell you how much I enjoyed this movie.

Rishi Kapoor reinvents himself after 4 decades in Bollywood into a role noone expected and one he did amazingly well - an absolute lowlife indulging in child prostitution and drug smuggling.

Sanjay Dutt's opening scene felt a little hammy to me but over time, you realise just how menacing and creepy the character is. By sheer size alone, he towers over Hrithik and is a great villian - both physically and cerebrally - to compete with.

Priyanka's role is limited but she does well. Her smile and determined love for her man is endearing.

Other characters like Hrithik's family and Om Puri are brief but well essayed, but give a round of applause to the man himself.

Hrithik has outdone himself this time. Rather than try to emulate Amitabh Bachchan, he's decided to do his own take of a younger,more blood thirsty and manipulative Vijay Chauhan and it works brilliantly. I almost want to say "Give him the damn Filmfare trophy for the 2013 awards already". He's brought back the angry young man in style.

The action is brutal at times, with very little to laugh about. The songs were okay, Chikni Chamile being the obvious standout , though the Deva song also was well picturised. Cinematography stood out both for the indoor scenes as well as the shoot in the village. Even in the few moments where light hearted banter prevails, you sense that the director is just easing his foot off the accelerator for a few minutes and we're soon going to be back to the thrill/rage/tension that envelopes the key characters.

That's the mark of a really good director. Hats off, Mr Karan Malhotra. You've shown seasoned directors how a remake should be done.

Me as an author

2012-01-24T18:51:00.000+05:30

My fellow co-author, Mrs Meena Bhatnagar, said it best.
The euphoria continues.

Coming back to Pune was a double blessing for me.
I got to meet my old staff and residents ( more details in an upcoming post ) and also, I got to be a part of an experience I never thought was possible in my life.

I got to be part of a book launch as an author.

Urban Shots : Bright Lights and Crossroads was released in Pune on January 20, 2012.
The function was held at Landmark in Phoenix Mall in Pune, an amazing mall that by sheer size dwarfs any other mall I've ever been to in my life.

To put things in perspective, I was there for 5 hours with my friends and we didn't even get to see 20% of the whole mall.

Anyway, the book launch was a fun affair .
Moderated by Ms Lipi Mehta of dfuse.in, the panel included :

Best selling authors like Paritosh Uttam and Ahmed Faiyaz ( both of whose previous short stories were premiered as short films at the event. ),
Upcoming novelists like Mr Jhangir Kerawala
A wide variety of first timers including Malcolm Carvalho, Anita Satyajit and myself.

There was an interactive session for the authors of both books after which came another first for most of us - the autograph session. Having signed endless case sheets over the years as a doctor, it still feels weird to see people coming up to you for a signature.Overall, it was an amazing experience for us all.
Now, coming to the most important part... how good are the books ?

I had the time to read these books as I returned from Pune and I can assure you - you will love these collections of short stories.
India really has a rich talent of writing - this is evident to all of us from the blogs we read everyday. Whether it is humour, heartfelt sentiments or silky prose, these books have it all thanks to the wide variety of authors and their unique styles. I really believe there is a great future for short story collections in India and the Urban Shots series has really tapped into a goldmine here.

The variety is all-encompassing : Randomly selecting chapters from Bright Lights, these are the first 6 that came up.

A couple cheating on each other with other lovers leading up to a hilarious climax ( Namita Nair's Double Mixed ),
A mom missing her child after he's gone abroad ( Ahmed Faiyaz's Across the Seas ),
The problems of having an uninvited guest everyday ( Pradeep Raj's Maami Menace ),
A love story with a twist between a security guard and an office hottie ( Meena Bhatnagar's Cats and Sponges ),
An American basketball star coming to an Indian barbershop for a unique haircut ( R Chandrasekar's The Peacock Cut ),
The best way to reply to the "you've won a million dollar" email scams ( Mydhili Varma's The Pig in the Poke )

These are just 6 of the 29 wonderful stories in this book.

Speaking in baseball terms, if the first Urban Shots was a hit to first base and a good beginning, these two collections are absolute home runs. The variety of stories, the themes, the unique styles - I personally felt they all gelled together better this time around.

And early opinion online and from fellow readers seems to concur with my own. Readers I've interacted with genuinely did like the books. Of course, I'm gonna be personally biased to Urban Shots : Bright Lights as opposed to Urban Shots : Crossroads ( Team Chottu vs Team Kainaz, as I call them, based on the covers ) as my own story is in it.

The icing on the cake for me ? Well, my story is specially featured in the book's official site. What more can an author ask for ?

The book is presently available online at a discounted price with cash-on-delivery options at Flipkart, Landmark, Crosswords and Uread.com

Happy Reading... do tell me what you think of the books after reading it.

Addendum :

I'm adding links from online sites as I get them, reviewing either the book launch or the book itself.

1. Bookchums.com

Urban Shots : Book launch release dates

2012-01-07T21:50:00.000+05:30

The book launch of the next two parts in the URBAN SHOTS series ( Crossroads and Bright Lights ) is finally upon us. Featuring both accomplished as well as first time authors, the Urban Shots series deals with stories from everyday life that we can all relate to and enjoy.

The dates and venues for the book launch are as provided below :

19 Jan 2012 - 7 pm, Landmark, Infiniti Mall, Andheri, Mumbai

20 Jan 2012 - 7 pm, Landmark, Phoenix Marketcity, Pune

21 Jan 2012 - 5 pm, Reliance Time Out, Cuningham Road, Bangalore

There are also possible events in February in Delhi, Chennai, Hyderabad and Goa which may coincide with the launch of Urban Shots : Love Collection.

Hope to see you all guys and gals there. It'll be fun, I assure you. I know all the authors, myself included, are looking forward to meeting you.

New beginnings

2012-01-02T18:00:00.001+05:30

She picked up on the fifth ring. Every single time, he chuckled to himself. Call it a crazy coincidence but she always picked up on the fifth ring. How was that even possible,he wondered ? I mean, sure, he could hear the number of rings from his end of the phone but she would be hearing that tacky ringtone of hers, right ? Tum to Tehre Pardesi... Of all the songs in the world, she had to choose Altaf Raja !! The tragedy king of tragedy songs !! Heck, he thought, Altaf Raja himself probably had Bappi Lahiri as his ringtone.

"Hello?" he could hear the sound of traffic behind her. She was travelling somewhere. "Ankit Sir? Ankit Sir ? I can't hear you."

He smiled. He found himself smiling a lot around her these days. Nine months ago, he'd been the senior in charge of 'welcoming' her batch to the college. Of all the girls around in that batch of freshers, he never thought he'd develop a crush on her. I mean, there were prettier girls, there were richer girls... but as he had come to realise over the last month or so, there was only one Navya. Of all the girls in that batch, she was the only one who he felt truly comfortable with. They both shared the same taste in music and movies. She loved talking about any topic under the sun ( admittedly, not a unique feature but it was more fun with her ) . She was smart, yet knew not to be oversmart like some of her batchmates. Over the last month or so, they'd ended up going out in the same gang frequently as her cousin Dhanya was going around with his pal, Suresh. Still, today was different. Today was THE day. He wished he'd prepared better instead of banking on his own spontaneity to carry him through.

"Hi Navya. Can you hear me ?"

"Ya. I'm in the bus right now, Sir. But you tell..."

"Navya, listen."

"Ya ?"

"The new Abhishek Bachchan picture is releasing this week." He knew she liked Abhishek. He preferred Hrithik Roshan's new movie himself but for some weird reason, she liked Abhishek better.

"I know."

"I'd gotten tickets for it for Friday noon and I was wondering..."

"What ? I can't hear you ?"

"I said I have tickets for the new Abhishek Bachchan movie. Friday noon show. I was wondering if you wanted to come... "

"Sure. I'd love that. Awesome,sir."

"There is one problem. You'll have to bunk class. I know how important attendance is to you girls... after all, if you don't get 100% attendance, what will mummy pappa say ? Who will marry a girl with 80% attendance, na ?" he teased.

"Kya sir. That's not a problem. Priya will give proxy as usual, sir."

"Call me Ankit, no."

"Ok sir" She giggled.

"Great"

"I'll come with Dhanya and meet you guys there then, ok ?"

"Uh..."

He bit his lip. This was gonna be awkward."Uh, Navya ? They're not coming."

"Why is that, sir ?"

"See, I only got two tickets and I was thinking maybe you and I ..." his voice trailed off, letting her see the full implications of his statement. He waited a few seconds as the sounds of traffic invaded his ears through the phone.

"Navya ? You there ?"

"Sir... "

"Ya.."

"Don't think bad of me sir but I may have other plans on that day."

"Oh. No. Not at all."

"I forgot all about it till just now. I have to meet a friend for some stuff."

"Ya ya.. of course. Stuff. Of course. I understand."

"In fact, I was going to meet him for that only now." Him. HIM ?

"Not a problem at all ya. I just had an extra ticket so I simply asked like that."

"Okay sir... Uh. I've to get down from the bus sir. I'll talk to you later."

"Ya, sure. Okay. Bye."

Dammit, he screamed inside his head. He'd made a complete ass of himself there. He should have found a more subtle way to ask her out. Now she knew and it would be really embarrassing when they next met. Damn !! What if she told Dhanya ? Dhanya would tell Suresh. Everyone would know he'd asked her out and she'd turned him down. Oh man. And who was this "him" she was talking about ? Had somebody already asked her out before him ? That would be just like his luck. To finally find a girl worth asking out and then find out some other jackass had asked her out the day before.

What ya, God ? I don't even bug you during exam times nowadays. Just for this one thing I asked your help and you screwed it up. As it is, it looks like you have no idea what you're doing. Sachin isn't scoring his 100th century. All the good singers and artists you're taking and politicians you're leaving behind here. Anna Hazare isn't eating but his gang is growing fatter. Small small things like this also you can't manage to do. Kuch tho sharam kar... Do something right in the world.

The doorbell rang, interrupting his personal monologue. He looked at his watch. Wow. Had it already been 30 minutes since he'd called her up ? Time sure flew when you were in a rotten mood. He stayed in his bed, making no move to get up.

The bell rang again. He already knew who it was. Mr Gupta had told he'd come by in the evening to collect the flat rent. At the third ring, he realised that he wasn't leaving and got up. Another long ring.

"OK OK. Stop ! I'm coming." he called out.

Just as he reached the door, the bell rang again. "I SAID I'M COMING" he bellowed.

Five rings. Ironic. Very funny, God. He opened the door. "I'm sorry Mr Gupta, I really don't have the rent right now..." his voice trailed off.

She stood in front of him smiling. "Sir. I have two tickets for the Hrithik Roshan movie. Friday noon show."

He smiled , his mouth wide open. She continued.

"There is one problem. You'll have to bunk class... I know how important attendance is to you boys... after all, if you don't get 100% attendance, what will mummy pappa say , na ? Which girl will come for boys with 50 % attendance ?"

His smile had now broken out into a full fledged grin, but still his voice failed him.

"Arrey Sir. Tell fast. Just now, I got a call from a college mate also asking me to come with him for that chuk-aduuu Abhishek's movie. If you don't want to come, I'll call him and say yes."

The grin finally gave way to a laugh. She laughed with him.

And just like that, all was well with the world again.

Well, except for Mr Gupta, who didn't get his rent money that weekend.

He didn't return empty-handed though. He did learn a new fact that Friday. Apparently, the price of a tub of caramel popcorn, two ice cream sundaes and two large Pepsis was practically a quarter of his rent, he was reliably informed.

Bright Lights ahead...

2011-12-28T11:05:00.000+05:30

The title is apt for life as it stands for me right now.

Life's come full circle. I wanted to end the year with a post of anger conveying my present state of mind, but some people are just not worth the anger. It's time to look at the bright side of a dark night... to see the beauty of a single glistening star in a long, dark and lonely night.

URBAN SHOTS : BRIGHT LIGHTS releases in January 2012. It can be pre-ordered at a discount price from the Flipkart link presently.

It's the second paperback book after Chicken Soup for the Indian Doctor's Soul which features a short story by me.
If you click to enlarge the picture and read the synopsis, I think you'll agree that quite a few of the stories seem chirpy, intriguing and worth a read. I can vouch that my own contribution is indeed a bright and happy feel-good story and I hope you all love it as much as I do.

I wish you all a happy end to this year and a lovely beginning to the New Year.

Death of a naive man.

2011-12-21T20:31:00.001+05:30

Naive. Dunce. Innocent. Popat.
We'll make him do it.
It's okay, if we continue, he'll back down.
He won't ever raise his hand or his voice.
Even if he fights, once we fight back, he'll look for a peaceful compromise.

All of you know someone like this. I see one everyday. Me. I keep convincing myself that by compromising, I'm doing the right thing. That turning my back to a fight makes me a better man.

But the truth is it matters only in a civilization which is 'civil'. In a land of thugs and liars, being good is equal to being weak. It's a land where the simple act of drawing a chair back for a girl to sit is considered a sign of weakness. Chivalry is considered a lack of manliness.
It's a land where even when people get caught for rape and murder, they don't break down and confess like we've seen all our lives in movies and books ; they just speak of their contacts and wealth and how they'll get out of trouble.

Knowing a good man gets you nowhere. Knowing a ruthless politician or murderer makes you 'powerful'.

There is no shame of being guilty.. if anything, there is a pride for their invincibility.

For long I believed in my own lie that by not harming others and compromising, I am being an example. But I'm just a relic of an era that's gone by. To survive, I need to give up who I am.

Every year end, I look back on the year that has passed. I see a few happy memories, a few new friends... but the sad memories outweigh the good. The memories of people taking advantage and backstabbing. Of people knowing I'm the one who can be cheated easily. Again. And again.

I don't consider it a crime to believe in the good of people. It isn't a crime to believe in the 'beauty of a random kind act' like all the videos we post in Facebook tell us. It isn't a crime to be naive like me. Heaven knows I'd prefer to have friends who are naive rather than people who use brute force.

But it is a crime not to learn from the past. To believe in the good of people even as they continue to cheat you. There are no magical moments of revelation when they realise the error of their ways and look to turn over a new leaf.

They are who they are... And it is time I stopped being who I am.
There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to stop being a goody-two-shoes and let the claws out.
You can't let a naive person survive in this world ? So be it.

Chinese starters...

2011-12-15T19:25:00.001+05:30

The one thing I find amusing is that there's always someone ready to sit for arguing with you based on silly assumptions.

This was an incident that occurred when I was in medical school. Our hostel mess had a fixed menu for every meal of the week. For example, Sunday mornings were dosa day, Friday afternoons were fried-chicken-and-ghee-rice day and so forth. Tuesday morning was bun-and-jam day.

We were sitting down for breakfast one Tuesday at the mess and were served our regular plates of bun and jam by the cook. While all of us tucked into it, a friend of mine came over to us and dropped the plate with a loud clatter on the table as he sat down.

Me : Something the matter ?
Him : I hate bun and jam.
Me : ( sensing a rant coming and trying to undo my previous question and act oblivious ) Okaaay.
Him : What "okay" ? How can you all eat this ?
Me ( resigned to my fate ) : Well, it's pretty good, you know. I don't really see the problem.

Him : You NRIs are all like this only. You'll eat bread toast with butter and sausages and cornflakes for breakfast. You should be brought up entirely in India. Then only you can understand what it's like for us.
Me : Really ? What's that like ?
Him : We need our dosas and idlis man. Their taste is different, man, from all these foreign foods. That taste of appam with stew...
Friend #2 : .. puttu and kadala curry...
Him : Exactly. That's it. That's a good breakfast. Not this bun and jam.
Me : Look. I ain't arguing with you on Indian food. I just don't see what's wrong with normal things like bread and jam or a bulls-eye egg.

He looked at me with contempt. "You guys won't understand. For you, all this British and American stuff is normal."

I'd had enough by now. "Look. It isn't about US or UK or anything. I'm just saying you should be open to enjoying others food too. Infact, this is pretty normal stuff. I know a place where people actually eat Chinese food for breakfast.

He : No way. That's rubbish. I've never heard of any such place.
Me: Seriously.
He : What ? Chicken Manchurian, fried rice and all ?
Me : Manchurian, Schezwan.. you know, Chinese stuff.
He : I don't believe you.
Me : Bet ?
He : Bet.
Me : What do I get if I win ?
He : I'll draw the diagrams for your anatomy record books for a week. Otherwise, you should draw mine.
Me : Done.
He : Done.
Me : Neatly ?
He : Neatly.
Me : Okay.
He : Okay.

I continued munching on my bun. I looked up. He and the others at the table were watching me expectantly.
Me : What ?
Him : Hah ! I knew it. Simply you were bluffing. Haha. These 5 guys are witnesses. You can't back out now. You have to draw my record book.
Me : Wait.. what was the question again ?
Him : Haha. You can't escape.
Me : I just wanted to know what the question was.
He stressed out each word slowly as he spoke, obviously enjoying the sweet taste of success. "Where do people eat Chinese food for breakfast ?"
I smiled back at him. "Well... China, I'm guessing."
Him : ...

I didn't have to draw any diagrams that week. He tried to back out, of course, but ..well, I had 5 witnesses too, you see.

This is my entry for the KFC "Sets you on Fire" contest. Hope you liked it.

Why did the snake cross the road ?

2011-12-12T18:11:00.001+05:30

I am constantly amazed by the hidden abilities of animals that form their survival instincts.

My friend and I were returning back to the operation theatre after lunch when we saw an unusual sight.

Even as a lot of medical students were walking past it blissfully unaware, a common green whip snake was slithering and crossing the cobbled road that joined the college and the hospital. It seemed to be in a genuine hurry to reach the administrative block, so probably it was late on it's hostel fees or something, I figured. Heaven knows I've done the same across these very same roads during my college days.

But then a funny thing happened. At the edge of the road, it quickly climbed up the pavement, entered into the grass immediately adjacent to it and.... stopped.

It just stopped.

Even when I brought my mobile camera to within biting distance in an attempt to get a clearer picture, it didn't call my bluff. It just stood still ( stood/ sat/ whatever it is snakes do !!) And the truth was - it was a wonderful camouflage. The snake which was so obvious while crossing the road suddenly became invisible to all the people walking around it.

I don't know how they realise it - that they look like a blade of grass - but they just seem to do. I'm sure it's a hoot when they play catching cook at their friends birthday parties but for silly humans like me, these survival instincts which come so naturally to animals is really fascinating.

Of course, my friend pointed out that this particular dude is probably gonna be going home pissed, throwing his school bag on the floor and screaming to his mom - "Camouflage, my cold blooded a** !! Mom, you better have a plan B on how to survive because I did what you said and those humans were just taking snaps of me as if I were a swimsuit model with a wardrobe malfunction !!!"

P.S. Could you find the snake in the first picture ? If not, I hope he's clearer in the second picture. He's diagonal from top left to bottom right... kinda like as if he were posing for a game of "Snake and Ladders".

P.P.S. Clicking the picture enlarges it. Just in case you didn't know.

P.P.P.S. If you meet a green whip snake wearing tinted shades with a gun in his pocket and he asks you for my address... don't give it to him.

Two of my favourites...

2011-12-10T21:37:00.001+05:30

We all have favourites... be it food, actors, drinks, people or even Gods. This is a rare photo for me : combining two of my biggest favourites in a single shot.

Which two favourites ?

A) Ruby, the wonder dog.

Born in our very own house more than 12 years ago, she's been there as a caring companion throughout our lives and is a constant reminder that when it comes to loyalty, dogs are better than humans everyday. Age has diminished her eyesight and reflexes, but not her loving heart.
Oh ya, and she blogs too. What ? You don't believe me ? Check this out then.

B) Prawns.

What is your first memory in life ?
Mine is of me stealing a bowl of fried prawns meant for the entire family, going to my room and eating it all by myself.

Three decades later, it's still not safe to keep a bowl of prawns around me.
Judging by the look in her eyes, I think that dictum applies to Ruby too !!

P.S. For those who're worried/wondering, naaa..relax. We don't give her spicy food.She's just performing her ritual of being the official 'food sniffer' of my plate.
Some airports hire dogs to sniff out drugs. Ruby's too posh to work at an airport so she just sniffs out hazardous stuff which she can consume to save time for me : stuff like bones between chicken, meat between rice, peanuts between closed palms and the ever deadly - ice cream out of the fridge.

Quick question : Name the first 2 'favourites' that come in your mind.

Finally on Android

2011-12-06T16:14:00.001+05:30

I was always a gadget freak.
So it was probably kind of weird that in this day and age of IPHONES and ANDROIDS, I was still stuck with Symbian. That too, a Nokia E72 that, true to form, waited exactly for the 365 days warranty to end before it's software started acting like a drunk frog chasing after fireflies.
The fact that it went for an 'unanticipated' swim in a bucket full of water a month later just seemed to confirm it's suicidal tendencies, as far as I was concerned.

Thus began the search for a new phone and a shift finally, after 10 year, away from Nokia. For over two months, I was irritating everyone I knew - from interns, post graduates and professors in the hospital to friends on Facebook - and even those I didn't know on Twitter, as I tried to reach a decision.

After ruling out the Iphone ( I find their rules a bit too restrictive ), I was pretty much going back and forth between sticking to my budget and going for the best. Samsung Galaxy S2 was definitely on a lot of people's mind as the best option, but frankly it was beyond my budget. In the end, I went with a decision that surprised even me.

I got the HTC INCREDIBLE S , after reading possibly every review of it there was online and asking quite a few people who had it across the world.

Major plus points for me :
1. Comes bundled with the latest Android software ( Gingerbread )
2. An excellent rugged feel unlike the plasticky feel I got with some Samsungs.
3. Wonderfully large and bright 4 inch screen.
4. 8 megapixel camera with dual LED flash and a 1.3 megapixel front facing camera for video chatting ( if that day ever comes !! )
5. Sense UI for a wonderfully smooth 'touch' experience.
6. Quite simple syncing between all my accounts ( mobile, Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Yahoo ) now.
7. Android market. 'nuff said.

Sure it has it's minus points too -
1. It ain't dual core which means someday in the future, the new android games may not work on it.
2. It ain't got as good servicing options as, say, a Samsung
3. Battery life, with me around, was always gonna be an issue. But I'm getting better at battery management now as I've learned to keep the battery guzzling Wi-Fi off, unless needed, besides getting a few battery saving apps. Incidentally, I met a few guys with other Androids as well, including the Samsung Galaxy S2, and all have the same complaint regarding battery life.

Overall, I'm loving my new mobile. For a kid who grew up watching Star Trek and the awesome technologies they dreamt of in the 60's before man had even landed on the moon, today it feels amazing to actually live in a world where all these gadgets are now a reality.
Everyday, I find new applications for the mobile : medical textbooks and drug encyclopedias, finding restaurants,hotels and even gas stations near me, chatting with friends all over the world for free ( WhatsApp ), online booking and what not, this mobile has everything.

Heck, who knows, someday I might even use it for making a phone call.

Pleasant surprises

2011-12-01T20:31:00.001+05:30

A friend asked me a question a couple of years back : "Who cares what you write ? You think many people read what you write ? Or that it affects them in any way ?"

I got a call yesterday while I was in the operation theatre in Mangalore. I was, assisted by three students, managing 3 cases simultaneously, and was pretty worn out. The call was from my former Head of Department in Pune... from the college where I learned to be an anaesthesiologist.

I had planned a surprise for her a few weeks back. Aided by a trustworthy post graduate there in Pune, I got a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Indian Doctor's Soul" with my story in it hand-delivered to her in the hospital, with a personal note from me. She called me almost immediately after reading it and the happiness at this unexpected gift was evident in her words. She was so overjoyed with 'the pleasant surprise' that she planned a 'pleasant surprise' of her own.

It turns out the senior students were due to have their semester exams the next day. Madam sent the message to all the seniors in the operation theatre that after lunch, they had to meet in our 'seminar room' for a surprise class. Apparently, all the students had their hearts in their mouths because they all figured the 'surprise class' was just a ruse and thought their semester exam was being preponed by a day. So you had half a dozen scared students scurrying all over for books to read the topics at the last moment. I'm sure it was an uneasy lunch for them too that afternoon.

However, when all the students assembled, they found all the staff gathered there as well and understood this was no exam. Madam then revealed to them the true reason she had called them all - to show them my book. She happily read them the letter I'd sent with the book and had my story read out to all of them.
I wasn't there which is just as well... some people don't take criticism well. Me ? I get really embarrassed when praised and prefer to stay in the background while working for my successes.

The students called almost immediately after ( by which time I'd finished my cases for the day and was relaxing in the ICU, imagining the late lunch I was gonna devour ) and I could just hear the smiles on their faces as they talked. They were 'obviously' overjoyed there was no exam but they also liked the story ( some of them knew the case personally ) and it was a welcome distraction from the tensions and worries of everyday work in an operation theatre. They'd had some sad news earlier in the morning and this brought a smile back on their faces.

Of course, knowing that my story had been read aloud in a department where I had studied - where I had worked day in and day out for 3 years, where I had presented so many powerpoint presentations to my staff and peers, written exams and yes, eaten many a celebratory cake-piece as well - it was an honour and a joy for me which I can't explain.

I wanted to bring a smile to a person I remembered fondly with a surprise. She brought a smile to a lot of students today with her surprise. Everyone's happiness made me smile and brightened my day right back.

A friend asked me a question a couple of years back : "Who cares what you write ? You think many people read what you write ? Or that it affects them in any way ?"

Today I got my answer : Yes. It does affect people. I know it for a fact. If it brings a smile on even a single face a day, I think I've done my job. And that matters to me.

Celebrating Six years of Godyears...

2011-11-30T16:58:00.001+05:30

Today marks 6 years of GODYEARS.
I won't deny it. I'm proud of it.

This same time last year, I was pretty pumped up with the technical stats of the blog :

2 blogs, 5 years, 322 posts, 3333 comments, 72702 page views. So what's this year's stats ?
2 blogs, 6 years, 361 posts, 3990 comments, 100908 page views... and 6 published stories.

That last bit is particularly pleasing to me.

I want to thank everyone who comes by here, reads and comments on these posts.. it feels nice to know people care. It feels great to meet people from all over the world and listen to their opinions as well.

It's while I was wondering what to type that Reflections sent me a tag that pretty much did my work for me.. asking me to choose worthy reads from 6 years worth of blogposts. I've done my best to be concise, selecting specific ones that I thought matched the needs of the tag.

What this tag is about:
To unite bloggers (from all sectors) in a joint endeavor to share lessons learned and create a bank of long but not forgotten blog posts that deserve to see the light of day again.

Rules:
1) Blogger is nominated to take part

2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog – 1 link for each category.
The links are:
- Your most beautiful post
– Your most popular post
– Your most controversial post
– Your most helpful post
– A post whose success surprised you
– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
– The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 more bloggers to take part.

4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers

5) And so it goes on!

Here's my list :-

- Your most beautiful post - HEARTSTRINGS
An Urban Shots Silver Winner, this story is as much fiction as it is fact. I loved it as I wrote it and I'm glad people who read it loved it too and related to it.

– Your most popular post - TO THE STRANGER I LOVE
Even 4 years after it was written, I still get fanmail over this post. If ever you've watched your friends happy in love while you sat alone and wished for similar happiness, this post is for you.

– Your most controversial post - TETRAPACK GODS
People used to wonder why I challenge God so often . The fact is I don't challenge Gods... I do challenge people's beliefs when they allow blind faith to supercede common sense and logic. "TETRAPACK GODS" is a pretty popular old post about blind faith in Godmen.

– Your most helpful post - I NEED YOU TO KNOW, MY CHILD
This is not helpful for the world in any way. It is for one woman... a dear friend of mine who was going through a phase no mother should suffer. She has been my shoulder to cry on many a time in my youth. This was me returning the favour.

– A post whose success surprised you - AMBERVILLE
Amberville remains the most read story till date from the short story site D.ustb.in. While I liked the theme, I was surprised by how people took up the "land where all is not well" theme of Amberville, resulting in sequels like Payback , Guardian Angel and even Dr Rohan's Murders at a Hospital which was a BlogAdda winner itself.

– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved - SHAKTIMAAN AND DIRTY GANGA
I really loved this comedy movie I created , even if I say so myself. I still laugh out loud reading it. I'd give my arm to be as creative as I was 5 years ago.

– The post that you are most proud of - JUNGLE PARABLE
People have messaged from literally 'different corners of the world', telling me how much they loved the moral of this post and how it affects them. Thank you.

5 dynamic people I tag because I know they've got supercool posts and I want them to rack their brains and choose their own bests :
Ratzzz
Alka
Suruchi
Nitisha
Nisha

Oceans and decades apart

2011-11-23T07:17:00.001+05:30

I recently met two people ( separately ) who'd been in a relationship a long time ago.

He : Is she doing well ?
Me : Yes.
He : Is she happy ?
Me : Yes.
He : That's great. She's a lovely person. She deserves it. It feels good hearing that.

She : Is he doing well ?
Me : No.
She : Is he ok ?
Me : No.
She : Damn. That's so sad. He's a great guy. He doesn't deserve it. I'll pray for him.

I recall their breakup was a bitter one. They had not been in touch for over a decade. And yet they had it in them to remember the other fondly and genuinely rejoice in their happiness or feel sad at the other's pain.

I wish more people were like this. It's a quality I don't see anymore.

Why This Kolaveri Di ... Soup-er, I say !!

2011-11-21T16:36:00.001+05:30

For those haven't heard it yet, this is a new Tamil song that's gone viral in Youtube, thanks to quite a few unique features :

1. An excellent hummable song with a typical Tamil 'kuthu' style that will have you tapping your feet right from the start.

2. The video shows the recording itself rather than the movie video.

3. It's sung by this year's National Award winner for Best Actor Dhanush ( who richly deserved it for his amazing performance in Aadukalam ) and you can just see him enjoying himself as he sings, even as his wife Aishwarya ( Rajnikanth's daughter ) and Shruti Hassan ( Kamal Hassan's daughter ) watch on.

4. Can you seriously beat those lyrics ? ( P.S. For Non-Tamilians, relax. You don't need to know the language. It's mostly 'Taminglish' anyway and besides, there are subtitles !! What more could you ask for ? )

So how'd you like it ?

Highway 49

2011-11-19T18:38:00.001+05:30

"You're sure you're not scared ? They say the highway between BC Road and GM Conservatory is haunted." The two men who'd just got into his car asked.
"Really ?"

6 months ago.

"Beta. I don't think it's a good idea."
Ramesh looked at the old man sitting next to him in his Ambassador for a second, then turned his attention back to the rearview mirror and the woman slowly approaching them. The old man must have noticed his expressions because his tone changed immediately.
"Nahi... what I meant is we don't know this girl at all. What is she doing in the middle of this highway ? You read lots of things in the paper these days.. you just can't be sure anymore. She could be part of a gang to rob people by getting them to stop for her."
Ramesh : Look at her. You really think she's a robber ? She must weigh 50 kgs at the most. And there's noone around. Besides, you didn't have any issues about hitchhikers when I picked you up 3 hours ago, Mr Srinivas.
Srinivas : But beta, I am 55 years old. What harm can I do ? And I entered your vehicle from town,not a jungle. She looks scary. Look at her walking so slowly in the dark towards us... your taillights giving her a fiery look... Listen at those dogs howling in the night.
She came up to them, opened the door and got in the backseat. Both men stared at her from the rearview mirror.

Up close, she looked strikingly beautiful, wrapped in a thick shawl, her wet hair glistening off the various reflections of light within the car. Srinivas leant forward and whispered to Ramesh "It's just like in the movies. A beautiful woman walking alone at night in a lonely highway... I'm telling you there's something not right."
Ramesh : Arre, stop it !! Simply trying to scare people. Thank God she's not wearing a ...
But he didn't get a chance to complete his thought as the girl unwrapped the shawl around her and started drying her hair. Both men stared at the pristine white sari, then back at each other. Ramesh gulped.

Srinivas : Beti. How come you are alone so late at night over here ?
The girl continued drying her hair, but her eyes now fixated on Srinivas through the rearview mirror.
Girl : I and my husband were on our way back from a function and our car broke down. He's up ahead. We'd just had an argument and I kept walking. I didn't realise how late it was till it started raining. Could you give me a lift to him ?
Ramesh : Sure. I'm Ramesh and this is Mr Srinivas. by the way.
Girl : I'm Meenakshi. Meenu, for short.

As Ramesh started the car, Srinivas found himself staring at the woman. To him, it seemed like her eyes were fixed on him through the mirror. Her smile was inviting, but not necessarily in a good way. It was a smile that promised to reveal secrets, but were they secrets you'd want to hear, he wondered ?

If Ramesh noticed Mr Srinivas's nervousness, he appeared unfazed by it.
Ramesh : You know, you're really beautiful. If I were your husband, I'd never have gotten into a fight with you ever or let you walk away like that without coming running for you.
Meenu smiled again."That's so sweet of you. But all men are like that only. They say one thing in the beginning, but later on, they all don't care. They treat us like trophies to be put on a shelf. Nahi, Mr Srinivas ?
Srinivas felt the hair on his hands stand. Suddenly, the car seemed extremely cold. He leaned forward to turn off the air conditioner, only to find it was already off. He looked back at Meenu through the mirror. Again, those eyes.

Srinivas turned to Ramesh and whispered "I'm not kidding. She's scaring me."
Ramesh : Keep quiet. Nonsense.
Meenu leaned forward, her face peering in between them. "What are you boys talking about ?"
Ramesh : Nothing, ji. We were just saying, you looked really familiar. Are you a famous celebrity or something ?
Meenu giggled. "Of course. I'm Aishwarya Rai, na ? You guys have such cheesy dialogues while flirting, I swear. Does it ever work ?"
Ramesh smiled. "It worked once for me. Fooled the girl into marriage too."
Meenu : Wow ! Really. She must be really dumb to fall for that line.
Ramesh : She was. Hehe..
Srinivas watched this banter in amazement. "What a generation this is. Both are married and flirting with total strangers. Chee Chee. Luckily, my Sandhya's grown up to be a model girl. Tomorrow, at this time, I'll be at her wedding watching her become Anil's wife."

Srinivas absent-mindedly turned his attention back to the rearview mirror. As they crossed a turn, the streetlights fell on Meenu's face and it took him a second to register what he saw. He turned around and stared at her.She smiled at him. As they passed the next streetlight, Srinivas saw her face directly for the first time. Her eyes, like her sari, were pristine white.

He caught hold of Ramesh's shoulder tightly.
Ramesh winced in pain. "What's wrong with you, old man ?"
Srinivas : She's..she's... she's not alive.
Ramesh : Stop it. You're embarrassing yourself.
Srinivas : Listen to me, boy. She's already dead. Can't you feel the chill in here..
Ramesh : The AC..
Srinivas : IS OFF !! The howling dogs when we stopped..
Ramesh : It's a full moon night.
Srinivas : STOP IT !! STOP DEFENDING HER ! JUST LOOK AT HER !!
Ramesh turned around and looked at Meenu. "I'm really sorry. I don't really know him. Don't feel bad."

Meenu smiled scornfully. Her white irises sparkled back at them. Ramesh yelped and hit the brakes. The car screeched to a halt. All around them, the trees swayed with the heavy rains.
Ramesh : Shit ! Shit !
Meenu : It's people like you who trap women with your lines and destroy their lives forever. Players...Khiladis. Today, I will rid the world of one more..
Ramesh : ABEY CHUP KAR !! Shut up, yaar.
Srinivas and Meenu stared at him.
Ramesh : What the hell yaar. How did this happen ?
Srinivas : What..what are you doing ?
Ramesh : Shut up, you geezer.
He turned to Meenu.

Ramesh : "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE !?! THIS IS MY REGION ! I DIED HERE ! I get to haunt this section. You can't just waltz in here and start haunting whichever place you feel like. Baap ka maal thode hi hey."
Meenu and Srinivas watched as the blacks of his iris turned white; Srinivas in shock, Meenu in amazement.
Meenu and Ramesh stared at each other. All of a sudden, Meenu burst out laughing.
Meenu : This is hilarious. Oh My God. I'm so sorry yaar. I usually haunt the forest area off Highway 26. But now because the roads are so bad, nobody comes by that way. So I figured I'd try my luck elsewhere. I had no idea this highway was already booked. I'm so sorry, man.
Ramesh : It's ok. I've only just come here a few months back. I pick up strays who need a lift and then ..well, you know the rest.
Meenu : Achaa.. mine is the old 'white lady in the rain' technique. Arrey, you won't believe how effective it still is.
Ramesh : Always a horny man thinking he's gonna get some, eh ?
Meenu : I know..
Ramesh : Still, this must be the first time a ghost was trying to scare another ghost..haha.
Meenu : Chalo. Atleast we have something to do for the night.

She turned her gaze towards Mr Srinivas who was still staring in shock at her.
Ramesh : Ya. I guess we'll have to share him now. So how do you wanna go, old man ? The lady or the driver ?
Srinivas turned towards him. Ramesh bared his teeth, revealing pointed canines that surely weren't there earlier. Srinivas looked at the two companions of this car ride, then slowly started to smile.
Ramesh and Meenu stared open mouthed at him as Srinivas's eyes too turned a familiar shade of white.
Srinivas : Bachoo, Jis school mein tum log padte ho, nah....udhar ka Principal Tuition leta mere se. For 15 years, I've been doing this. I'm on my way to Delhi to attend my grandchild's wedding. I just thought I'd pick up a driver along the way for some fun.
The three of them stared at each other... then burst out laughing. It was going to be a fun ride after all.

Present day

"You're sure you're not scared ? They say the highway between BC Road and GM Conservatory is haunted." The two men who'd just got into his car asked him.

"Really ? I don't believe in all that. Besides, we have nothing to worry about. We'll be picking up a couple of my friends along the way." Ramesh said with a smile. "Strap on your seatbelts, boys. We wouldn't want you to get hurt now, would we ?"

Movie Review: Rockstar ****

2011-11-13T09:00:00.001+05:30

In 2009, Imtiaz Ali released 'Love Aaj Kal' after the grand success of his earlier film 'Jab We Met' and divided viewers into a) those who loved its sentiments and simplicity and b) those who wondered what the heck the movie was about.

Enter 2011 and he's back with Rockstar, another movie that's bound to do the same with viewers across the nation. So let me be clear where I stand here : This is a 'must watch' movie for so many reasons.

1. For starters, this isn't a story about the life of a Rockstar... rather, it's the story of a naive young guy( Ranbir ) who wants to be one and is led ( correctly ? ) to believe that the key to becoming great is through pain/ heartbreak.
His efforts towards breaking his heart deliberately leads him towards Heer ( Nargis Fakhri ), but things take an unexpected turn when they actually become friends. This sequence has some of the funniest moments of the movie. It also leads him on the path to a destiny he desired - though the path is more painful than he ever imagined.

2. Their moments together are magical by any standards of Bollywood : whether it is while fulfilling her wishlist of being a 'bad girl', the drives across a breathtaking Kashmir landscape or even their silent moments beside each other.
The constant confusion of the characters about the status of their relationship is actually a refreshing sight in a Hindi movies - it's how relations are in real life.

3. Imtiaz Ali intentionally keeps jumping back and forward, across many timelines - but it isn't confusing. Cinematography was excellent - be it Kashmir or Prague.

4. The late Shammi Kapoor has all of 5 scenes... but they're bittersweet, especially the moments between him and Ranbir.

5. I liked a couple of songs when I first heard the album. But as weeks passed by, I found myself loving a couple more songs, then a few more and so on. It was lovely, because it was the A R Rahman of old - songs which grow on you, unlike Pritam's songs which you know are an instant hit/flop. Rahman has outdone himself here, sticking to a lovely blend of retro rock, some amazing guitar work and Mohit Chauhan's amazing voice. The second half of the film literally turns into a musical as the songs are a constant feature in the background. Personal favourites - Saadda Haq and Tum Ho.

6. Ranbir Kapoor has outdone himself, performance wise. Note the naive boy at the starting who wanted to feel pain and then, much later, the tearful superstar begging his mentor to save him from the pain - I doubt if any of the other young guns could have pulled off this role. I can think of a couple of Khans who'd overdo it, too.
Nargis is wonderful as the fiery spirit who is unsure of herself. I liked her characterisation, though I do have a few complaints with the person who dubbed her voice.

7. This is a film that focuses exclusively on these 2 characters. The others... well, it's like watching people at the train station while you're on a moving train. You register their presence, but they're gone before you can focus on them. Still, everyone played their role well.

8. Where I can see people pointing out flaws : the characters constant confusion of their feelings, the non-linear method of story telling and the slightly ambiguous ending. For all 3 flaws, the answer remains the same - It just shows the confidence of a director who doesn't feel the need to spoonfeed his audience anymore.
And I appreciate that.

I feel you should definitely watch this movie. Tell me what you think after watching it.

Smells like Summer

2011-11-07T09:21:00.000+05:30

One of the first things that strikes you as you walk up to a person is his/her scent. A good perfume can, literally, be a very attractive turn on. Conversely, a bad perfume or a sweaty odour can really put me off and have me taking a step back or looking to walk away.

We all have our distinct tastes when it comes to perfumes. Some like the woody scents, others are enamoured by the fresh fruity aromas, some prefer aquatic and floral touches while others prefer to go for oriental notes.

As I started searching for perfumes for myself, the Aquarian in me took over and I started going into the 'whats and how's of perfumes. And I started to realise that there are so many things to consider and not just the first fragrance that hits you when you spray it on your hand. You have to consider :
1. the notes ( top, middle and base ) which determine how the perfume's scent changes over time,
2. the sillage ( how close a perfume stays to your skin : does it diffuse, leaving behind its smell even after you've left the elevator ? )
3. the longevity and
4. strength.

Personally, I'm more of a citrusy perfume guy myself. I guess I just like that summer kind of aroma as opposed to a musky woody odour.
My present perfumes ( and ones which I'd strongly recommend for those who love fresh scents ) are :

1. Paco Rabanne One Million ( distinct, long lasting )
2. CK One Summer ( very 'summery', strong sillage, average longevity )
3. L'eau par Kenzo ( good longevity, average sillage )
4. Armani Code ( distinct )

My wishlist for the future :
1. CK Eternity
2. Bvlgari Aqua Marine

So the question for you all today - What's in your perfume closet presently ?

New look for the blog... again !!!

2011-10-31T21:47:00.000+05:30

While I really liked the previous template, I just felt the need for a more youthful look for the blog and so began working on this for the past few days.
This is the final result. You'll have to go to the main page of Godyears for the full effect as the dynamic pictures are not available once you go into an individual post.

Please do comment and tell me what you think about it.

P.S. All the 'pictures in motion' do lead to the respective category on clicking.

My first published story (Paperback)

2011-10-21T18:31:00.001+05:30

Well, what can I say ?

One of the dreams of every blogger came true for me today. My mom called and informed me that I must have made some mistake because I ordered 2 copies of the same book to be delivered. After she read the title to me,I asked her to go through the list of stories in the book and check if any name sounded familiar.

She recognised my name the second time around.

I have gotten my story published in an international series. Even if I say so myself, it feels great.

Anyway, for those who're interested, my ( real life based ) article is in "Chicken Soup for the Indian Doctor's Soul."

The link to buying it (with 30% off, Free Home delivery and Cash on Delivery too !!) via FlipKart is here.
Hope you enjoy reading it.

London nahin, U.P. Statue !!

2011-10-17T13:35:00.002+05:30

Will someone please explain to me how we're allowing a confirmed megalomaniac to build statues of herself all across the state ? Is there any common sense to telling us that 'her party founder' wanted statues of her so she had to make it ? What if the dude wanted her to take a picture on the moon ? Would we then have to build a rocketship in U.P. and send her there too ?

This is really getting ridiculous.
You're taking money for the state's development, using it to build statues of yourself all over parks and landmarks and then when the country cries 'foul', you say they're just being 'Anti-Dalit'. And everyone quietens down immediately because they're scared of being termed 'anti-minority.' Meanwhile kids are dying of encephalitis left, right and centre in the state.

I know it's pretty slim pickings as far as Indian politics are concerned with one family taking it for granted that they own India, another party sure that communalism is the way and umpteen number of idiotic small parties fighting to further divide a nation. But still, the thought that a crazy loon like this is being considered as the next Prime Ministerial candidate is really scary.

The right man for the job

2011-10-06T18:34:00.001+05:30

A few weeks back, I was shopping with a friend late at night when my phone rang.
It was my P.G. student from the college where I teach.
Since it was late, I wondered what was up when I picked up the phone.
Me : Hi, A.
A : Sir, are you busy ?
Me : No problem, man. Tell me.
A : I needed some help, sir, and I figured you're the best person to ask.

My chest swelled up with pride. Sure, I was the youngest of the staff in my department, but apparently, the students had already seen some spark of genius in me. In a department filled with professors and associate professors and people with 30 odd years of experience, they obviously felt I was the most knowledgable in patient management. That's why even late at night, when the poor kid had a doubt while studying, he immediately called me.
I mentally prepared myself for tough questions on neuroanaesthesia, drugs and side effects, complex formulae and classifications.

Me : Of course. What's your doubt, man ?
A : Sir...
Me : Yes...
A : My Facebook homepage has changed. Can you tell me where the 'Sign out' button is ?
Me (and my ego) : .....

May your faith save you...

2011-09-30T13:22:00.004+05:30

"Where are you going? School's this way."
Akshay turned around. His friend, Imran, was staring at him with a quizzical look.
"I have to go to the temple. There's something I have to do."
"Are you mad ? The exam's in 30 minutes. If you don't enter the hall on time, you won't be allowed to write."
"Don't worry. I'll make it. Bye bye bye." Akshay called out as he continued walking.

"Are you mad?" Imran had asked him. Fair enough question, he presumed. Imran wouldn't get it anyway. He didn't believe. After all he wasn't one of them now, was he ? He remembered the conversation his mom had with the temple pujari the previous afternoon. He had taken the trouble to come home with the packet that now formed a good 40% of the weight in Akshay's bag.

"Thank you, Swami" his mother had said. "He's been really tense this last week. Not able to concentrate at all on his studies. And it's the board exams also. He needs to get first class to get a good college."
"I understand, child. You don't have to worry. This coconut has been sitting in the temple during the entire puja, right at the feet of the Devi. What more do I have to say ?"
"I don't know, Swami. He gets very scared whenever exams come. During class tests, he writes well but always in the final exam, the tension gets to him."
"Tell him to break the coconut tomorrow morning before going for the exams. All your child's worries and sorrows will disappear with that. He'll write excellently and get distinction. You don't worry."

As Akshay cut through the park, the fastest way to the temple, he recalled another conversation later that night. He'd heard loud voices speaking animatedly downstairs as he tried to make sense of these pages he'd read a dozen times before. Shortly after that, his mom entered his room.
"Was Dad angry again ?"
"Ya. Never mind him. You sit and study. Concentrate on the exams. the papers will be easy.You'll see."
"I hope so."
"And don't forget to visit the temple tomorrow,ok ?"
"I'm guessing Dad isn't a big fan of that idea ?"
"Yeah. Your father doesn't understand. He's not as religious a person as we are. That's why he doesn't understand the power of the Devi. Just you have to pray to her and she will listen. How many people have gone and prayed at that temple and got their wishes fulfilled. The Raveendrans... they couldn't have a child for so many years. After going to the temple, they were blessed with a child within a year. Now the first thing they do when they land in India is visit the Devi. They've even named the child after her. "
"Really ?"
"This is all the Devi's power. Your father won't understand. That's why his business is doing so badly. After your exams, I'll make sure he comes with us this time to the temple. Right now, the family is running all because of my prayers only. Anyway, you don't worry. The Pujari has said that with the breaking of the coconut, your worries will end. After that, all the answers will come to you and you can write properly."
"Thanks, Mom."

The visit by his dad had been more shorter. He'd just stuck his head through the door last night.
"All the best, champ. You can do it. Just relax and write. I have faith in you."
"Thanks, Dad. Umm, Dad ?"
"Yeah, son ?"
"Is it okay if I go to the temple tomorrow before going for the exams ?"
He watched his dad's face for signs of anger, but there were none. He couldn't quite read it though. A resigned smile ? Exasperation ?
"It's okay. Just don't put all your eggs... or in you and your mom's case, coconuts in one basket. In the end, you still have to study. Breaking a coconut won't get you top marks, just as breaking a headlamp won't increase my car sales. Remember that. God helps those who helps themselves."
"Okay dad.Thanks."

HOOOOOOONNNNNNNNK.

Akshay turned around just in time to see the car screech to a halt a few metres away from him. He'd been lost in his own thoughts and had absent mindedly started crossing the road. As the driver screamed abuses at him, he apologised and continued, thinking to himself "This is a sign. Ma always says before the bad time ends, there will be a big scare and after that, the good times begin. Now, all that's left is to get to the temple and break the .."

Akshay didn't even see the speeding Range Rover coming from the other side as it tossed him into the air like a scarf caught in a breeze. In the last few seconds before everything turned to black, Akshay's life didn't flash before his eyes as he'd read in the books.
Instead, his last vision was of a coconut landing on the road and shattering into a thousand pieces.

Author's note : There is a saying in Malayalam which literally transalates to "May your faith save you." I don't know if it's derived from any other book, but I do find it's use annoying, to say the least. There is a place for faith in all our lives, no doubt, but it is not as an antagonist for common sense and logic.

That white lady's lost it !!

2011-09-17T22:00:00.002+05:30

I've watched Simi Garewal since Rendezvous with Simi Garewal first aired in 1997. I loved the poise and dignity with which she conducted that show; the picture-perfect sets, the immaculate dressing and that amazing poise of the lady in white. She really turned the style quotient up. Which is why, watching her in India's Most Desirable, I almost feel like shooting the creative directors/producers behind the show. I mean seriously !?! What were you guys thinking ?

Where do I even begin ? Oh ya, let's start with the nymphomaniac alter ego. Whose idea was it to have this 63 year old lady behave like a cringy 6 year old girl called Kiki ? KIKI !!?? Was there a shortage of flirty-girl names that you decided to use the name of what I presume was an Angry Bird mating call ?

And flirting with Ranbir and Shahid Kapoor with that voice...ewwww !! How would you feel if you had Amitabh Bachchan biting his lower lip seductively and telling Kareena Kapoor "Big B loves you, baby. Come sit on my lap like you used to when you were a kid" in a similarly childish voice. Forget the Big B,I can't think of a single incidence in real life where that works ( Wives have to put up with their husbands behaving like immature kids due to that mangal sutra, so that doesn't count. )

Watching her talk like that made me feel dirty. I swear, if my parents walked in on me watching Kiki, I'd rather defend myself saying I was watching porn !! ( cough.. cough.. whatever that is. )

I'm also sure getting a skin care brand to sponsor the show of a 63 year old who's trying to be a 6 year old was a brilliant idea, but you know what ? The more I see it, the more I realise the long silences as Simi stares at her guest aren't meant to be poignant pauses...they're just her jaw muscles trying unsuccessfully to fight the botox and show a smile.

And what happened to the dresses ? She used to look majestic in the earlier show. Now she looks like she's got the same tailor as Cruella De Ville from the 101 Dalmations movie !

If you're running out of white dresses to create for her, may I make a suggestion ? Go for the classics. Cut two small holes in a white bedsheet and make her wear it over her head. That, along with the expressionless smile underneath would make her a shoo-in if they decide to make another sequel to THE GRUDGE.

Of course, getting a crowd along was a brilliant idea. Hey, if it worked for Oprah, why wouldn't it work here ? I just don't get why so many of today's MALE youth feel the need to hug the likes of Shahid and John Abraham. I would readily hug a Sonam Kapoor or an Anushka Sharma, but I don't see myself asking to hug Siddharth Mallya ( kudos to whoever decided he's India's Most Desirable, by the way. When's Rahul Mahajan coming on ? ) Also, I'm not trying to stir a controversy or suggest anything, but why didn't anyone hug Karan Johar ? The guy was genuinely feeling down at times and speaking from the heart and yet noone thought "This dude needs a bro hug."

Getting a lady with a crystal ball and tarot reading cards was very original too, I guess. I just have one question. Was Dumbledore too busy to attend or did he refuse to return after Kiki hit on him backstage ? I mean, what the hell, man.. this was the same lady who was doing the most dignified Bollywood talk show and you have her playing with cards ? And did I see an episode in between where they were hitting gongs and pressing buzzers instead of just answering yes and no ?

I'm sorry. I really have tried to like this show but it's hopeless. Between the tarot cards, the Lolita alter ego, the questionable choices for guests, the cartoonish drawings at the end and the frilly dresses, you've lost me.

The sad reality is you've destroyed Simi's 14 year TV credibility in the matter of a dozen shows.

All that's left is for the day to come when I turn on the television and see Simi in a golden tank-top balancing on a unicycle with a beach ball on her nose while simultaneously jiggling away to 'Simi ki Jawani' while the guest Anna Hazare licks his lips in the background waiting for Kiki to appear.

What's luck got to do with it ?

2011-09-15T23:06:00.000+05:30

"Luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it." - Samuel Goldwyn

"You're just lucky."
I hear that a lot and I'm sure many of you have heard it too. I wonder if it irritates you as much as it irritates me. I always found that statement annoying because I felt I'd been dealt a bad hand in many important issues in my life by God/myself.

As a doctor working in an operation theatre, luck plays a major role in saving some unexpected disasters during an operation, but there is no substitute for skill and talent, if you ask me. If you know what to do and how to do it, lady luck will be there more often than not sitting on your shoulder, just to give the final touches. Of course, it isn't always just about work. It applies to games too. Literally, in my case.

Last week, I won a 1000 tickets at the gaming centre in City Centre, Mangalore.

It was one of those 'Press thrice accurately to win the Jackpot' games. I did later confirm from the staff there that I was the first one to win since it started.

They told me I was really lucky. That I should go buy a lottery ticket.

Funny. That's the same thing I heard at another mall in February where I was the first one to win the "Click at 1000" game, winning a Motorola mobile.
It's the same thing that staff have said for the past 3 years when I won half a dozen stuffed toys playing the 'Click at 1000' game in other gaming zones.

The fact is I can control when I press the button. I can aim for the number. I always felt it was a honed skill. I can prepare for a difficult case because I can anticipate what can go wrong.
But I can't aim for picking a winning lottery ticket whose number I don't know. I have tremendously bad luck when I play in the stock markets ( I'm sorry guys. The whole market crash which everyone blamed on the Greeks and the U.S. was actually me putting money into the market and the 'miraculous' recoveries matched my exiting the market to the minute ! I really should warn you guys the next time I invest. )

I don't really know where luck ends and skills begin or vice versa. I don't buy into the "it's a fine line" theory. For me, there's a big gap between these two facets of life. It isn't about wearing gold rings or whether astrologically speaking, my Pluto is in UrAnus.

I don't have all the answers as to why we're so lucky in some aspects of life and so unlucky in others. Just a random roll of the dice, I guess. Oh, and by random, I DO mean a Shakuni styled roll of the dice, of course, where you know how the dice will land.

What's been your best experience with Lady Luck till date ?

Friday never ends...

2011-09-04T14:21:00.000+05:30

Me : ( to myself ) PUSH PUSH !!

Me : ( to patient ) push push.

Patient : heh...

Me : ( to myself ) PUSH PUSH !!

Me : ( to patient ) Madam, your child is almost out. Come on, with a little effort, he'll be out in the next contraction.

Gynaecologist : ( to patient ) If you don't make an effort, we'll have to do a Caesarean operation to get the child out.

Patient : heh...

Me : ( to myself ) PUSH PUSH !!

Me : ( to patient ) push push.

Patient : heh...

Me : ( to God ) WILL YOU PLEASE MAKE HER PUSH HARDER ALREADY !! WE'VE BEEN WAITING AN HOUR IN HERE !!!

God : The God you're trying to reach is presently busy. Your prayer is important to us. Please hold that thought or think it again later.

Me : ( to God ) I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING !! YOU BETTER MAKE HER PUSH HARDER !!

God : ....or ?

Me : ( to God ) or I'm gonna keep singing Rebecca Black's Friday.

God : .........

Me : (to God ) I'm serious.

God : .......

Me : ( to God ) It's Friday, Friiiiday...gotta get down on Friiiiday

God : ALRIGHT !! ALRIGHT !! I'M HERE !

Me : ( to God ) That really is an annoying song.

God : Tell me about it. I don't know what I was thinking. So what's the problem this time ?

Me : ( to God ) Well, there's this lady here. She's having her 6th kid and she just ain't progressing in labour. We've been waiting for hours now and...hang on a second...

Me : ( to patient ) push push.

Patient : heh...

God : "heh" ?!! That's it ? That's the effort she's making ?

Me : ( to God ) I know, right ? I mean, dude !!! I make a bigger effort while trying to touch my nose with my tongue, man !

God : So what do you want me to do ?

Me : ( to God ) Think of that poor child. With all this time being wasted, the risk increases. So I was thinking ,you know, we could do a good thing and get that baby out quick and safe.

God : Oh well. It's a good enough reason. Abraca dabra.

Me : ( to God ) ABRACA DABRA ??

God : My world, my rules.

Gynaecologist : ( to patient ) Try one more time.

Patient : heh...

Gynaecologist : ( humming to herself ) It's Friday, Friiiiday...gotta get down on Friiiiday...

Patient : AAAAAAAAAHHH ! I hate that sooooOOOOoOONG !! AAAAAAHH !!

Gynaecologist : THAT'S IT !! PUSH PUSH !

Me : PUSH PUSH !

Patient : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa...

5 Minutes later

Me : It's a healthy boy. Great. Now we can all go sleep in peace.

God : Hang on a second. You were called for a Caesearean. If the child delivers naturally, you don't get paid.

Me : I'll manage. You know me... it ain't about the money. Heart of gold, service to mankind and all that...

God : It's Friday, Friiiiday...gotta get down on Friiiiday....

Me : ALRIGHT ! ALRIGHT !! You don't have to torture a guy !!

God : So what's the real reason ?

Me : The thing is if it's a Caesarean, I'd have to change into an operation gown and the only ones available are all small.. I tried wearing them and well, do you remember the movie Karan Arjun ?

God : Yeahh... ?

Me : Remember the loose fitting kurtas Salman and ShahRukh wore ??

God : Yeahh...I thought loose was good..

Me : Yeah, well, mine fits like Mamta Kulkarni's choli.

God :.....

Me : .....

God : So you weren't really praying for the child ? You just didn't want to wear a tight dress...

Me : More like a blouse actually. Besides,it's the ending that counts, you know.

God : You're weird.

Me : Yeah. Well, what're you gonna do about it ? The kid's out, my day's done. Looks like I won.

God : Yeahhh... well, it's the ending that counts, right ? Don't forget that...

What did he mean by that, I wondered, as I left the hospital.

Epilogue :

It's been 2 days since that delivery and I still can't get that damn song "IT'S FRIIIIDAY, FRIIIDAY...GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY !!" out of my head.

DAMN YOU GOD !!! GOD ?? GOD !!! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME !!!

God : The God you're trying to reach is presently busy. Please stay online while we put you on hold.. ( Background music : It's Friday, Friiiiday...gotta get down on Friiiiday... )

Me : ( to myself ) Aaaaaaaaahhhh !!!

Author’s note :

The above anecdote is inspired by true delusions.

Amberville in a new setting ?

2011-08-27T18:26:00.000+05:30

"There is a certain inexplicable joy in seeing a creation of yours inspire someone else." - Me.

It's been awhile since I had a story from the 'land where all is not as it seems'... Amberville.

Amberville's a fictional land I'd made up for writing crime thrillers of a 'filmi noir' style.

Amberville still remains the most read story on the short fiction publishing site d.ustb.in ( In case you're wondering if I'm blowing my own trumpet, let me reassure you - I ain't just blowing my trumpet - I'm lifting my collar and doing the cha-cha-cha in the middle of the roadside too as I type this !! )

Follow ups to Amberville included Payback, Guardian Angel and The Confession, besides an extremely long prequel Chasing August, written in 2006, that is still among my personal favourites honestly and was actually inspired by a 'alternative form of prayer' I witnessed on a local channel back then.

Anyway, I was happy to recieve a mail from Dr Rohan, a fellow blogger, asking me if he could use my town for his own interpretation on what life in Amberville would be. I loved the idea of getting to see it from another blogger's point of view and really enjoyed his take on it too when I finally read it.

Without further adieu, I present to you "Murders at the Hospital".

Do tell me and him what you think.

The Rabid dog

2011-08-22T09:33:00.003+05:30

A puppy sits in a corner. A pudgy kid comes along and throws a stone at it. The puppy retreats. The kid laughs proudly at his achievement and saunters off. The next day, the same event is repeated. Everyday, stones are thrown at the pup. Finally, one day, the pup, bruised and bloodied, turns around and growls menacingly, teeth bared in anger as the child approaches. The kid dutifully calls everyone around and points the sight of the bloodied dog to them. He clarifies to all who will listen that he always knew the pup was rabid and that was why he did the things they did. They all congratulate him for his foresight and join him, stoning the pup till it dies. Proud of themselves for saving the town from being attacked by a rabid dog, they all go home.

For many years, I have witnessed this metaphor played out in real life in front of my own eyes. People with bad intentions in their heart constantly grate those who are just looking to get by and when they retaliate out of frustration, they are accused of always having been evil within.

I don't have any answers to this ; no solutions. It is just an observation that has always angered me. People bringing others down to their level of indecency and then destroying them with experience. I wish I knew a cure. I wish I could help.

My 'Urban Shots' Silver Winner

2011-08-12T22:16:00.004+05:30

For those who don't know, Urban Shots is a collection of short stories by 13 Indian authors who told simple stories in their own unique, refreshing way. I had the pleasure of meeting 2 of these authors, Prateek Gupta and Sahil Khan , during my stint in Pune.

Earlier this year, I had taken part in the Urban Shots 2011 Short story Competition.

So did I win and will I be getting published in the next edition of Urban Shots ? That's a question to be answered at a later date. For now, let's just stick to the present topic.

One of my entries did get selected as a Silver Winner for this year's Competition. A Silver Winner is one that does get noticed and discussed, but doesn't make it to the final collection.

I'm providing the link below to the Silver Winner, Heartstrings, a story which when I first posted on this blog, drew a lot of debate on whether it was real or fictional.

I think that's the best part of writing a story for me : when people can identify with it easily and sit back and wonder how much of it is based on truth and where does fiction start.

Well, read it and decide for yourself.

Most rewatchable movies list

2011-08-07T21:23:00.008+05:30

Ok guys... we've done movie lists before where we've discussed best movie endings ever and goosebump moments in movies.

So here's today's topic of the day : Which are the movies you don't mind watching again when they come on TV ?

Here's my list.

1. Terminator 2 : For me, it was iconic for it's time and remains immensely enjoyable even today. Two decades have done nothing to make it any less watchable.

2. A Few Good Men : This court room drama involving Tom Cruise, Demi Moore and an iconic cameo by Jack Nicholson had no action as such but the tension that builds up as the trial progresses is brilliant.

3. Con Air : What can I say ? A lovely romantic starting and ending ( mainly because of Trisha Yearwood's 'How Do I live' ) with the right mix of action and humour in between. Starring Nicholas Cage when he still cared about the movies he signed up for.

4. Shawshank Redemption : Slow. No action. No women. An entire movie set inside a jail. A Stephen King movie. Wow ! You wouldn't have given it a chance. And yet, even though it flopped initially, this movie went on to become a huge favourite of those who appreciate good thought-provoking movies.

5. Love Actually : So many films try the "linking many stories together" tactic. But none of them does it as well as Love Actually. Such a romantic gem. Trust the British to show us how it's done.

6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaben / HP3 : This is the first movie to give up the childrens movie pretense and instead portray the Hogwarts world as dark with moody hues. But it isn't that : it's the brilliant story and the climax towards the end that appeals to me. It was after watching this movie that I took an interest in the HP series and started reading the books.

7. Andaz Apna Apna : You have to bitch slap all those who made this film a flop when it released. You could show this film on Tv any number of times and everybody would still sit to watch this Salman-Aamir starrer which had us all laughing from the start to ending. So many memorable lines and characters.

8. You don't mess with the Zohan : I don't care what you say. I love Adam Sandler and John Turturro in this movie as Zohan and Phantom. The comedy is in your face and perhaps not for kids, but it's hilarious nevertheless.

9. Independence Day : What's not to love in a movie where you have Will Smith in his debut role taking on a bunch of aliens ? Seriously though, we've seen so many alien movies before and since, but for me, this was thright mix of action and emotion.

10. X men - First Class : I gave this movie no hope whatsoever. No star cast. Trying to show the origins of two old characters with no other famous mutants. But it pleasantly surprised me with a good storyline, multiplthemes of discrimination and acceptence, a lovely background score and some fine acting.

Runner ups : Aladdin, Die Hard, Face off ( How could I not add a John Woo film in here )

I'm sure I've missed many obvious ones in here. So now as usual, it's your turn to add to this blogpost. Tell me the movies you've 're-watched' the most ?

Your additions :

Quakeboy - The Social Network

Dr Sinu Raz - Pretty Woman, Gladiator

Naveen - The Social Network, Armageddon, Rang de Basanti

Rohan - The Godfather, The Uusal Suspects, Transformers, Gone in 60 Seconds, Hum Tum, Rang de Basanti, Dil Chahta Hai

Nags - The Truman Show

Anonymous - Philadelphia, I am Sam, Pretty Woman, Nadodikattu, Godfather ( Malayalam ), Ramji Rao Speaking

Anita - Finding Nemo

Ankita - Godfather 2, Casablanca, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Terminal, Finding Neverland, P.S. I love you, the Harry Potter series, Get Smart, One Fine Day, Hidalgo, Anesthasia, Finding Nemo, Stepmom, King's Speech, A few Good men, The Pianist, Life is beautiful, Saraansh, Jaane bhi do Yaaron, Choti si Baat, Daddy, DDLJ

Prateek - Chupke Chupke, Golmaal, Anand, Chalti ka Naam Gaadi, Choti Si Baat, Notting Hill, The persuit of Happyness,Wall Street, A beautiful mind, Paycheck, Sixth Sense, Matrix

Simply me - Jhankar Beats

Farila - Ice Age series, Madagascar, Up, Kungfu Panda

Suruchi - Love Actually, Andaaz Apna Apna, Sweet November, Lake House, When Harry Met Sally

Purba - Music and Lyrics, Roman Holiday, Matrix, August Rush, Bridges of Madison County

Goodbye once more...

2011-07-19T19:39:00.001+05:30

I don't know what hurts more : the sense of loss or the sense of anger at myself for not being there... again.
It's over 2 years since my pet dog Leo died and I wished a lot of things... how I could have been there for him more, how I could have spent more time with him... how I could have shown him how much I loved him.

Today, Ruby, the star of the house lost her second child, Bruno, to a sudden debilitating illness And once more, I wasn't there. Not just at the end, but even before that.

I keep telling myself that my work doesn't give me the time to go home, that life is passing by too fast for stopping for the small things. Much like how Leo's death conincided with an injury of my own, Bruno's death too coincided with an illness in the house. The superstition that "if someone tries to harm you, the animal in the house gets affected first" perhaps again...

There isn't a lot I can say that wasn't said earlier.
It just shows me that I will never learn from my past.

Murder 2 : *** 1/2

2011-07-13T09:47:00.001+05:30

Murder was "apparantly" a pathbreaker when it released. The credit for that went to the sensous scenes and the darebare attitude of a certain upcoming actress called Mallika Sherawat. So when the trailors of Murder 2 started coming out, it became evident early on that we were in for another "insignificant murder, hot scenes" movie... basically everything Emraan Hashmi is known for. Director Mohit Suri ( Kalyug, Woh Lamhe, Awarapan, Raaz 2 ) though springs a pleasant surprise. If the first movie ran on the Mallika mantra, this time the USP is the one character noone focussed on in the trailors - the villain.

Emraan plays an ex-cop who's working now for pimps as their muscleman. There is an atheist angle also placed there ( a la Awarapan ) but the movie doesn't really delve into it. Anyway, as Christmas approaches, callgirls are disappearing in Goa and one of the pimps asks Emraan to help find his girls.

Emraan springs the idea of setting the lamb amongst the wolves to trap the guy behind what he believes is a case of human trafficking. And thus, a young college girl ( debutant Sulagna Panigrahi ) who's getting started into prostitution becomes the lamb sent to trap the wolf. Emraan manages to catch the antagonist ( Prashant Narayanan ) and even end up in jail with him but there are some key questions at the back of his ( and our ) mind : What happened to the young girl who's missing because of him ? Why is the villain so confidently admitting his crimes in prison ?

Performance wise, Emraan Hashmi does a good job as the guy who's wracked with guilt over the girl's fate and moves heaven and hell to find out the truth behind the killer.Jacqueline Fernandez is hot. Smoking hot. That's it. Her role is strictly secondary as Emraan's girlfriend seeking a commitment.

For once, the award for best male and female acting perfomances in a movie goes to the two characters who are not seen in the trailors. Sulagna Panigrahi as the young terrorised girl is a revelation. Her natural act and genuine fear... I've seen more accomplished actresses struggle to achieve the same. A very encouraging debut, indeed.

And what can you say about Prashant Narayanan ? He gives Bollywood something it sorely lacked - a genuine serial killer. He is cold, calculating, remorseless - he is sick, vile and violent beyond compare. The best moments of the film are spent waiting for his scenes - partly out of anticipation and partly out of fear. The true nature of his character comes through as the film progresses and it is not a pleasant sight.

Mohit Suri is a highly underrated director and this film is just a perfect example of that. This is a much darker film than Bollywood is used to. As usual, it is 'inspired' from a Korean Movie 'The Chaser', but having watched both, I actually liked the Indian version. Even though the villain is in custody early on, you still don't feel safe and that says a lot. This is a movie which definitely deserves it's "A" rating, but for once, it's more for the sense of unease you feel around the villain, rather than the scenes themselves.

God is in the fine print

2011-07-06T18:29:00.004+05:30

Bad grades got you down ?
Worried about what to do after school ?
Afraid you'll never be a millionaire by 30 or have orgies with women of every nationality ?

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Yes, that's right. Why be HUman when you can be a GODman ?

Spread over 100s of acres of land donated to our trust fund, the AmmababaGuruSriSriOptimusPrimeThorChipmunks University has been successfully creating Godmen who are internationally famous in India only for the last 8 decades. Our courses deal in depth with all that it takes to become God and attain ~~materialistic~~ moksha without climbing mountains and praying for decades. Every year, 100s of new Babas and ~~babes~~ ~~babis~~ Godwomen pass out from our unique and prestigious university and go forth to become pioneers in their respective villages.

Our curriculum spans 3 years of your life and benefits you for decades to come. The topics you will learn on your road to enlightenment include :

Year 1 :
01.Growing a thick beard (males) / thin moustache ( females )
02. Sanskrit - defunct but religiously uber cool.
03. Closing eyes and sitting in yoga poses without falling asleep.
04. Loving Saffron - the awesomest colour in the whole wide world.
05. Giving up materialistic desires. ( How to part devotees from their money. )

Year 2 :
01. FwF ( Fasting without Fasting : 100 ways to sneak food and eat without getting caught by devotees )
02. Spiritual instruments towards attaining nirvana ( Tantric sex toys provided by college. )
03. Haute couture ( The art of men wearing a dress and not looking like a transvestite. )
04. Rural posting ( Identifying barren lands to grow ganja. )
05. Religious intolerance ( Special guest lectures by Vadapav G, author of "Who converted my Cheese" and Swamy Fatlady Singh, author of "The f***ing Jew who sold me a Ferrari at 80 % interest plus tax : a true story." )

Year 3 :
01. Advanced yoga ( The easy way to bite your toenails )
02. Religious whachamacallits ( Talking stuff that everyone knows, but making it sound spiritual. Guest lectures by 1984 alumni Skydiver Baba, author of 'My poop and your poop and everyone's poop all goes back to Mother Earth eventually.' )
03. Holy Magic ( making ash, amulets, rings. Guest lectures by Chris Angel on 'Card tricks for the Las Vegas Godman' )
04. Global love ( Countries without extradition treaties to India & Tax haven nations. - Updated to 2011.)

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A moment in time

2011-06-26T10:03:00.001+05:30

Some moments in time deserve to be preserved forever. They need to be immortalised in print, the beauty of black and white and aging sepia lending it austerity. Because part of what makes these pictures iconic is the magic that they achieved in their original form.

But what if you had the choice to bring life to a moment in time by actually adding colour to a moment gone by ? What if, much as in the Harry Potter series, pictures could be more than just a single frame in time ?

While we are still awhile away from that technology, the fact is that, colour does change everything and it does add it’s own life to moments gone by. It can be personal moments – the photo of our parents wedding, a cherished picture of our grandparents or just the ancestral ‘group photo’ of the past generations. It could be moments in history that bring out sincere emotions – Kennedy’s last ride, Gandhi’s salt satyagraha, Martin Luther King as he gave his historic speech, the screaming Vietnamese child running towards the camera following a napalm attack. These are moments in time that we have been lucky to capture forever as a picture.

But sadly, most of these iconic black and white moments are also moments of tragedy as the advent of the camera coincided with a major power struggle across the globe and many suffering for the needs of others. So, if you asked me to convert black and white to colour, to bring life to a moment in time, which frame would I choose ?

I wouldn’t go for a personal moment because that would be meant for me alone. Instead, I would choose a picture that, in the middle of so much loss in the early part of the last century, represented joy and happiness to a world waiting for hope that day.

I choose the picture of the young American sailor kissing a random nurse in Times Square on V-J day ( Victory over Japan, also considered the end of World War 2 ) on August 1945. It was a moment of unconditional happiness for everyone across the world and yet, there was so many layers of hidden depth to it.

The faces of the two are not revealed, adding to the mystery of the moment. It allowed everyone to enjoy the moment without restricting it to two faces. Indeed, as decades passed by, many a nurse and sailor came forward claiming to be the duo before eventually the two were identified more than 30 years later. The photographer himself famously described the sailor as being so happy and just running around kissing everyone from grandmothers to well, obviously, young nurses.

The sheer happiness of two professions, both brought into the middle of war without having a say in it, now free from the fear and pain of the war is visible not just in these two but also in those walking past them smiling as well. This wasn’t a football team winning a World Cup. This wasn’t a family member getting married. This was the declaration of the end of the worst World War mankind had ever known.

So what would colour bring to this moment ? Life. And just enough of it without converting it into a random moment. The sailor remains in black, the nurse’s white uniform retains its contrast to the sailor’s uniform. But all around, life appears with colour. It stops becoming a moment from the past and becomes something we can relate to even today. A moment of pure emotion that we can relive. A moment of serenity amidst unbridled joy as we once more live in a world, lost in the fear and pain of wars gone by and many more to come.

This post is part of HP LaserJet and Indibloggers "Take Flight with Colour" contest.

Love at first sound

2011-05-25T16:55:00.000+05:30

She's 21 years old.
She has no starry background.
She's a Canadian singing a Bollywood number.
And, by golly, she could just as well be reading the phone directory and it would still feel like angels were serenading me.
I pretty much stopped listening to English music and bands this last decade because I found that nobody seemed bothered about vocals or tunes. All that mattered was looks ( Britney... ) and fashion statements. ( Lady 'Gag'a !!! I mean, seriously ??)

But listening to Natalie Di Luccio sing was something else.
Like many others, the first time I heard her was as a forwarded song on Facebook. It was of a girl sitting in what I assume was her home singing to her laptop webcam. It was the soulful and haunting Tu Jaane Na from Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani.
And it was amazing.
It was always an beautiful song but I think anyone who listens to her version will agree... she just made you fall in love with that song all over again. Minimal instruments, really heartfelt emotions and that pleasant passion for singing that is so missing in today's artists. It made me believe again.
Believe that I don't have to put up links of old bands whenever I want people to hear a good voice.
Believe that there are voices that can still be called magical.
Believe that, like Bollywood has taught me all these years, there really are people who can make your heart skip a beat when they sing.
Here's wishing you success in all you do, gal.
Because your success is music to our ears.

The Red Button...

2011-05-21T00:53:00.000+05:30

All it takes is the press of a red button by a trigger happy finger belonging to a despot and everything - your dreams, your aspirations and goals - all of it would come to an abrupt end. And we may never even get to be with the ones we love in that brief moment before the flames engulf us. Nihilistic perhaps, but sadly, that's the truth of the world we live in today.
Now what if you actually had a chance to stop that finger from pressing the button ? What if you could save your dreams and goals and actually live long enough to achieve them ? Would you, if given the chance, be able to resist pressing that red button ?

Everyday, there are red buttons all around you waiting to be triggered and hasten your demise. It could be a rash driver on the road, it could be horrible work hours, it could be the simple second helping of ice cream. Some of these can be avoided and some resolved once they're identified, but what about the ones you can't identify till it's too late ? What about the ones that are 1/ millionth the size of your eyelash ? That's roughly the size of a human cell and the DNA within. Like us, they too evolve to the environment that they are subjected to. And within these tiny building blocks lie the biggest red button waiting dormant. It's a word we all dread. It's a word we all pretend can never happen to us. It's something that's been dogging us even before we could recognise it.

Cancer.

There is no easy way to deal with it. By the time any visible signs or symptoms arise, enough cells within you are affected and they've spread across the body. There are cures for some of them - Radiotherapy, Chemotherapy or Surgical excision. All of it comes with a catch though - your life expectancy is reduced dramatically. Not to decades, but years, maybe even months. The quantity of life is one thing, but what about the quality of life ? That is gone forever.
No age is immune from one or the other form of cancer. Not the newborn baby, not the child playing in the swing, not the ipod wielding teenager, the work oriented adult or the housewife cooking her meals. All of us are at risk. We cannot stop the chain of events that come to pass once we've been diagnosed, but we can learn to avoid it. We can learn to say no to irritants that look to press this red button that will destroy us and devastate all who depend on us. Because cancer is one case where 'ignorance is definitely not bliss'.

Cancer Patients Aid Association (CPAA) is a NGO dedicated to total management of cancer since 1969. They provide untiring service to patients not just in India, but also neighbouring countries. It may have started out as a group of people who could only supply fruit baskets and newspapers to patients decades ago, but it is today a multi-faceted organisation, with doctors and well wishers all joining hands for the betterment of people suffering from cancer.

Beyond Blue Skies (BBS) , unlike CPAA, is not an NGO. They don't want money. They need our time. Specifically, 6 hours of your time every month...to teach,train and help the needy get employment and better job opportunities. Their primary focus remains educational programs for children who don't have this basic necessity. It is a unique venture that deserves due credit and applause because it allows us to share something which we all have, irrespective of our paycheque - our knowledge.

CPAA is holding a camp on the 28th of May,2011 in Mumbai with the support of BBS. The purpose of this camp is simple and selfless - qualified doctors will be there to perform a free, detailed checkup for all who come. They can help identify symptoms at the earliest and advise you accordingly on further management. There will also be an interactive session on the hazards of tobacco and the benefits of quitting.

The camp will be held at Pheonix Mills, Lower Parel, Mumbai between 11 to 4 pm on the 28th of May 2011.
I sincerely hope you make the time and effort to go for it. The few hours you spend here may save your life.

P.S. In addition, BBS also requests for volunteers for the event and also other initiatives. Anyone and everyone can contribute irrespective of their geographical location. You can write in to bbs@azureonline.net or join their group on Facebook to know more.
Who knows... a few hours of your time may save more than your life... it may actually help save others as well.

You are beautiful to me...

2011-05-18T17:22:00.002+05:30

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."

This saying stuck with me since the first time I heard it as a teenager. In many ways, it defined not just my romantic feelings, but also all my future friendships. It is a simple saying, but perhaps it is that simplicity that causes many to ignore it as they seek complicated answers in this journey of life.

The desire to be beautiful and to be loved is not a sin. Heaven knows we've tried everything possible to capture this fluttering butterfly called 'beauty'. From the poodle skirts of the 50s to the sensual hotpants of the 60s, the bell bottoms that redefined the 70s, those acid wash jeans that were so 80s or just 90s style grunge,
we've left nothing to chance. No dress was too outrageous, no colour too bold to adorn. And yet, women feel insecure. They still worry if they're a shade too dark, if they've gained a pound too many or if they look good sitting amongst their peers.

And that's sad. Because any guy who's gone past his 'raging hormones' phase and has ( eventually ) been bitten by the sensibility bug will tell you this one simple fact about his love for you : That you've become more beautiful to him because he loves you. Looks will definitely attract a guy towards you but a personality makes
you beautiful to him forever. That's the one thing no fashion designer can weave into his creations. That's the one constant right from the 50s to this day ( And yes, I'm reliably informed by anonymous sources within the archeological department that it extends all the way back to the first caveman who brought a girl home to his
cave for his mother's approval too ! )

So the next time you're worried about the blackheads, the love handles and the burgundy hair, think also of the things your 'old fashioned' parents were trying to instill in you when you were young - to be kind to others. Remember those boring words of advice ? "To care for people"... "to smile, to laugh"... "to learn to say a
simple 'Thank you'". Well, you know what ? A generation ago, they were the young teens worried about blackheads and grey hairs and bored of the very same'grown-ups speeches'. And somewhere along the line, they learned that bell bottoms and polka dotted shirts do not endear forever; a kind personality does. Of course, it's a lesson some have learned and some have chosen to ignore. That's the way it always is, isn't it ?

And today, it's our turn to make the same decision. We can choose to be beautiful physically for the better parts of our lives and remain in a few minds ( not necessarily for all the right reasons ) or we can be sweet and kind from within and stay in people's memories forever.
Remember, the brightest shade you can wear on your body that truly radiates your beauty when you walk out that door is a genuine smile.

P.S. Don't forget to check out Yahoo!Real Beauty for more...

Reviews : Thor, Priest 3D, Ragini MMS, Source Code

2011-05-17T17:05:00.000+05:30

Ok, rather than simply write 4 posts, might as well finish it all at once here. So as not to bore you, I'll keep it short and sweet.

01. Thor ****
Vain, proud God with really, really strong hammer gets kicked out of his world for being a pain in his dad's ass and thrown to Earth as mere mortal, thanks to his scrawny evil brother's schemes. He learns manners, kisses Earth babe and heads home to defeat his bro and become rightful leader of land. Misses Earth babe.

( Forgive me, Marvel Comic fans... I know it's more complex than that, but keepin' it short, guys )

Plus : Excellent acting from leads with perfect casting for both the hunky beefcake Thor and the quiet and manipulative brother Loki ( God of mischief ), great graphics, Comic fans will be excited to see the links between earlier Marvel movies ( Hulk, Iron Man ) all leading up to next year's Avengers movie.
Minus : Story keeps jumping from Earth to Asgard. Needs patience.

02. Priest 3D *
In some world, priests are Bible fearing Ninjas who fight vampires that look like a cross between hyenas and Australopithecus. Vampire kidnaps a Priest's niece. He goes after her.
Plus : Film was short.
Minus : Slow screenplay, uninteresting characters, most of the film is in palettes of grey or sandy brown which really adds to the dull nature of the movie.

03. Ragini MMS ***
Girl doesn't tell her mom she's off with her boyfriend to a farm house for a roll in the sack. He doesn't tell her he's gonna make a sex video and sell it. Somebody forgot to tell them both there's a ghost in the house.
Plus : Taken in real time a la Paranormal activity. Very good acting from the lead pair. Scariest Hindi movie I've seen in ages.
Minus : Some choppy editing.

04. Source Code ***
Guy wakes up inside a train in someone else's body and train explodes. Based on a new technology, he's being sent in again and again till he finds out who activated the bomb so that he can stop the guy's 'next attack (?) '. He has to also figure out where he is in real life.
Plus : Good graphics, good acting, nice concept.
Minus : Focus is more on the guy's emotional quotient than identifying the terrorist, which is misleading. Ending is a doozie which makes Inception seem like child's play.

"The Jungle Parable" published

2011-05-15T10:35:00.000+05:30

"The Jungle Parable" becomes the fourth story of mine published in d.ustb.in after the thrillers "Amberville", it's sequel "Payback" and the romantic "A Love so Blind".
Happy to see it there, because it's been a big favourite amongst readers of this blog for a long time.

Most memorable role of contemporary Bollywood heroes ?

2011-04-13T14:43:00.009+05:30

Simple enough topic for everyone this time. Which were your most favourite roles of the following actors ? Not necessarily their best acted roles, just roles you loved them in. I've put down my list below. I'd initially added the heroines too, but the list became too extensive so for now, it's just restricted to actors. As you guys add on, we'll compile the votes together. Remember, only one answer per actor.

01. Amitabh Bachchan - Hum

02. Anil Kapoor - Ram Lakhan

03. Salman Khan - Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

04. Shah Rukh Khan - Chak De India
05. Aamir Khan - Ghajini
06. Sanjay Dutt - Munnabhai MBBS
07. Akshay Kumar - Khakee
08. Hrithik Roshan - Lakshya
09. Abhishek Bachchan - Dostana
10. Saif Ali Khan - Dil Chahta Hai
11. Shahid Kapoor - Jab We Met
12. John Abraham - Dhoom
13. Emraan Hashmi - Awaarapan
14. Akshaye Khanna - Hungama
15. Sunny Deol - Damini
16. Abhay Deol - Dev D
17. Ajay devgan - Gangaajal

P.S.
Here are the votes as of 15 May 2011.

01. Amitabh Bachchan - Hum (3), Baghban (2), Sholay, Deewar, Silsila, Black, Agneepath, Suryavansham
02. Anil Kapoor - Ram Lakhan , Slumdog Millionaire, Mr India (2), Parinda, Eshwar, Nayak
03. Salman Khan - Hum Aapke Hain Kaun (2), Dabangg (4), Hum Saath Saath Hai, Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam, Maine Pyaar Kiya
04. Shah Rukh Khan - Chak De India (3) , Kal Ho Na Ho (3), DDLJ, Kabhi Haa Kabhi Naa, My Name is Khan, Baazigar, Darr
05. Aamir Khan - Ghajini (2), Dil Chahta Hai (2), Lagaan(2), Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar, Rang de Basanti, Rangeela, 3Idiots, Andaaz Apna Apna
06. Sanjay Dutt - Munnabhai MBBS ( 8) , Naam
07. Akshay Kumar - Khakee (4), Aitraaz, Hera Pheri, Sangarsh, Bhool Bhulaiya, Main Khiladi Tu Anadi
08. Hrithik Roshan - Lakshya (3), Guzaarish(2), Kaho Na Pyaar Hai (3), Mission Kashmir, Koi Mil Gaya
09. Abhishek Bachchan - Dostana (5), Yuva (2) , Sarkar (2), Sarkaar Raaj
10. Saif Ali Khan - Dil Chahta Hai (4), Hum Tum(2), Ek Hasina Thi (2), Omkara, Main Khiladi Tu Anadi
11. Shahid Kapoor - Jab We Met (6), Kaminey (2)
12. John Abraham - Dhoom (5), Dostana (2), Jism
13. Emraan Hashmi - Awaarapan (3), OUTIM , Murder (3)
14. Akshaye Khanna - Hungama(2), Dil Chahta Hai (4), Taal, Humraaz (2)
15. Sunny Deol - Damini (4), Gadar, Ghayal
16. Abhay Deol - Dev D (3), Socha Na Tha (3)
17. Ajay devgan - Gangaajal(2), OUTIM (2), Khakee, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam(2), U me aur hum

How I won the World Cup on 2nd April 2011

2011-04-06T14:40:00.000+05:30

Finally the BCCI has relented to let me speak. Thus, the whole of India can finally realise the truth... of how I won the ICC World Cup for our nation.

News articles this last week spoke in depth of how various celebrities did their best prayers and promises to curry the Lord's favour and win us the Cup. Lata 'the Nightingale' Mangeshkar ( hmmm.. That made her sound like a WWE diva wrestler... Ewwww. I did not just imagine her in a tube top. ) apparently did not eat or drink during the semis against Pakistan for fear of jinxing the match.

Well, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. You're all wrong. All your prayers and little quirks like wearing blue or eating a particular dish or sitting in a particular chair and not getting up... Sorry guys and gals, it's all pure superstition. You see, what you don't know is the Big G hates me more than he loves you. He ain't gonna pass up a chance to make me look dumb. He just waits to see what I'm thinking and then does the opposite.

Thus, when Ireland were 111 for 5 chasing 327 against England, all I had to say was 'Hah!! I'll eat a packet of Pedigree dog biscuits if Ireland wins' and lo! And behold! Ireland won it with a World Cup fastest century by Kevin O’ Brien. ( P.S. The dog biscuits tasted fine with a little oregano, thank you very much for asking )

When New Zealand scored 200 odd and South Africa were coasting at 100 odd for 2, I promised I'd do a belly dance to Sheila ki Jawani if South Africa managed to choke on this easy run chase. ( My lawyers say the neighbours are willing to drop the obscenity case if I leave... the continent !!! )

Anyway, when the finals arrived, I tested my theories again. I proclaimed boldly that noone would dare leave out Ashwin on a traditionally turning Mumbai track. Dhoni promptly called in Swami Sreeshanth from out of the blue.

I called heads as the coin was flipped. As Dhoni opened his mouth, I said bat first. To ensure that my 100% record remained, a hitherto unheard of controversy around the toss occured. Dhoni's wish to bat first was negated and Sri Lanka won the next toss.

I gave it one last shot.. Sreeshanth would be the better bowler in the opening spell, I proclaimed. To prove a point, Zaheer had amazing figures of 4-3-2-1 while Sree.. Well, never mind.

And that's when I realised how I could win it. I started fooling the big G by saying the opposite of what I hoped for. For me, Yuvraj was incapable of taking wickets, Zaheer was incapable of maintaining a good line and the fielding was no good at all. It worked fine with dives across the field, tight bowling and a modest looking 210 at the end of the 45th over. That's when I got cocky. 'Hah!’ I said aloud ‘Even if they hit 8 an over, they'll reach only 250 so no problem !!' They duly hit 63 at 12 an over.

It continued when India batted, of course. I was engrossed watching a movie elsewhere and did not realise the game had begun. Thus, after surviving one ball, Sehwag perished to ball 2. Sachin was going on well with me continuously supporting him with inspirational cries like 'You're useless!!', 'You're gonna be clean bowled this ball' and 'Nehra bats better than you'. Suddenly, my wife interrupted with a 'Sachin should get a hundred naa today ?' and I absent mindedly replied 'Ya, it's his home grou..' Before I could even finish my sentence, he'd nicked it and Malinga's hair was bouncing like a pompom in heat.

From that moment on, I got rid of all distractions and stuck to my task with the determination of a tiger guarding his cubs. Every ball was preceded by a 'He'll get out now', 'No chance of a boundary', 'This over 3 batsmen will get out.' God duly noted my observations and did the opposite. While a billion Indians prayed and did silly superstitions, they did not realise what I knew... That in a cricket match, irrespective of what 6 billion human beings are doing, God focusses ONLY on 'what I say' and does the opposite. And for once, just once, I manipulated it all, fooling him right down to the 'Dhoni ain't gonna end this with a copter-shot six...No chance !!!' The rest, as they say, is history.

And that, my dear friends, is the true story of how India won the Cup. If you look carefully, you can see Dhoni waving to me in the post match ceremony... It's probably edited out of highlights, but it'll be back in the DVD, I hear.

That was my story of how I won the Cup for India.

What did you do or witness others do to help India win ?

Godyears reviewed by Nilu

2011-03-30T00:02:00.000+05:30

I just wanted to redirect you to Nilu's blog. She'd taken the trouble to read some of my articles and review it.
Here is the link.

It felt nice to wake up and see this early in the morning. Just wanted to share it with the rest of you guys and thank you too, Nilu, for the effort.

And yes, two years on, my favourite post too still remains "The Jungle Parable"

An amazing story....

2011-03-23T12:23:00.000+05:30

Author's note : This awe-inspiring story is not mine. It was an email forwarded to me and I just felt the need to share it with you all so you could see another example of the love and gratitude animals have that humans don't have these days.

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,

after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments... Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant..

Author's note : Yeeeeeah. I lied about the love and gratitude part. Just wanted to point out that BLIND FAITH KILLS !!!!

The right to live... and die.

2011-03-15T07:38:00.000+05:30

“Nurse Aruna Shanbaug deserves to live”.

That was the decision taken by the Indian Supreme court last week. Nurses at the hospital in Mumbai where she has earlier worked and has been looked after for the past 37 years rejoiced and cursed Pinki for trying to ‘kill their friend’. Pinki Virani, incidentally, was Aruna’s friend and a journalist who had been following the case since 1998 and was appealing for euthanasia to be performed.

The court is wrong. And it has been erring in this case right from 1973.

For those who are unaware of the case, Aruna was a nurse in KEM hospital, Mumbai in 1973. On the night of 27 November 1973, she was attacked by a ward boy in the hospital in the most brutal way. He used a dog chain to choke her and tried to rape her. When he realised she was having her periods, he didn’t stop but instead sodomised her. Due to the asphyxiation, Aruna sustained permanent brain damage and left in a vegetative state for life. The ward boy was caught, but interestingly, was charged with only 2 incidental crimes ( robbery and attempted murder ) under instructions from the Dean of the hospital for decidedly dodgy reasons. He was found guilty for both and was handed 2 seven year sentences. He was released after completing his sentences.

Aruna’s sentence carries on to this day. Her life ended that night in the hospital. In the last 37 years, she has been a vegetable. Her basic needs are taken care of by the sisters of KEM where she still resides. She is fed, bathed and talked to. She doesn’t talk back. She doesn’t say whether the dal is salty, whether she would like to watch a movie or how she likes her hair done.

In short, she is alive but not living a life.

The judgement the court made is not one to celebrate with cake, as the nursing staff in KEM did. “Everyone deserves the right to live” is the common argument given. But the sentence doesn’t end there, does it ?

It should end “Everyone deserves the right to live WITH DIGNITY.”

And that is a basic right that was denied to Aruna. Films like Guzaarish, while trying to portray a noble cause, often falter because we get caught in the beauty of the movie and forgive the discrepancies in the content. The truth is, there is no glamour in being a paraplegic or vegetable. There are no roadtrips to Goa, no radio talk shows or beautiful nurses silently in love with you. It is a life stripped of dignity and filled with suffering and sickness, inspite of the best care. It took more than 3 decades for the Supreme Court to relent to atleast the ‘possibility of passive euthanasia.’ It is a different matter that it will never occur since the final decision on performing passive euthanasia will lie in the hands of the very nurses and staff who celebrated her ‘rebirth’ by distributing sweets.

Pinki was no villain for trying to ‘kill her friend’. She was begging for her friend’s suffering to end. Sadly, she chose the very court of law which had betrayed Aruna decades ago and let her attacker go on lesser charges even after the truth was revealed later. Because, for all the years of Independence we have chalked up, the fact remains that a decision like approving euthanasia needs a bold court and we don’t have one. Rather than treat each case individually, it is far easier to fall back on the time tested stereotypes of ‘evil kid trying to bump off rich parents by removing life support’ or 'God doesn't approve of it'. Our courts thrive on taking 20-30 years to reach a decision on landmark events, looking to pass the responsibility on to the next guy. So it was no surprise to me that a topic as controversial as euthanasia would end like it did in Aruna’s case.

In recent times, there have been a rise in the incidence and nature of horrific crimes against women – the rape of the woman thrown off a train in Kerala, the rape and murder of a 77 year old, point blank murders if proposals were turned down, incidents of molesting by policemen in police stations and hospital staff in hospitals, the demeaning stripping and parading of women in rural areas and honour killings. You can blame a lot of things – new generation, more sex and violence on television, ‘modern dressing’ blah blah... but the fact is that we still live in a society where a criminal can get away with rape. Bail or no bail, the law can be bought, the vital medical documents altered and witnesses and even the victims ( Shiney Ahuja case ? ) paid off. It’s a land where the woman suffers the trauma forever while the man walks the streets seven years later... or even earlier, ironically, for good behaviour.

And that’s where I feel a bold decision must be passed by the court of law. There are no vigilantes coming to help potential victims. More importantly, the one true filmy stereotype remains that the police come only after the crime has been committed. But that isn't enough. Prevention is the need of the hour. We can't keep waking up to such disgusting news every day of the week. Give those who commit such crimes something to be scared of. Simply raising awareness of such incidents when they occur isn’t enough. When the crime is so blatantly premeditated, how can the punishment be so puny ? Naming awareness programmes with mythologically strong feminine names like “Shakti” will not scare away the evil... take concrete steps to show women that they can feel safe in their own motherland.

Presently, the situation is just tragic – women can’t feel safe in their own city ( New Delhi, anyone ? ), court cases on crimes against women drag on forever and get pushed from one court to the next. Most tragically, as in Aruna’s case, when it’s all over and the dust settles... they’ve lost the right to , both, live and die with dignity.

Chinese whispers

2011-03-08T16:46:00.001+05:30

Asha to Bhagirathy : Don’t tell anyone ok but I’m getting married !!! His name is Arun. He works in a computer software company in Australia. I’m so excited, ya ! And the funny thing... he’s a Tam Brahm like me... Who’d have thought I’d need to go all the way to Australia to get find one of my own kind !!! I’m gonna come home next month and surprise my parents by getting them to meet his parents.

Bhagirathy to Dhanya : Asha’s getting married. To a computer techie settled in Australia.

Dhanya to Nisha : Did you hear about Asha. She’s gone and fallen in love with someone in Australia.

Nisha to Meety : Asha’s lost it yaar. She’s having an affair with an Australian. You know, those guys who sit in their buniyans and drink beer all day long while watching cricket matches. One of those types.

Meety to Shalini : ... and I have it from a reliable source that he’s a chronic beer drinker.

Shalini to Sneha : Ya, that’s what I heard. Full time in the bar. These Aussies are all like this, you know. My sister says that they were all descended from British exiled prisoners.

Sneha to Indu : ...they say he has a criminal record in England. That’s why he ran away to Australia.

Indu to Suruchi : ...Half British, half Australian. Can’t remember if it was the father or mother who was British...

Suruchi to Chitra : That guy doesn’t even know who his dad is, it seems. Imagine what kind of a character the mother is !!

Chitra to Varsha : I swear it’s true. Why would I lie? Asha’s going to be a mother.

Varsha to Nagalakshmi: She’s pregnant with a Australian criminal, it seems. I told her never to leave India but she wouldn’t listen.

Nagalakshmi to Priyanka : She’s never coming back, it seems. She’s going to settle there with that drunkard and raise their child there.

Priyanka to Ankita : I hear her mom told her not to come back after she found out she was pregnant with that Australian’s kid. Poor thing.

Ankita to Bhagirathy : Poor girl is now pregnant and homeless.

Bhagirathy to Ankita : Really ? Bitch didn’t tell me that when she called. She just said she was getting married to an Indian guy. Must have fooled some other bakra into marrying her once the Australian dude ditched her... I swear, you can’t trust anyone these days.

Author’s note : Remember the kid’s game “Chinese whispers” where you keep whispering a sentence from a chit into the next person’s ears and see how it distorts by the time it reaches the last person ? Just wondered how it would be in real life.

And yes, “any” similarity in names to fellow bloggers whom I regularly read is purely coincidental J

"A Love so blind" published

2011-03-04T07:25:00.000+05:30

I guess it's a sign of how hectic life's been that even I didn't know my article was published in the d.ustb.in a month ago.
Anyway, here's the link for "A Love so blind"

Hope you guys like it. Tell me what you think.

My own private dream land...

2011-02-18T20:10:00.000+05:30

First off... Sorry for the huge delay in replying to all the wonderful comments for my wedding post. By the time I could get access to a decent net, there were already 20 odd comments and after that, I was just...well, lost on where to start. Anyway, be it ever so late, I did finally get rid of the lazy-bug gene in me and reply to all the comments.

It, however, brings me to today's post. As I mentioned in the last post, me and my wife are diametric opposites and that often leads to hilarious discussions and arguments. Case in point : We were watching a movie on Tv one night. Everytime an ad break arrived, she'd turn to me and demand I start a conversation, using the centuries old "Don't you love me? Then why don't you have anything to talk to me ?" sentence to emotionally blackmail me. Attempts to discuss the movie, world politics, music, family and the weather ( Gimme a break ! I was desperate ok, guys !! ) all just added to the frown on her face. Soon, it reached a stage where I was spending the whole movie thinking of suitable topics to discuss before the next ad break arrived !!

But it made me realise something about myself. I'm so used to being with my own thoughts and enjoying 'my own private time' whereas this concept was totally alien to my wife who is so used to something or the other going on around her. She finally got fed up of the silent pauses between the ad breaks and knighted me with the dubious title of "AWARD MOVIE." I, of course, refrained from calling her what was in my mind ( ‘Cartoon Network’ ) for fear of ending up on the couch.

It reminded me of an incident that occurred nearly 10 years ago. It was in a biochemistry lab and after drawing the required diagrams, we had to go and get it signed by the madam sitting in front. As my friend, H, went with his book to get the sign, he noticed that the madam was barely glancing at the pages as she ticked them but kept looking up and smiling shyly. She was even blushing, he told me later. Unable to understand, H followed her gaze... and struck his head. His roommate was staring unblinking back at the madam; his face resting on his arms and sporting a silly smile in his face. She kept looking down at the book, then looking up again to see him still staring back at her with that obvious schoolboy crush expression.

H realised what was going on and on his way back to his table, deliberately stamped on his roommate's feet, thus breaking the spell. His roommate, as he had guessed, had no idea what was going on. You see, he was lost in his own dream world and 'unfortunately' happened to be facing madam at the time. He had no clue that the happy thoughts in his bored mind were being deciphered as a teacher-student love story by the teacher !!

The final piece of this drama unfolded the next day, of course. By some weird coincidence, H and his roommate again had to go meet the same madam the next day at her staff room. On entering, the teacher's face lit up and she called them in. She then introduced them to her teenage son who 'just' happened to be there. She then went on a lengthy monologue, totally unrelated to the subject and dealing more on a very peculiar topic - how we were all 'like her children' and how difficult it must be for us being away from our parents and likely to 'have complicated feelings because of this new loneliness.' After an excruciatingly long 15 minutes, both students excused themselves and escaped from the chambers.

It took all of H's self-restraint to stop himself from killing his roommate that day for making him a part of such an embarrassing conversation. He would eventually get used to that familiar sight over the next 5 years of seeing his roommate simply staring into space, lost in his own world, oblivious to his surroundings and smiling like a doped dodo.

I should know. That day-dreaming 'romeo' was and still is, of course, me.

Mad ads...

2011-01-02T18:12:00.000+05:30

I always wondered about this ad...

In it, Vinay Pathak ( the auto rickshaw driver ) tells the guy that he won't take him to the ATM because now with VISA DEBIT cards, he can GO DIRECTly where ever he wants, be it for shopping or a cinema or a restaurant, as everyone accepts the card.

Smart ad ? Well, not really, as far as I'm concerned. Because they overlook a very glaring flaw. After all, one of the services which most definitely DOES NOT BENEFIT from debit cards is the very service Vinay and co. are portraying in the ad - the Auto Rickshaw service !!! You can't give them your debit card at the end of the journey, so why are they all acting so high and mighty about taking this dude to an ATM machine ?

I always wondered how a company like VISA could make such a basic error. Have you guys seen any ads with wonderful errors you'd like to point out ? Do tell and if possible, add the link too. Let's see what mADness we can get which we may have missed.

There is change coming.

2010-12-31T15:55:00.002+05:30

I wanted to borrow shamelessly from Nisha's lovely post on a decade gone by... except, as I told her, it hadn't been one for me. I mean, sure, the last decade had some good moments - new friendships were forged, bonds were strengthened, a decade went by in studies and perfecting skills I didn't know existed in me. But it was also a decade of loss, of having to face a mirror and see myself for what the world sees me... a decade of betrayal. If the 90s had been about growing up, the 2000s were more about growing old.

And yet, my own post on the Jungle Parable has come back now into my life at the end of the decade. Every decision, every choice I have made has led me to where I am today and perhaps it is time for the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle to fall into place.

The decade has ended and I'm still here - battered, bruised... and smiling. Because I believe there is hope for a better tomorrow. It's a New Year, a New Decade... let's make it count for something, everyone.

Have a great 2011.

Movie review : Devil

2010-12-11T20:59:00.002+05:30

After half a decade of getting worse and worse at directing, finally M. Night Shyamalan (MNS ) decided to just hand over his themes under the guise of a trilogy of thrillers called Night Chronicles and let new writers and directors imagine the film in their unique styles. And it shows.

The good news : This will probably be the first film 'from the MNS stable' in a long time that doesn't make it to the "Worst film of the year" category. ( Unlike say... The Village, The Lady in the Water, The Happening and finally, The Last Airbender, which will sadly make it to this year's list. )

The bad news : While the film ain't bad, it ain't anything great either.

The basic theme has 5 people stuck in an elevator that mysteriously breaks down while the voice-over and a security guard convince us and the movie characters respectively that the signs suggest one of them inside is the Devil itself. Sure enough, people start dying in the lift ( each time the light goes out ) in bizarre ways even as the security guy and an investigating detective watch via the security cameras. It's up to you to guess which one's the Devil.

Ironically, the first thing that struck me were the unique camera angles during the title sequence - so unlike MNS to try something stylish like that. Infact, the camerawork for the fist quarter leading upto the characters getting stuck in the lift is pretty nifty. After that, the options kind of get suffocated in the claustrophobic space of the elevator. But while there aren't many scary moments, there is enough mystery to keep you guessing. The acting, per se, is nothing great and you don't really care for any of the characters. Noone's getting any Oscars here.

Inevitably, there are definite touches of the old MNS visible - the ( stingy ? ) art of just hinting at what might have happened ( remember the train crash in Unbreakable ? ), the religious undercurrents ( Sixth Sense, Signs, Village ), the personal tragedy of a main character ( Signs ) and ,of course, the twist in the tale.

Having said all this, at 80 minutes, the film is short, simple and will keep you guessing and more importantly, AWAKE !! That's a big plus from his last few films ( I actually envied the people in The Happening who got to kill themselves, while I had to watch the whole movie hoping for a twist that never came. )

I give it 2.5/5. Maybe there's hope for 'the mind of Shyamalan' yet.

If you write, they will come.

2010-12-09T10:44:00.002+05:30

"If you build it, they will come."- Field of Dreams

I was reminded of that quote when I thought of this post.

In that movie, Kevin Costner has a vision of a baseball field in the middle of his corn field and hears a voice telling him the above dialogue. And annoyed/afraid of the stagnation in his life, he proceeds to do just that - build a baseball field, all by himself, right in the middle of his only livelihood .
"Build what ? And who will come ?" asks his wife. He doesn't know what to tell her. He would by the end of the movie.

Godyears turned 5 last week.. 5 years of fiction, fact, romance, humour, outrage, life.
Of being a doctor, being a patient, being a friend, a movie reviewer, a gossiper and a comedian.

2 blogs, 5 years, 322 blog posts, 3333 comments,72702 page views.
That reminds me. For the guy in the middle of the Pacific Ocean (according to my CLUSTERMAPS) who has viewed my blog... I'm kinda guessing you're lost in a deserted island. It is indeed gratifying to know that you chose to read my blog while stuck... but I really think you ought to have used the laptop battery charge to Facebook a friend to get you off the island. Anyway, if you're safe, REFRESH this page a 100 times so that the dot in the Clustermaps turns bigger. ( Geez, is there no limit to how low we bloggers stoop to get page views !?! )

I believe the concept of 'The Field of Dreams" is relevant to us bloggers. We too start writing, not knowing if anyone will read our work. We too have our doubts about what to write, whether our words matter and whether to continue. We hear our fair share of criticism for being bloggers from those who don't care for it. When I started this blog, I never expected it to go beyond a few weeks. Just figures that I'd be wrong again. But this time, I'm happy I'm wrong. Because it's given me an outlet to do what I love ( write ) and also to make so many like minded friends I never would have had the chance to meet otherwise in between the ticking clock of 'the real world'.

Anyway, looking back, I couldn't help but notice that in trying to be mature (?!) with my posts, I'd stopped a section which used to be a big hit earlier - the movie reviews. So coming up next week, we're returning to the basics with reviews of a few films. ( Manoj Night Shyamalan's Devil, for starters. )
Year 6 of Godyears... Here I come.

"People will come Ray. They'll come... for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up at your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say...For it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come. "
- James Earl Jones, Field of Dreams.

I need you to know, my child...

2010-11-25T22:24:00.000+05:30

This was the checklist I had for you, my child.

10. I’m gonna live long enough to see your kids... even if it kills me waiting.

09. I’m gonna be the last one you hug before leaving after getting married.

08. I’m gonna pretend to be angry when you finally tell me you’re in love with a boy... but we both know you’re telling me because “we” need to convince your dad.

07. I will be the one you call when your friends are behaving like bitches. I’ll convince you they ain’t bitches. They’re ‘hos. ( I’ll explain that term to you once you turn 15 17 21 )

06. I will not cry when you say you wanna go to the mall with your friends instead of me. But don’t look at me if I accidentally iron a hole in your favourite t-shirt. Hey, you’re the one who wants to give up the ‘old stuff’ for ‘new kids.’ I mean stuff... new stuff.

05. You will be the white flag of truce I use whenever your dad and I get into a fight.. There goes your social life, kiddo.

04. I will train you to rat out your elder sister whenever she tries to fool me. Beware. She’s a smart cookie. But we’re smarter, right ? Right !

03. I will not cry when I see you crying cause you’re hurt. But if I do, I hope you’ll comfort me. I may need it.

02. I will spend every minute after your dad leaves for work doing only thing : teaching you to say “MAMA.” So help me God, if you say ‘DADA’ before ‘MAMA’, there’s gonna be hell to pay. Not for you, sweetie. I’m talking to God.

01. I will crib about how your crying keeps me awake all night. But I will spend the whole night worrying if I don’t hear your voice either. You’ll understand this when we reach point number 10 above and call me in the middle of the night asking if you were as big a pain in the ass as my grandkids are.

Of all the things in this list, the one thing I never expected to be cutting off were the words at the top of our list. Your name.

They tell me you were dead before you were born. They would know. They’re doctors. We have to believe them, you and I.

But I’m your mother. And I need you to know some things too.

I loved you. The very moment I knew you were inside of me, I fell in love with you. It didn’t matter to me whether you were a boy or a girl, a kicker or a fat baby, whether you’d end up a loafer or a scholar... I would have loved you unconditionally. I had our lives planned out the moment I heard of you, as you can see.

I dreamt of what you would look like, how you’d feel beside me, how cute you’d look asleep. I looked forward to showing you off to everyone, dressing you up, feeding you flying rice balls like my mother used to, picking you up from school and sitting beside you watching cartoons. I wanted to be the first voice you woke up to and the last voice you heard before you slept.

I needed to tell you this because no matter what anyone says, the truth is, for this brief period in time, you were a part of me. And I need you to realise that, having dreamt a life with you in it, now I feel, both physically and emotionally, that I’ve lost a part of myself. And the thought of not having you in my life is destroying me more than I could tell you.

Yours forever,

Amma.

Author’s note :

You know who you are. This post is dedicated to you and the child you lost before you even knew him/her. And it hurts to feel your pain.

You have been a big part of my life during my school days and I have often admitted openly that you have played a major role in helping me become who I am today, just by being you when I was (am still) a dork. Distance and time doesn’t change the fact that you’re one of the few people I’d trust openly with my heart any day of the year. I need you to know that there is a reason for everything. No words can heal this pain right now. This post was never meant to try to heal you – it was to remind you of who you are :- a loving, caring, mischievous, wonderful person who must not allow this to overcome you.

You may have lost someone you wanted to love. But have you considered the reverse : that child was blessed because s/he spent her entire life knowing she was loved ?

The woods are calling...

2010-11-22T19:13:00.000+05:30

Darkness settles all around me once more. The hairs on my skin stand up, embracing the cold breeze.

I turn around, trying unsuccessfully to see the path I've crossed in my journey so far. As always, it is a futile effort. The roads are lost forever in the mist of lost time and innocence. The incessant rains add to the tableau, drowning out any impressions my feet may have left behind...of the paths I have taken till now in my life.

I close my eyes. And the darkness recedes.

In my mind's eye, the roads become clearer. I can see faintly the paths I've chosen, the short-cuts I have taken up until this point. Some have hastened my journey while others have conversely held me back. Road signs I have trusted in these never ending woods - they were called friends and family in another world - have helped me along at times when I was lost but they have also been inanimate at times when I needed them most... when I needed a shoulder to lean on.

I hear the rustle of the wind amongst the leaves... there are voices amongst them. They are calling to me, egging me on. They tell me I'm on the right path, then point me in a dozen different directions, urging me to follow them all. They claim to want to help me. I know not whom to trust... whom to follow.

In the distance, with my eyes shut, I see a light... a faint glow which is akin to a thousand fireflies in the darkness. It is to this light I shall move when dawn beckons. I don't know why I choose it or what it is or represents. I just know I should follow it. I have heard whispers in the past, speaking of this light.

Some call it 'destiny', some call it 'love', some call it 'success', some call it 'hope'.

Some call it 'God'.

I have not named it yet, for I have yet to see the light as clearly as others. But I am getting there. And when I do and I know it's name, then I shall be one with the woods.

And I, in turn, shall take my place as one of the voices and guide you in your journey through these dark woods called life.

I open my eyes and the light is gone but the darkness persists. I hear the woods whispering once more. They tell me it is time to rest. Tomorrow is a new day. A new step forward.

A step closer to a light I cannot see yet.

Published once more...

2010-11-21T10:57:00.000+05:30

The new story from my Amberville series is published this week on d.ustb.in.
Have fun and do tell me what you think.
Click here to read it.

Movie posters...

2010-11-11T14:40:00.004+05:30

I saw three movie posters side by side while travelling a couple of days back. They all proclaimed their respective movie to be a big hit... But it was the terms that were used I wanted to share with you.
In order, they were :
1. Robotic Hit ( no guesses !!)
2. Humane Hit
3. Supernatural Hit.

A couple of weeks back, when Piranha 3D played, the poster had the catchphrase...'Fish that bite like Dracula.'
By that yardstick, I wonder what the poster of Harry Potter 7-part 1 is going to read... 'Magic boy with flying broom chasing ball with wings for fun and fights dead weird nosed man who came back to life after being hidden in different pieces of things... Will kill him next in next movie.'

Sigh. Last decade was spent recovering from the humiliation of having to try and explain why/how on Earth we Keralites ended up making Shakeela ( Google her if you don't know her... I ain't putting her pic here !! ) our state sex bomb. ( Our state's affinity for elephants did not help, of course... )

This time, it looks like it's gonna be 'idiotic poster decade. 100 percent literacy doesn't always imply common sense, I guess.

Rippin' me a new one !!

2010-11-07T13:43:00.000+05:30

I asked iwillf***ingtearyouapart.blogspot to review me.
In case the title doesn't give you a hint, they specialise in reviewing sites and ripping apart the bloggers. What can I say ? I'm a dangerous kinda guy. I eat french fries without ketchup. A real tough guy.
Anyway, I couldn't find my whip to beat myself up so I figured I'd go outside and get whacked around for a change.

The reviews of the guys prior to me were pretty brutal ( Exhibit A, Exhibit B and Exhibit C) , so when news came that my 'blog was done', I finished all my affairs, wrote my will leaving my blog to the first person who has the guts to sing all of Justin Beiber's songs back to back and escape a mob lynching, took a huge bank loan and bought myself a private jet ( the keys are still in the ignition if you want the jet. The ignition is at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, incidentally. )

Having said that, I was kinda relieved in the end. As I told them, I kinda felt like the guy in the Saw movie who's smiling in the end after escaping with just a 'sawed off leg."
The review was as expected, but I found myself agreeing with most of the points he made. Anyway, me rambling on and on is one of them so I'll stop here...
I'm leaving the link to my review here so that others can read it too ( Embarrassed ? Who, me ? )
Tell me what you think.

A few good men

2010-10-30T08:07:00.005+05:30

( Blogadda Spicy Saturday Pick winner )

Thanks to the scams and scandals that fill our daily news, you won't read this story in any newpaper.

It happened a week ago in Coimbatore.
A medical conference was taking place. Amongst many others that day, a senior doctor was giving a speech on atherosclerosis. After the speeches were done, the doctors all took a break for tea. As is always the case, medical opinions slowly gave way to friendly banter. In the midst of all this, as various doctors spoke of their families and how they were studying in various continents of the world, one of them asked this doctor about his family.
The doctor gave a wry smile and said 'My son is more into games. He plays cricket.'
Residents who were there later confirmed the thought that crossed all their minds simultaneously : That the kid was some brash guy who was living off his dad's name and earnings, playing in local leagues.
One of the residents asked : 'Does he play for Ranji league ?'
Again a sheepish grin. 'Well, he used to a while back, but not so much these days.'
Seeing the man trying to cover the embarrassment of his obviously spoilt brat, some of the doctors felt sad for the distinguished doctor. It was then that a resident picked up on the clues in front of him and asked the mild mannered doctor who had travelled all the way from Hyderabad to teach his junior colleagues. 'Sir. What is your son's name ?'
The man looked at him and said in that familiar unassuming soft voice that he had passed on to his son "Venkata Sai."

Better known to you and me as VVS Laxman.

It is less than 4 weeks since V.V.S. Laxman, with a bad back and incapable of running, did the impossible and won the game at Mohali against the Aussies. At a time when the Rs 70,000 crore Commonwealth Games had begun, it was his face that dominated the front page of every newspaper the next day and pawned a very enjoyable set of "Laxman-rekha" SMS and Twitter jokes.

But this is no isolated incident. There is no list of the top 10 Test innings which does not feature his 281 against Waugh's men in Eden Gardens all those years ago which many still call 'the best test match ever'.
Mind you, this is not a post to discuss his cricketing skills and start comparisons with the likes of Tendulkar, Bradman, Hadlee or myself ( Cough Cough Wheeze Cough.) This is a post on culture and the kind of behaviour worth emulating.

Nowadays, whenever I read the word 'Indian culture', I cringe inwardly because invariably it is being mouthed off by a bunch of fanatics or religious fossils who use the term as an excuse to either hide their own sins or hurt and blackmail us into submission. And the attitude seeps down across generations obviously, as was visible earlier this month when a 20 year old 'son of the soil' announced his arrival into his Grandpa's Tiger gang by forcing the Mumbai University to remove a novel (which ironically is 19 years old itself ) from the Mumbai University syllabus midterm simply because 'he didn't like it.'

On the other hand, you have the soft spoken gentleman, who rather than resting on his son's laurels, still comes to give talks on health issues to junior residents and prefers not to go around showing off, even though his son is the toast of the nation's cricketing fans this month. It reflects too, in his son's behaviour, because even the Aussies who he has tormented for over a decade now, admit they have never met a nicer, more soft spoken gentleman than V.V.S.Laxman. It is an apt example of not letting success go to their heads.

Both the above families are a part of who we are as Indians : The wild tiger and the serene poet. Both achieve success and adulation through different means. But is success everything ?

Whenever people come complaining to me about being ill-treated by people in a more senior position than themselves, I tell them this :
"People can demand your fear. But they cannot demand your respect. That can only be earned."
There maybe a 1000 articles, celebrating VVS Laxman. But this post is not one of them. This was written with just one aim : to pay respect to a father who taught his son well. Sir, we are proud of the way you've raised your son. We have enough stars in cricket to look up to for every shot in the book, but very few good men whose character we would wish our kids to emulate.
The Australians may fear him but everyone respects him for who he is... and that's more than we can say for some of the next generation cubs of India.

I'm in the dustbin !!

2010-10-24T14:05:00.000+05:30

That's about it really. The title says it all.
I'm in the dustbin... (Ok. If you insist, I'll rearrange the dots.)
I'm in the d.ustb.in.
You don't believe me ?
Fine...Go take a look in the d.ustb.in.

P.S. Tell me what you think.

The letter

2010-10-17T22:54:00.000+05:30

“Till we meet again, Let my heart rest content in this knowledge

I will love you, always and forever.”

The first time I read those words, they felt so corny and filmy. I used to find it so peculiar, the way you always ended your letters with those lines. I think I even teased you about it once. I’m glad you didn’t stop writing those words. Because I realised the beauty in those simple words gradually.

It seems like we’ve always been writing letters to each other, hasn’t it ? Even when were growing up together, you always used to send me little written messages in class and I always used to reply to them. I was amazed to see that you had saved them all from so many years ago. Did you always know we were destined to end up together?

Marrying you is the best thing I have ever done. Being in the army teaches you to love your nation, but nothing compares to the whole hearted, unconditional love that one feels for an individual. In you, I find a reason to be alive, to continue when all seems lost, to believe in angels when faced with the threat of devils.

I love you. You know that by now. When I look back through all that life has thrown at me, the best moments are the ones I shared with you. It is in the happiness of coming back to you. It is in the joy of seeing you smile. It is in the kisses unseen and secrets unspoken that we alone share. It is in wanting to be a better person for your sake.

I always wonder about the future : what our kids would look like, where we will go for our next holiday together, how you will look as you age and whether you will still love me when I grow fat and have white hairs.

I’m not a fool. I know there’s no point in thinking of all this. It’s been a year since you’ve gone. Every day I suffer through the memory all over again. The call from your parents. The irony of it all – being away to defend the country’s borders only to lose the most precious person in my life to some random moment of madness of people unknown , looking to support their corrupt political leader by causing riots. None of it mattered, of course. You are a faceless victim to them all. That man is still free and running the city while we are separated for life.

There are a lot of young folk where I serve presently. Whenever they talk about home, I tell them not to neglect the ones they love. I tell them not to be afraid to tell the ones they love how they feel and not worry how it may make them dependent and vulnerable. Because that feeling of dependence on the one you love is no crutch – it is a loving shoulder on which they can rest their head when they feel they can’t carry on. The way being with you made all my worries disappear.

I see the pity in their eyes. I wish I could make it more clear to them. I wish they would look beyond the pity and pain and see the one thing that gets drowned when my eyes start to tear up – the truth in my words.

Friends still set me up with new girls. They tell me it’s time to move on. Move on from where, I wonder ? How can you move on when your reason to be alive no longer exists ? They do set me up at functions... rich girls, talkative girls, sweet girls, beautiful girls, modern girls... all kinds of girls. They’re all that... but as you used to say whenever you caught me staring at anyone else, “they’re not you.”

I’m scared. What if I was destined to be with you and I lost my chance forever? What if I never find someone else like you? How can I trust my heart to try to feel for someone else the way I felt for you? And how can I expect her to love me inspite of my flaws... the way you did – the way you’d place your head under the pillow to drown out my snores? Or the way you hated my 5 o’clock shadow but still kissed me anyway ? Or the way you’d readily give up the Tv remote and your favourite serials so that I could watch the match? ( It was much later that I realised that you would watch the reruns the next morning so you never really missed anything – to think of all the dishes you made me wash in return!! )

The truth is I’m lost. I’m still finding myself and what I am without you. I’m steadily realising that I may never be as great a person as I felt when you were beside me. I’m sitting alone at my desk – our desk and writing this, just as you probably sat here many nights writing to me while I was away. There are so many more things to say to you, but they mean nothing unless you are right beside me.

I grew up with you. I grew in love with you.

I wish every day I could have grown old with you.

“Till we meet again, Let my heart rest content in this knowledge

I will love you, always and forever.”

Author’s note : I loved to write letters when I was younger. Even in this blog, I still get the random comment years later from people who loved the letter “To the Stranger I love”. I always wondered what would be a good reason to write a letter again . I finally figured I’d go for the exact opposite of the first post : where earlier, it was a letter from a guy to a girl he hasn’t met yet who he promises to love, I wanted this to be from a guy who has been touched by love and having lost it, fears he may never get it again.

The arranged marriage.

2010-10-06T12:14:00.000+05:30

One thing I love about Punjabis... They know how to enjoy life. They're never hoity-toity about being made the butt of jokes and appreciate a good laugh, even if it is at their own expense ... In that matter, they remind me a lot of us Mallus, I guess.
The following is a true story that happened a few months ago and was narrated to us by Raj himself.

The main characters in this incident :
a) Two Punjab da puttur docs Prem and Raj (names altered ). Identical twins too, incidentally, though that's not relevant.

b) One Punjab di kudi - Simran ( her real name - it just adds to the charm of the story, having a girl whose name is synonymous with Kajol's from DDLJ. Remember the movie ? The sweet girl dancing in the rain, the girl who begged her father for one last chance to see the world before marriage, who is horrified of what she may have done while drunk, who is scared to express her feelings till it is almost too late... )

Anyway, the paths of these three would cross primarily via a marriage proposal.. Simran's parents wanted her to meet one of the twins, Raj. Now since the guy couldn't leave Pune to go see her in Chandigarh, she decided not to wait and flew down to meet the guy.

That evening, as she landed, the twins were there to pick her up. In the vehicle, she asked if they could stop for dinner as she was famished.
"Sure", said Raj "I know a lovely place in town."
Along the way, they got around to asking each other the basic details... small talk really. Raj told he didn't drink or smoke ( unlike his brother ), that he was doing his post graduation presently and that his brother Prem had just recently got married. Simran had a younger sister, was doing well in college and loved sports.

Anyway, they ended up at one of Pune's most famous pubs/ lounges - Thousand Oaks. Prem went on to order a beer along with some snacks while Simran, after studying the menu, chose a pitcher of mocktail for herself and Raj.
As they continued chatting, Raj found himself having a great time. He was soon laughing animatedly and cracking p.j's as only he can. He must have wondered himself how he could be so free with a girl he'd just met and wondered if this was love at first sight.
Wellllll...the fact of the matter was, it wasn't actually love. It was more a mix of white rum, vodka, gin, beer and breezers.
You see, Simran had ordered the restaurant's most famous drink - the Barman's pitcher. This was a mix of all the above mentioned which had a much sweeter taste than most alcohols and gave a relatively mild high... unless you're drinking for the first time in your life.
His brother, Prem, had known all along what the drink was and had happily sat back sipping his beer while watching Raj get drunk. It was only when Raj started feeling 'woozy' after 2 glasses that Raj and Simran had a good laugh and revealed to him the reason behind his light-headedness.

Of course, all this led to the most hilarious grand finale - Prem refused to drive while drunk and Raj couldn't drive because he was seeing two of everything ( which is ironic, considering he's a twin and usually, we're the ones seeing two of him. ) That left Simran, newly arrived in Pune, taking the wheel of the Tavera and driving the guys home as they sat in the backseat singing, with their heads out the vehicle at midnight, what I and my ex-co Pg call the Punjabi national anthem - Jee Karda Bhai Jee Karda.

Sadly, Simran and Raj were not meant to be, in this case. The next morning, when the boys had sobered up, she revealed to them that she already had a guy back home and had just come down at her parents insistence, so as not to appear rude... oh, and also to enjoy Pune for a few days. The three of them had a gala time that weekend, going for movies, shopping and hanging out and parted on great terms.

Times have certainly changed since the days when an arranged meeting between a boy and a girl would include the girl all decked up and serving tea while fielding questions about her college degree and how well she could stitch and cook, while being scrutinized by the guy's side and goaded on by her mother to sing for them. As for our protagonists, well...
Simran is getting married next year to her guy. Her parents were very supportive, once she admitted she was in love with a guy.
Prem and Raj are still searching for the girl who will sing "Singh is King" to Raj. He hasn't drank alcohol since that day.

Raj and Simran still keep in touch over Facebook.

Author's note : I personally wish they had got married. I couldn't have counted the years fast enough till their kids were grown up so that I could drive all the way to Punjab and sit in the yellow poppy fields where Kajol ran into Shah Rukh's arms , while telling those kids the tale of how Mommy got Daddy drunk on their first date and had to drive him home.

30 minute pizzas and 60 year verdicts !!

2010-09-30T22:05:00.001+05:30

1528-2010 A.D... That's how long the Babri thingy has been going on. That's 482 years to reach a decision !! Even if you only wanna count the post Independence period, that's still 60 years for, what is in the end, a land settlement dispute.

It's at times like this that I wish the 'aggrieved' parties had gone to a Pizza Hut or a Dominos for justice. Those guys deliver anything in 30 minutes, no questions asked. Heck, if they can't do it in 30, you'd get the mosque/temple built for free !!

Of course, I guess we should count our blessings. The bigger tragedy would have been if the damn judicial system was in charge of delivering your pizzas !! Can you picture it - 60 fluting years for a slice... And then also, they'll tell you to share it with everyone around !!

My real countdown has already begun...

2010-09-28T22:00:00.005+05:30

1. How I Met Your Mother Season 6 - Will those poor kids who've been listening to their dad ever find out how he met their mother ? I certainly hope not !!! I'd miss Barney !

2. Supernatural Season 6 - After hiding from both God and the Devil for a year, didn't the younger brother finally succumb and fall down... into hell ? Well, my favourite TV brothers are back so let's see what's next on their agenda.

3,4,5. Crime Scene Investigation (CSI ) Season 11, CSI Miami Season 9, CSI New York Season 7. - It is beyond me why the morons in Bollywood can't get inspired by 'any one of these episodes' and make a good murder mystery ?

6. Dexter Season 5 - I watched 4 seasons in one week. Never before in my life have I prayed for a serial killer to have a happy ending.

7. Fringe Season 3 - A worthy successor to the X-Files after so long. Hidden clues and alternate realities, here I come.

8. House MD Season 7 - The doctor everyone hates. And loves.

9. The Big Bang theory Season 4 - Geeks of the world !! Unite !!!

10. 30 Rock Season 5 - Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey. Enough said.

11. Cougar Town Season 2 - It's official. Courteney Cox is the most successful of the 'F*R*I*E*N*D*S*'

11 shows, encompassing the best of humour, science fiction, horror, drama, murder, medical mysteries, character studies and award winning actors at their finest roles.
They all start this fortnight.

Now seriously, with this lineup facing me every week, you really think I'm gonna SIT AND WATCH the Commonwealth Games, just because 'it's ( after all the corruption and the collapsing beds and roads and snake infested rooms and lacklustre attitude for the last 7 years ) NOW a matter of national pride' ?

Even otherwise, this was not an event I follow regularly. I suspect that applies to a lot of you as well. Under such circumstances, there really should have been a better effort to promote the games and pique public interest, considering we're hosting it. Instead, all I've been hearing is "Deadline missed. Deadline missed. Money stolen. Deadline missed."

People defending the few snaps showing a grand construction need to factor that in. Where are the seats going to be filled from when noone has promoted the event ?

For all the "Waka Wakas" that invaded our ears ( and eyes ) during the World Cup, how many times have you seen AR Rahman's 5.5 crore rupee song on TV ? Where are the highlights of past records and glories ? Where are the merchandise ? Where is anything that will make you want to leave your home and travel to Delhi to watch the Games live ?

Seriously, you're nuts if you think that these Games need dengue, floods, evil press or misguided terrorists to label it a 'national disaster'. It is one because it was shoddily managed. End of story.
Enjoy watching the 100m race with "Walk slowly. Road under construction" signs on the track.

I've got better things to watch.

Of old dogs and wild hogs

2010-09-17T11:12:00.001+05:30

Old Dogs

She's the oldest living member of the house. She's 94 years old... in human years. That's 13 and a half in dog years, of course. But that's still plenty of summers gone by. She was the first pup to be born in our house. I was still in school back then, which really is a long, long time ago. She holds a special place in all our hearts, of course and she knows it. If there is a dog better than her at emotional blackmail, I haven't met her yet.

Over the years, she's been an integral part of the family. With both kids off to college and then work, she's been the one source of entertainment for my parents and has endeared herself more than any of the other pets from the past.

She has her quirks, of course. In 13 years, she never drinks her milk in the morning unless the first drop is placed directly in her mouth from one of our hands. She still expresses anger with family members by finding their clothes from the folded laundry and using it as, well, a chew toy.

She still only eats Danish butter cookies, Swiss chocolates ( white, not dark ) and pistas, while I still get the local pastries, poppins and peanuts. And she has worked her way, from being left outside at night, to now opening the door and sleeping in my parents bed before they arrive.

Sadly, age is catching up. The gold in her fur is now white. Where once she chased mongooses and cats up the tree, now, she just lies down watching squirrels run by and looks at me with a "You wanna get that one, or shall we just warn them off with a mild bark ?" She gets tired easily and rests throughout the day.

But occasionally, I do get to see a glimpse of the puppy I left behind when I joined college. Last week, she lay around having her afternoon siesta, with my mother trying to coax her up with calls of "Shoo..Shoo..Pashu !! Poocha !! Elli !!" ( Basically animals like cow, cat and rat which usually antagonise her to go chasing them ). Ruby just stared at us without moving a muscle.. she was used to our old tricks. I simply said "Roadille Poah ?" ( Shall we go on the road ? ) It was an old favourite of hers while I was at home years ago - long walks all the way to the beach and back.

The transformation was amazing. Suddenly, she was up and running, barking wildly at me, her tail wagging like a samurai sword in action. From that moment on, till today, I've never been able to wear my slippers at home without her getting up and running to the gate, blackmailing me to take her for a walk even at 4am !! And of course, we have gone for many a walk since then with her still having no clue of how to avoid traffic and still barking at Dobermen twice her size, safe in the knowledge that the Doberman will probably eat me first if it gets loose from it's chains.

But nothing compares to the joy, for however brief a moment in time, of watching this old lady enjoying herself and reliving her younger carefree days.

[ Earlier Ruby posts over the years include : Dogyears@Godyears, The trial of Ruby, Take a bow and Dog Wars ]

Wild Hogs

Of course, she was not the only one taking a walk down memory lane this month. I and my friends too decided to catch up once before life takes us all in different directions.

We were in Mangalore before it started it's make over. We were there as a funny coffee shop where you could sit throughout the day was inaugurated. Today, Cafe Coffee Day has 6 branches in this small town. Heaven knows we've contributed enough to it's success after bunking college innumerable times, just for hours of random gossip sessions.

In our days, there were DVD theatres which played DVDs in A/C halls for Rs 25. People would go there, pay Rs 25 and sleep in the A/C during the summer. Now, you have multiplexes sprouting right next to the colleges – man, I’d love to see the attendance registers now.

Initially, mobiles were banned in our college when they first arrived. Back then, you had the sturdy Nokia model, with no colour screen and whose ads used to show off that the mobile also had “alarm clock” facility. Well, sure.. now you have your touch screens and your Blackberrys and ones that’ll probably do your cooking for you too, but I ask you, in an age when mobiles were banned, would you have been able to hide your Galaxys and Corbys like we had to – in our shoes, beneath our soles. The warden must have thought that we were suffering from “group elephantiasis” back then ! Of course, laptops were unheard of and computers had a royal 4GB of hard drive space back then.

That was an age where everyone went nuts over the new hero who danced better than SRK, acted better than Aamir and looked better than Salman. Hrithik Mania in 2000 swept the city, with Kaho Na Pyaar Hai playing for nearly 5 months... many of us still blame him for failing our first internals. Girls wanted his posters, stickers and T-shirts. Guys wanted his physique and even wore their pants higher for awhile, because he did so in the movie. Naturally, I picked the wrong horse and famously declared Amisha Patel would end up the bigger star in years to come. ( I swear, I could pick the wrong ticket in a one ticket lottery. )

It was an age where I and my pal slept on the shores of a beach ( where we were doing rural service, mind you ) only to discover the next day that there was a red alert in the area due to the tsunamis that ravaged the coasts that year. We discovered the joys of watching a new kid born and the pain of watching a patient die on the same day.

It was a time when there was no college cultural activity without us in it.. be it skits, cartooning, commentator for the football tournament, dumb charades or besurdas ( worst singer – I won it for the college, they banned it after that year, so I’m still undefeated ). If there were people who backed down saying the skits were too embarrassing for their stature, rest assured we’d step in – be it waxing the legs and turning a bearded guy into a mini skirt wearing blonde or getting millionaires to dress up as beggars. For those 2 weeks, we’d be living on lime juice from morning to night as we ran for outfits, created wooden props and rehearsed for various programs. Those were some of the roughest days of our lives... and they were the best times we had.

Time has caught up with us all. Family ties call... the girls we bunked class with and who demanded to be in every photo we shot back then now have adorable kids whose pictures adorn their facebook profile. There are no more late night calls to decide what prank to play the next day. Where earlier, there were first day first shows, now there isn’t time for watching Avatar even when it re-releases, due to the avalanche of patients who need us more.

We started out in '99 as 18 year olds. We're now pushing 30 and age has taken it's toll on us all. We can never relive our past glory, we know. But it felt good to be back together; reminiscing about the past, being with each other and feeling, in our mind’s eye, like the kids we were back then... free, if only for a brief moment in time.

Man proposes on the set of Scrubs.

2010-09-09T09:35:00.002+05:30

Just a random thought really :

We have a thousand movies releasing every year since the last 5 decades. 990 of them claim to be romantic movies. (All 990 star casts claim their movies to be different, incidentally.)

We have a billion love songs by now in Bolly-Tolly-Kolly-wood. That's a gazillion ways to serenade a woman, be it calling them a goddess, a rose, a star or...well, a chicken fry and masala dosa!!

We have atleast a 1000 'famous actors' [ by famous, I am obviously counting the likes of Chunkey Pandey and Zayed 'the flopmaker' Khan ]

Everyone blames the influence of movies and ergo, film stars for violence. I'm sure there's a dozen psychiatrists, psychologists and swamis out there who agree to that but my point is with so much love going around in our movies, you'd think someone would think it's a good idea to get influenced and give his bride-to-be a memorable proposal involving film stars like in this video ?

Modesty, thy name is me !!!

2010-08-31T16:15:00.001+05:30

I won the "You think you are funny ?" caption contest number 15 at LazyPineapple.

Now, as part of my New Year resolution, I had decided to add modesty to the list of virtues to attain by the end of the year ( it comes right in between "join a biker gang" and "using nuclear physics to get a girl." )

So, to honour this resolution, I will not be twirling my thumb and saying "thengaaaa" to the loser competitiors.

I will not be doing the macarena and celebrating this victory... after this last time.

"they all want me, they can´t have me

So they all come and dance beside me

( Oh come on, it's no fun if you're just reading the lines.. you have to do the dance too !! Now, continue with arms outstretched.. )

move with me jam with me

and if your good i take you home with me

A la tuhuelpa legria macarena

Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena.... "

( Sniff.. such meaningful lyrics. Always brings a tear to my eyes.. sniff )

Anyway, continuing, I will not be dropping my pants a la Chatur Ramalingam ( Silencer ) in 3 IDIOTS and pointing out "Ithe, losers !!!"

I will not talk about sentimental stuff like my friends and how I inspire them everyday in a million ways or my teachers and how I've learned so much from them ( the ancient art of sleeping with my eyes wide open in class, the art of eating the crispiest chips in class without a single "CRUNCH" sound ) or crazy stuff like the monster in my closet which refuses to leave because it's in love with my clothes hanger.

I will not use this as an excuse to talk about my charity work. That's right, I will not be making a big fuss about the ANONYMOUS $10/- donations I give every year to the "Save the Whales ( Eat sharks instead - they taste better )" foundation... or the $10,000/- donations to the "Save Lindsay Lohan" foundation. [ God bless that druggie, drunk and disorderly lesbian. The world needs more misguided ding-dongs like her so that women everywhere will have a better self-esteem of themselves. ]

I may or may not wear my yellow polka dotted super hero outfit and stand on top of the tallest building in my hometown, while my adoring fans gush and scream "Is it a bird ? Is it a plane ? Is it my next boyfriend ??"

And of course, I most certainly will not be making an acceptance speech like the earlier ones I made
1) when I appeared in the Times of India newspaper or when
2) Orkutheroes gave my blog a rave review.

Whew !! Being modest is hard work. Thank God I'm up to the task.
Now that that's done...
Men, you may envy me.
Kids, aspire to be me.
And women.. you may stalk me. I permit thee.

P.S. Thanks Vinita. Please don't refrain from giving me future awards based on this.. I promise I'll behave next time !!!

My God, my prankster.

2010-08-23T08:22:00.003+05:30

Out of the 330 million Gods in Hinduism, I'm quite sure, one of them is out to get me. I mean, it seems ridiculous that one man could get into so many embarrassing situations as I find myself on a regular interval. Somewhere up there, there's a God - not the holy trinity, I'm sure, but some lower level God named Prank-a-Deva - probably an unshaven rebel, having a packet of ganja in one of his 4 hands in addition to the mandatory conch, lotus and mace, wearing a leather jacket and having a tattoo on his shoulder saying "Good girls reach heaven. Bad girls stay at my place" - a God who's got my face on his dartboard.

You think I'm exaggerating ? Really ? Then allow me to elaborate.
It's early in the morning, I'm standing with my mom and a crowd of atleast 50, in a place where God and me least expect to meet each other - A temple. After staying up till 3am, catching up on 30 Rock episodes and sympathising ( or is it empathising ? ) with Tina Fey, I can barely keep my eyes open. The fact that I'm shirtless doesn't help. ( Just so we're clear - I have the body of Salman Khan... if he ever got pregnant. With twins. Fat twins. )

So there we are, everyone waiting in silence for the doors to open to get a glimpse of the Lord and discuss their issues and seek his giudance face to face.. and my mobile rings loudly.

Embarrassing ? Oh, you have no idea. You see, let me now show you all the pieces of this particular tableau.

Since I've been too lazy to change my ringtone since my exam ( the time I usually find religion ), the tone for general calls is my version of a religious tone - "Aye Khuda mujhko bata tu rehta kahan kya tera pata." from Paathshala.
What a nice story it would have been had that ringtone rang. All those families would have gone back home telling how it was a sign from God and how touching it was. Atleast I imagine they would have. But then, my luck never works out that way, does it ?

As I said, 6 billion human beings on Earth could have called from their landlines, cell phones or the internet and that would have been the ringtone that played in the temple that morning. Heck, forget 6 billion humans, even if Lassie had accidently stepped on the correct sequence of numbers on his mobile, it would have played this ringtone on my mobile.

Instead, it was a junior I'd chatted with last night who chose, AT THAT VERY INSTANT, to role over in his sleep, and land on the REDIAL button of his mobile. One of 4 homo sapiens in the whole world whose mobile call activates a different ringtone in my mobile. The song that all those families heard as they waited for God to answer their prayers that morning ?
"Maa da Laadla bigadh gaya Maa da laadla bigadh gaya." from Dostana.

By the time, I could get to my phone and cancel the call, I had got my morning dose of sniggers, giggles and even a weird stare from an old lady who looked at the mobile as if it were trying to warn her that I was a demon !! And all those families got a great story to tell their friends and family that morning, I presume. As for me, well, I sheepishly shut my eyes and prayed I was invisible as I completed my rounds of the temple.
Which of course resulted in me stomping on the above mentioned old lady's leg. Boy, I can tell you, for an old lady in a temple, she sure had some pretty impure words to say to me...

Sigh... somewhere up there, Prank-a-Deva is probably mighty pleased with himself, sipping amrit from a beer mug and watching apsaras dance to "Munna Badnaam Hua Darling Tere Liye" up there in heaven. Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"Mein Zandu balm hui daarling tere liye.."

Happy Onam everyone..

My Bloody JRs

2010-08-14T14:52:00.000+05:30

"You bloody JRssssss !!!"

The first time that phrase was uttered by us, I doubt if there was much love in it. It was probably out of frustration after watching our new set of 8 juniors find a fresh and unique way of getting us into trouble. As CRs ( Chief Residents ; JRs stand for Junior Residents ), we were responsible for all their blunders while simultaneously, in charge of teaching them the subject. And while the two of us were definitely not the greatest options in the latter, we did our best in the former.

Each mistake would be accompanied by a "You Bloody J-Rs !! In our time, things were not so easy. Blah blah blah.. Everytime I tell you people and everytime you forget.. blah blah..." I imagine that's how it is when dealing with juniors for the first time. But soon, we learned to dissociate work from personal time and got to be friends with the 8 of them - a decision we've never regretted.

From sharing in their individual unique qualities to saving them from the senior staff's anger by hiding their follies, it's been a wild ride. In less than one year, we made more memories with them than we had in the past two years.
More importantly, we learnt a lot about ourselves from them too.

This video is just a thank you note... for being the crazy set of juniors that you are..
Till we meet again,
Your "bloody" CR
Roshan.

P.S. A week before I left, I witnessed one of them calling her new junior "a Bloody JR" for some mistake of his. The junior complained that there was no need to be so harsh.
Her reply made me smile... "Someday you'll be proud to be a bloody J-R."

Return to Amberville - Guardian Angel

2010-08-08T09:34:00.014+05:30

Author's note : Amberville is a purely fictitious town where morals are a dime a dozen and all is not as it seems. Earlier posts included Amberville and Payback, besides the extremely long Chasing August.. I really just wanted to revisit this town once more. Have a nice read.

I try to look up as the cold steel of the barrel touches my head. I find I can't see beyond tiny horizontal slits. I imagine having two black eyes would have looked comical under different circumstances. I try to smile but the pain running through my chest is like a jagged knife.
This is the end of my story. I know it. And it's ok. I had a good run. I open my mouth and exhale, my ribs groaning under the additional burden.
"Do you have any last words ?" asks the voice. It's closer now than before, waiting for me to break.
I nod. I can feel that breath - a hint of peppermint, on me. I say the only things that come to my mind.
"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name."
My assailant withdraws away in anger.
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.."
I hear the gun's safety go off.
"Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses.."
I see a red light directly pass through my line of vision. I know that light. Sniper. There's more than one bullet with my name on it tonight.
"lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
The gunshot reverberates like a thunderclap through the still night.
And then there is darkness.

1 week ago.
It was a routine job. B-E-R-M, we call it. Breaking- entering-robbery-murder. Make it look like a robbery gone wrong. But somebody had goofed up and sent me the wrong order. There was to be a woman involved. I don't do women.
It's my quirk and I'd maintained that policy since I got into the business. My 'agents' were okay with my policy because I was the best at what I did. Yet here, they'd sent me the wrong file. Calls were made, I imagine they spoke to the larger fish that fed them and in the end, they agreed to let me keep the case and do it my way. It was simple enough. A wealthy business man and his blonde trophy wife. One man dead, one bewildered widow. I didn't ask why. I don't get paid for my chatter.

The file was elaborate and detailed to the last point, as always. An insider, I imagined. Perhaps the maid servant or the driver was in on it. It didn't matter. I had what I needed. My way in.

I knew that the husband and wife slept in separate rooms. So once inside, I went as per the plan. I locked up the wife's room from the outside. It wouldn't help to have a hysterical woman running around the house before I was gone. Once that was done, I made my way to his room and entered silently.

He lay asleep, his whole body covered under the sheets. The file said he slept that way. I wonder who knew such intimate details about him. The maid servant ? Perhaps she had slept with him while the wife was away... perhaps a jilted lover ? It didn't matter.
I wasn't there to judge him.
I was there to execute him.

I attached the silencer to the automatic and aimed at the sheets. A sigh passed through the sheets and he turned to sleep the other way. I stopped a fraction of a second before my finger pressed the trigger.
Pink nails.
In the clear moonlight passing through the window, I'd seen small pink nails as the figure had turned to sleep.
I came closer and lifted the sheet, my brain sending out alarm bells my heart was responding to.
It was a small girl. The file had never mentioned anything about a small girl. What was going on ?
In the silence of the night, I heard a sound outside the door... a sound I knew byheart from years of experience. It was the sound of a silencer being attached to a gun.
The girl's eyes opened and stared straight at me.
It was a setup. I wasn't to be the executioner.
I was the fall guy.
I felt her pull at my sleeve.
She asked " Are you my guardian angel ?"

Click here to read the ending of The Guardian Angel

Return to Amberville - Guardian Angel : The End

2010-08-08T09:31:00.004+05:30

It's been 5 days since the night of the botched robbery. I sat and recalled in my mind's eye the fond memories of the last week - Tina playing with the PSP, talkative Tina, the Tina who adores pink frocks, loves her cereal with the milk cold and hates the Teletubbies. She is nine years old. The same age my Debbie would have been, had she been alive.

I've been busy these last few days. Figuring out the missing pieces. I've got most of them now from the agency, who were remarkably apologetic and contrite for not double checking the file...
It had of course been a setup. I was supposed to be framed for the murder of the wife and kid. The husband had been having an affair. He was out of town that night... at a public dinner meeting of the company. Making his alibi amongst cocktails and expensive wine. He hadn't counted on me killing the hitman who was sent to finish me off at the mansion. That had to hurt. There was nothing on the news - not of the break-in or attempted robbery... not of the missing child.

The agency didn't have any answers for that.. they were still searching, they told me. There was still a big part of the jigsaw puzzle missing - I just couldn't figure it out yet. Of course, they weren't the only ones searching high and low. I knew it was only a matter of time before the trail led back to me. I'd spotted the grey sedan parked down the neighbourhood last night. Two beefy men sat in the front seat...waiting. For me. For Tina.

Tina. Little Tina. All of nine years. She saw me kill the hitman in front of her eyes. She's seen me with blood on my hands. And yet, she trusted me enough to come with me when I called. Me... a complete stranger. The one she called her guardian angel. It's a responsibility I ain't getting paid for. It's a responsibility I'm ready to die for. I have to protect her from the big bad wolves of the world...wolves like me, only worse.

The doorbell rings. Pizzaman. I'd ordered it with extra meatballs. Just the way Tina likes it. I open the door.

And am greeted by the business end of a baseball bat.

In the end, it is the stench that wakes me up. It isn't the decay of human or animal waste... it's a familiar unpleasant smell. The smell of a town gone bad.. one left lawless and under the mercy of those who crave blood. I'm back where I started out... Amberville. The city that made me who I am. The city finally decided to seek it's reward for my creation. Blood for blood.

"Where is she ? Where is that bitch ?? " The voice breaks as it screams at me. It's mannish,yet not man enough to be one. Like a bird trying to fly, but stumbling at the last moment. I stare up through the darkness. And everything makes sense.

The agency never makes mistakes. They're good at their job. They select their hitmen with precision. How could I have missed that ? I wasn't a random choice. That file was meant for me all along. They gave it to me, knowing fully well I would never kill the woman. Because they needed that... they needed to make sure that even in case of an unforeseen incident, I wouldn't kill the woman.

Their employer. The trophy wife towering above me.

My thoughts are interrupted by Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum on either side of me. They mistake me for a pigskin and take turns kicking me around. I hear a rib crack. I fight the pain.

After a few more freeshots, they back away. I smell roses in her perfume.. it's an exotic one. I can't place the brand. She catches me by my hair and raises my head to hers.

"Where is the girl ?"

I smile. I'd always known I'd be found. And that they'd come for me. For her. On the pretext of taking her to the park, I'd changed lanes and cars and finally dropped her off at Maria's. Heaven help the man who tried to mess with her. She'd raised 7 kids in the block to be professional hitmen. I should know. I was one of them. It broke my heart that Tina cried as I left her. A friendship of 5 days... and yet she saw the human within the monster.

My smile speaks more than my silence apparently. She realises she's isn't going to get it out of me. We 'professionals' are hard to break down. The mob may have invented it, but we perfected the "code of silence". Omerta.

She slaps me on the face. Childish. But insulting. Catches me in the eye. I blink away the small trickle of blood that's starting to cloud my view. My ribs ache from the pounding they've received.

I hear her annoying voice say "He won't talk. Kill him and dump the body. Make it quick. We need to find that girl and kill her. "
The footsteps get closer and closer. The two goons. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

I try to look up as the cold steel of the barrel touches my head. I find I can't see beyond tiny horizontal slits. I imagine having two black eyes would have looked comical under different circumstances. I try to smile but the pain running through my chest is like a jagged knife.
This is the end of my story. I know it. And it's ok. I had a good run. I open my mouth and exhale, my ribs groaning under the additional burden.
"Do you have any last words ?" asks the voice. It's closer now than before, waiting for me to break.
I nod. I can feel that breath - a hint of peppermint, on me. I say the only things that come to my mind.
"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name."
My assailant withdraws away in anger.
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.."
I hear the gun's safety go off.
"Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses.."
I see a red light directly pass through my line of vision. I know that light. Sniper. There's more than one bullet with my name on it tonight.
"...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
The gunshot reverberates like a thunderclap through the still night.
And then there is darkness.

Chaos is like a raging bull on steroids. Maria's boys are no amateurs. They know the first thing to do is to gain the tactical advantage. They've taken out the lights. I fall down and roll over, away from where trophy wife's goons last saw me and would fire. I make it just in time as the bullet shaves past my cheek. Bullets whiz by me, none coming close. My ribs crack further and I have to bite back the nausea. I hear Tweedle Dee go down. And then feel two hands clawing at my face.

I scream in pain and turn on my assailant. The beating may have left me blinded but I let my instincts take over. I rain blow after blow down on flesh and bone. I hear the former give way and the latter crack. I think of how a mother could be so heartless so as to kill her own child just to spite her husband. How a sweet girl like Tina deserved to live and have cupboards full of pink frocks and cereals and cold milk. How she'd be a good girl in school and steal many a boy's heart with that sweet smile as she grew up.
I remember my code about not harming women. I tell myself that I can't see - that it's only Tweedle Dum.

The cry for mercy sounds mannish, yet not man enough to be one. Like a bird trying to fly, but stumbling at the last moment.
I can still smell the roses long after the body goes limp.

The incident of the forgetful doctor

2010-07-25T01:34:00.000+05:30

Every gang has that one guy. Someone who is, by nature, forgetful. That one person who always leaves behind his wallet or keys and has to be reminded constantly by his friends.
This is the anecdote of one such friend... my batchmate, Dr A.

Now A was going through a particularly bad week, memory wise.
Monday, he had forgotten his keys at the college.
Wednesday, it was his wallet that stayed behind after work hours in the class.
Friday was no better as he left behind his bone set ( we all have one in 1st year to study anatomy ) in the nearby restaurant... sufficed to say, the waiter never came to serve him again there, though the cook did try to seek his guidance on black magic potion making a few months later.

Anyway, after an eventful week, it was with a sigh of relief that he went for a movie on Saturday. Having watched the film, as he got on his bike, A did a mental check of all the things he'd brought to the cinema hall.
Keys ? Wallet ? Mobile ? Comb ? All there. He smiled, started his bike and headed back to his flat.

As he entered his room, his friends were waiting for him as they were yet to go out for dinner. After the usual "How was the movie ? How was the actor ? How was the action ?" bits, the usual ragging started.
"Did you leave your mobile in the cinema hall this time or was it the bike ?"
"Did you bring back your wallet ?"
"After taking your shoes off in the theatre, did you leave them there and drive back in your socks ?"

Dr A replied haughtily "Aye ! Chup Kar. Ek bar hua to sab mera mazaak udaa rahe he.. saale. ( Shut up. Just because it happened once. everyone is making fun of me. ) I've checked everything before I came, okay. I haven't missed anything. Ab chal... dinner ke liye chalte hai. Bhook lagi hai re. ( Come on, let's go. I'm feeling really hungry. )"

After a few more moments of teasing, everyone slowly got up from their beds and headed towards the door. One of them nonchalantly asked A as he passed by him "Dr G is waiting downstairs or what ? "

Dr A stared at him dumbstruck for a few seconds. ".....Oh S**t !!"

You see, Dr A didn't forget his wallet, his keys, his watch or his shoes this time.
He did , however, forget our friend Dr G, who had accompanied him to the movie hall in the bike, sat beside him laughing and joking throughout the movie and was at that moment, still standing outside the movie hall in the rain, wondering where Dr A was !!

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

Movie Review : Inception *****

2010-07-20T02:03:00.000+05:30

What if you could enter into someone's mind while they dream, watch as they fill the dream with their subconscious memories and then access any information you desire from that ?

That is the starting point for the concept of the movie that is gonna feature predominantly , come Oscar night 2011. Because have no doubt of it, this is where the movie belongs. I'm not particularly worried about giving away "spoilers" for the movie, simply because I couldn't even if I wanted to.
I say "starting point" because if the above concept seems hard to imagine, you're in for a rough ride...that's just the first minute of the movie. The plot carries on and thickens palpably as the movie progresses.

Cobb ( Leonardo DiCaprio ) is a thief who enters peoples minds to steal vital information for money. Early on, you are aware that there has been a tragedy in his life, one he has not fully recovered from yet. But this time around, he is offered a different job... not to steal from the dream, but to add an idea into a person's subconscious for another's personal benefit. In return he is offered a chance at personal salvation.

Unable to resist, Cobb takes up the offer and assembles his team, which include a forger, a pharmacist ( to speeden up the sleep state ) and a young architect ( to build the world in the dream through which they must walk ). The plan in itself is a complicated one - to enter a dream within a dream within a dream to plant the idea subconsciously without the person suspecting someone's tampering with his mind.

However, as in all of director Christopher Nolan's earlier films ( Memento, Prestige, The Dark Knight ), nothing is as it seems. And that's where the problem begins for the team.
Will they be successful in adding the idea into the young man's mind ?
What is the relationship between each layer of dreams to the next and how do the changes in one affect the other ?
What exactly is the tragedy behind the relationship between Cobb and his wife ?

This is as far as I'll go... the rest is for you to watch and opine. There are just too many layers to this breathtaking movie. For the last 45 minutes as the dreams start playing side by side, I wouldn't recommend blinking even by mistake, for fear you'd miss a point that maybe vital to this storyline. You may breathe, but not too loudly, that you miss a dialogue, because this is not a movie that's going to spoon feed you details - you have to be alert to the implications of the scenes unfolding before your eyes, while also considering their impact on the next layer of dreams. Whew !!
Visually, the movie is breathtaking, with scenes of whole landscapes turning 360 degrees in the air and gravity becoming optional as per the architect's whims. A decade ago, if Matrix floored you , this will blow your mind all over again. Like Matrix, you will be forced to revisit this movie just to make sure you haven't missed a thing.
Acting wise too, all do their job well, be it Watanabe as the boss, Marion Cotillard as the wife that Cobb is haunted by and Gordon Lewitt as Cobb's friend and ally. But full credit where it's due, this is DiCaprio's movie and he rocks it... in recent years, his acting has risen manifold ( Catch me if you can, Blood Diamond, Body of Lies, Departed ) and this film firmly places him back on top of the roost after the disappointing Shutter Island.

If there were any lingering doubts about the genius of director Christopher Nolan, they can be dispelled forever with this. He has taken story telling to a new level with this. Everything comes together - his script, the visual effects, the cast, the background score. It all works.

And the result is a masterpiece of a movie. A true blockbuster for the mind.

The 'Sins against Stereotypes' tag

2010-07-19T18:25:00.000+05:30

Well, Dhanya had tagged me with the "Sins against stereotypes" tag awhile back and I really felt it's one worth doing. The basic premise being "Have you ever done/wanted something that your gender is not typically supposed to ?"

Before going into the tag per se, I'd like to comment on a point she and many other females apparently raised - why many men are not taking up this tag. Well, I don't find it surprising really. Don't you think guys would be more embarrassed to admit their non-manly ( girly ? ) traits like getting a manicure or waxing their chest as compared to women speaking up on things like riding a Pulsar or wearing blue ?

Anyway, here's my "Sins against Stereotype" list.

1. My younger cousin sister pointed out the irony of this one.
I'm a doctor who deals on a daily basis with blood, broken bones and shattered skulls. I yawn through most of them. But turn on a horror flick in a dark room and I'll probably never sleep that night. I ain't talking horror like 'RING' or 'EXORCIST' level... I'm talking 'Ramsay brothers cheap '80s Hindi horror films'. I swear to God I used to be so scared as a kid I could only watch it from behind a pillow. Damn those scary monsters with their weird slow walk and pizza-makeup faces.
Have things changed 2 decades later ? Ya right. I was watching the trailor of "Paranormal Activity 2" late at night while at home. After that, I was too scared to go get a glass of water in the dark. What if the creepy lady was out there ? ( It makes total sense to me that she'd come all the way from America to a house in North Kerala ! )

2. Like every guy, I too yearned for the super cool nickname which would define me. You know, something like - Tiger, R Man, Killer, Stud, Rambo, Rocky. Well, thanks to an unfortunate set of coincidences, I ended up with a slightly lesser version of Rocky and Rambo.. RADHA !!
Before you picture me in a sari carrying a pot on my head, let me clarify - we had three Roshans in our batch. The natural thing to do seemed to be to use our surnames ( I was not consulted when this came about !! ) and since my surname was too long for many, it was shortened to Radha.
Am I embarrassed by it ? Frankly, no. My dad was known as Radha all his life at his workplace. I'm proud to be taking up his name ( though I don't have even 1/10th of his work ethics ! )

3. I don't know anything about bikes. Okay, that's a lie. I know they have two wheels and that Street Hawk had a turbo boost button which is sadly missing in bikes in real life. That's it. Asking me to ride one or even point out the parts is akin to asking an elephant to ride a unicycle while juggling peanuts and dreaming of the Elephant Playboy of the month... it ain't happening.
However, I am willing to consider riding one if Pulsar, Kawasaki or Hayabusa is ready to consider adding training wheels at the back. Yeah.. then I'm a mean-ass punk - Radha, Hell's Angel.

4. I always visit the perfume section when I go to a big mall. And I know we men are supposed to stick to the "woody" and the "musky" scents, but I prefer the "fruity and fresh" ones.. my present scent is Antonio Banderas "Blue Seduction" which again is a mix of mints, melons, apples and bergamots.

5. I used to be famous in my college as 'the guy with the cards'. I'd have a greeting card for every occasion. Be it Valentines, friendship, friendship on Valentines, birthdays, New Year's, cheer up cards... had it all. ( Ok ok fine, I didn't have Rakhi cards.. go shoot me !! ) While at home this time, I had a lot of time to go through the old cards and found a bag full of unused cards, meant for occasions like these. For better or worse, it's been nearly 4 years since I've last stepped into a greeting card shop... That part of me just doesn't exist anymore.

6. Going through the old stash also reminded me of another person within me who is no more - the penpal.
For many years after school, I was penpals with a classmate of mine. It was a monthly thing - a sort of diary of events that affected us. Over the years, we would go through various changes in our lives - be it work, friends, love, family or just plain gossiping.. but we maintained the monthly ritual for more than half a decade. I guess I have to take the blame for slackening off from writing. As in the point above, I don't think I can ever be that person again. I do regret it, but then sometimes we have to give up the best parts of who we were so that we can continue our journey in life.

7. I love cooking. It's a trait I picked up from my mother, I guess. She must have a gazillion books on cookery. My first memories from childhood were of her cutting up recipes from FEMINA and sticking it all in ledgers. Me, I've experimented with chicken dishes and desserts with pretty good succes, if I say so myself.
Now before any girl gets an idea of saying "Awww !! He can cook too. What a catch!!" let me remind you of the 'catch' - I eat as much as I cook so there's no point calling a girl over for a romantic dinner at home UNLESS she brings her own tiffin box !!
P.S. If you're still interested, please bring those long candles too. I hear they're supposed to be really romantic. I wouldn't know... I just want them lit on the table between us to prevent you from reaching over and eating from my plate.

8. Hmmm... I guess I'm not a typical 'action movies' kinda guy. What can I say ? While everyone goes gung-ho over Arnold's biceps or Stallone's 60 year old six packs, I prefer the dorkiness of a Chandler Bing ( Friends ) or a John Dorian ( Scrubs ) anyday. My favourite action hero ? No doubt, it would have to be ... ZOHAN !! ( You don't mess with the Zohan ) Then again, like everyone else, I am waiting for the new EXPENDABLES movie, because it'll be nice to go back to some good old fashioned action without CGI.

9. Most kids knew all the shots of cricket by the time they were 8 years old. I, on the other hand, qualify as the Harsha Bhogle of cricket - I can rattle off stats and game moments from memory, but give me a bat and a 5 year old girl could clean bowl me. I was always more of a writer, I guess. Infact, I recently found the old notebook in which I and 2 of my closest friends from childhood had written a 100-odd page novella - a spoof on the various Star Treks.
Why do I say it with pride ? We were 14 years old when we wrote it and believe me, it's still quite funny 15 years later. Since then, I've written a 100 pager in 12th ( in class ) , a 10 page love story ( written in an anatomy dissection hall around dead bodies.. don't worry. This one had songs too !! ) and 2 140 pagers, both comedies involving batchmates.
I guess I'm never gonna be winning cricket matches with the bat or winning a boxing match ( unless I fall on the guy who punches me, thus crushing him to death ) but I'll always get a chuckle with the written word.. and that's good enough for me. You gotta pick your battles.

10. This last one's controversial but then what better forum to talk about it. Someone I know was worried because she wasn't a virgin and that's "the prime requisite" for guys apparently. After going back and forth on this, she asked me the key question - " Would I be ok knowing my wife wasn't a virgin ?"
My answer was this - "Definitely. Everyone has their own pasts. All love stories do not reach the altar, but that does not mean the girl should be condemned forever, while the guy is called a stud-muffin and walks away. I can't see myself judging her based on her past. What matters is my relationship and compatibility with her."
She told me I was in the minority in thinking this way. I'd like to think I'm not, that this is more than just my Aquarian eccentricity.
I just wish that there were less sweethearts like her worrying about their pasts and instead spending more time being the lovely people they are.

I'm done... I really can't think of anymore. Anyone who wants to take up this tag is free ( especially guys.. common, we have to prove we ain't afraid, men !! ) , just leave a comment on the post when you're done so I and others can check it out.

Hometown blues - the hunt begins

2010-07-08T12:47:00.002+05:30

I'm back in the land of loons and bore.. sorry, I meant 'looms and lores' as my hometown is famously known. And in between the weekly hartals ( since bandhs are illegal... ), there's been more of the usual... and some unusual stuff too.

Chapter 1 - Job hunting
This was pretty much along expected lines, really. One of Kerala's most prestigious hospitals put it this way.
"You will have to work 118 hours with two 18 hour straight shifts a week. The work you will have to do is worth Rs 1.5 lakh a month. We will pay you Rs 40,000. Take it or leave it. Remember, it's a great thing to work for us."
Amazing. Guy tells us he's buying us for 1/3rd the price, promises to use us for ridiculous hours and still makes it sound as if he's doing us a favour. Even more ridiculous - a good chance we'll be taking up the job.

Sigh.. I swear, if my kids do drugs - I'll admonish them. They have a 100 boyfriends - I'll pretend to be a modern dad. They become Las Vegas burlesque dancers - I'll be proud of them ( and take down their galpals' numbers ). But if they try to join the medical field - by God, there'll be a honour killing, I tell ya !!

Chapter 2 - Fortune Hunting
No trip home ( atleast not my home ) is without the usual trip to the astrologers. It seems like since I was a kid, I've been walking around Godmen and astrologers and temples ( and when taking a break from the above, el God woman )

Well, the new guy's predictions after checking my horoscope were along expected lines -

Oh !! I can see he is in the medical field ( my mom mentioned it to him 2 minutes ago. ), his time suggests his studies will be over by July ( my mom mentioned that to him 2 minutes ago ) and that he will be working in the South region ( my mom mentioned that to him 1 minute ago... I really should consider duct-taping her mouth ! )
To be fair - he did have one original, accurate prediction - "seeing his horoscope, I can see he's fond of food." Now whether that was because my stars were in Jupiter or because his plastic chairs were groaning under my sumo weight, you decide.
Anyway, to get rid of some left over bad luck ( I had sacroiliitis, sciatica, a fractured arm and swine flu in 10 months and he says there's left overs !?! ), I have to 'do the roll' at Guruvayur. Wow. If I roll along the ground at the temple, there isn't gonna be the need for a road roller after that, what with me flattening the entire pathway. Oh well.. my parents said they wanted their son to be a big doctor - they should've specified they didn't mean weight-wise.
Personally, I think I'd have chosen Paul, the octopus who's accurately predicted Germany's course through the World Cup as my astrologer of the month. I wonder if he does house calls ?

Chapter 3 - Girl Hunting
Of course, I still very much plan on releasing the 'definitive compatibility' list for couples at my soon to be released Youreallywannamarryme.com ( funds will be gratefully accepted and appropriately misused . ) But till then, I'm stuck hunting for a girl for my brother and myself, I presume, now that Kim Kardashian has dumped me for another ( A moment of mourning, guys. Girls, if you do not sneer and go "ewww", that'll be good enough. )

As usual, so many things come into the equation when the elders go bridehunting - girl should be of the same caste, same creed, same religion, same species... talk about being picky. She should be homely but modern, wheatish but fair, an extrovert when she's not an introvert and have light coloured eyes which match her jet black hair. She should know to make a Kerala parota, a Calicut halwa and a Tellicherry chicken biryani while not compromising even a moment on her job ( Unless she's the CEO of a multinational company - then she should quit her million dollar salary and become a dutiful housewife and change the diapers. )

Seriously, Women's 'Day' ? That's it ? There oughta be a WOMEN'S MONTH to cope with the mental trauma of going through this kinda nonsense.

As for me and my co-pg R, we've no worries. We're the highest class of Kerala ( Coconut climbers, remember ? How much higher can it get than the top of the coconut tree, guys ?? ) and we've decided we're gonna find our respective brides the old fashioned way.. climbing up coconut trees and knocking girls walking on the roadside with coconuts.. then drag them back to our cave..sorry, I mean home.
[ P.S. The story we've released in Pune does involve us climbing coconut trees to win the girl's affection and convince her parents of our worthiness.. so any fellow coconut climbers / sane Keralites reading this, Shhh.. just go with the story for now. ]

Epilogue :
My buddy messages telling me his 2 year old kid gets irritated when he tries to change the channel to Nat Geo or Animal Planet. The kid loves watching the exercise machine commercials in the "teleshopping network" apparently.
Well, frankly, what's not to love - you got hot women in tights sweating it out. Frankly, I'm proud of that kid. Way to go, junior. Show daddy the right channels. Can't wait for that kid to start asking daddy to share his 'bird and the bees' video collection.

That's it from here. Have a great week everyone.

3,928 days later...I am M.D.

2010-06-29T17:04:00.004+05:30

September 27, 1999.

My first day in medical college.
My first theory class ( a scary disciplinarian Biochemistry teacher ). My first anatomy dissection hall body ( headless, but less scary than the biochemistry teacher. )

My first friend ( Hari, still my closest. ) My first taste of what medical life was gonna be like.
It would be the start of 5 years of hard work, fun and camaraderie - relationships and memories that would last a lifetime.

December 10, 2005.
Last day of internship. Finally became a doctor. No idea what to do next. : Work for awhile and actually earn some money or study for entrance exams and try to get a postgraduate degree. I would end up doing the latter. There would be hardships galore in this period, but then life was never meant to be a bed of roses.

March 8, 2007.
My first day as a post graduate resident. The start of alternate day duties. The endless Caesarian sections ( signalling a new life ) and intracranial bleeds ( that were the prelude to the end of a life. ) that would initially haunt me but later become part and parcel of my daily routine.
The wide range of opportunities - from 750 gram newborns to 120 kg women, from 24 hour old neonates to 95 year old men, moments of laughter and frustration - that would all form my learning curve over 3 years.

June 29, 2010.
The call comes today from R , my co-Pg as I enter the house.
It's a call I've been waiting for with both anticipation and fear.
It is a call informing us of what all these years of hard work have been for.
The results are out. The wait is over.
We have all cleared.
We are finally Anaesthesiologists.

It's been 3,928 days in the making. And our journey has just begun.

Medical Memories : Veda Vyasa and the 'Son of a *****'

2010-06-27T08:06:00.003+05:30

Year : Somewhere between 2001-2003
Venue : Lecture hall, my old medical college
Time : Ophthalmology class

A little background so you know our colourful character. Our Ophthalmology Head was an absolute gem of a person..no matter what anyone else will say, I stick to that statement.
He was an elderly professor, with amazing knowledge and sadly for us at times, a razor sharp tongue with no license. Heaven save the Malayali patient who walks past him with his mundu lifted high ( He stopped class in mid sentence to point out how he could see the guy's balls dangling like cow bells ! ), demolished our 'butler's bastard son' English (the thick Mallu/Kannadiga accents in our speech) and of course, his pet hate, our Principal who he called burnt black devil ( in his defence, she was a thin, dark, evil woman, as I recall. )

Age, gender, our weight ( I recall my butt being likened to that of a rhino and a shorter stouter girl being called a big beach ball with tiny ant brains ), a loud sneeze .. he just needed a topic to digress to.
So why do I call our man a gem ? Well, his license-less insults provided many an embarassing moment, but he also defended us when noone else did and in exams, heaven save the external examiner who tried to give less than 70 % to his students.

Anyway, it was his lecture and the hall was huge. 100 students officially attend these classes in which his encyclopedia memory recites chapters of the eye like how Veda Vyasa did eons ago. Now, you have to understand, these classes were post clinics, post lunch for us.

The front benchers had mastered the art of keeping their eyes open and like Lord Ganesha, writing down eveything that was spoken from our Vyasa. Having been banished to the front bench on earlier occasions, I had learnt my lesson and chose the 3rd last row .. the safest to doodle and daydream. And then there were the "real" last benchers. The ones who'd come, give attendence and go lie down in the last bench and sleep or even sleep on the floor behind the benches if the benches felt uncormfortable.

This was one such class. Young J, a favourite of our Vyasa had successfully slept through the class and woken up in time for leaving after the hour ended. As he was leaving, he ran into sir.
Vyasa : Ah, J. How are you ?
J : Very good, Sir.
Vyasa : Any doubts about today's class ?
J : No sir. I understood everything, Sir. Your presentation is easier than the textbooks.
Vyasa : These foreign authors, they don't know how to present the points, I say. While writing the textbook, they will sleep with their secretary, full blood supply down there, nothing to brain, then where is the time to write well, I ask you ?

J : Very correct, sir. I read only your notes, sir.
Vyasa : Good, good. You are a good boy, I say. Not like some of the rascals in your batch. They just come and sit there and they don't listen at all, I say. Here, I am spoon feeding them and they are shitting it out like donkeys in the roadside, I tell you.
J : Yes Sir. Some are like that, Sir.
Vyasa : What to do ? All are accidents of their parents, I say.
J : Yes Sir.
Vyasa : Only because good boys like you are there, this batch is surviving. Others are having squirrel brain, I tell you. Squirrel brain.
J : Yes Sir.
Vyasa : Anyway, J... tell me, which all portions do you want me to cover in your coming classes ? Only few topics are left, I think.
J : Ummm.. uh.. Sir, I think you should take cornea, Sir.. that has not been covered. ( J hit a guess, since he couldn't recall it in recent times )

Vyasa stared at him for a few seconds. And then launched into his famed lyrical poetry.
Vyasa : Eeeeh ! Bolle Magga. Sulle Magga. You son of a prostitute ! You son of a dirty dog, I say. You go away from me, I say. You are a useless fellow, I say. Cornea you are asking me to take. Your parents made a mistake making you, I tell you. They should have used condoms, I tell you. You are fit only to shit, I say. Hah !! You rascal, you go, I say.

J, of course, needed no second invitation and ran. He caught up with G, another co-batchmate and told him what had happened. G burst out laughing.
J : What's wrong with the cornea ? It's been awhile. See ( he opened up his note book filled with the first 5 minutes of the last few lectures ) Conjunctiva, Iris, Cataract.. he hasn't taken cornea recently.
G patted him sympathetically on the shoulder.

G : TODAY's class WAS the cornea.

Goosebump moments

2010-06-17T21:40:00.005+05:30

Just a random list but one I'd like you all to add to...
Tell me specific movie moments that really gave you goosebumps while watching them.
They maybe moments of horror, shock or just pure romance... have I left out any other genre/style ?

Here are some I catalogued ( I had a lot of time to think these out since I'm only studying for the biggest university exam of my life !! What better time for the mind to not focus, eh ? )
Anyway, tell me what you think of them.. and your own opinions. I'll add yours along.

In no particular order :
1. Dirty Dancing : At the ending when the music of "I've had the time of My life" begins and Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey start dancing .. that is just such a romantic moment. This was one of my all time favourite romantic numbers. ( Ironic how it's an English song and not a Hindi one that enters this list )

2. Transformers : A movie with Megan Fox in it and I get goosebumps for a metallic red truck... no wonder I'm single !! But honestly, the orchestra in the background in this scene is mindblowing and the first time Optimus Prime rides out through the smoke and then transforms always gives me goosebumps. Due credit to Micheal Bay and Steven Spielberg for the rebirth of this cartoon series in such a wonderful format.

3. Star Trek : Speaking of rebirth of a dead series, how can I not include this one ? The moment I choose ? But of course, the ending moments when Spock's tiny ship is on a collision course with the Romulan's huge vessel and the latter "fires everything" they have. There's a moment there where you have no idea how Spock's gonna get out of this one and Nero, the Romulan leader smiles.

(SPOILER ALERT)

The scene is shot beautifully like a painting almost for a few seconds showing all the lasers and missiles and ping pong balls ( whatever ! ) flying towards Spock's ship. And then.. well, the Enterprise just redefines the term "coming in with all guns blazing" as they warp in blind and fire down all the missiles like it were a shooting range. ( I can't find the video for this online sadly.. Sorry. )

4. Jab We Met : Weird choice ? Maybe. But this was a movie I really liked. There were so many genuine moments in there, unlike so much crap that releases in the name of Bollywood. Anyway, for me, the scene is without doubt the starting of the lyrics of "Tum Se hi" when Shahid is about to enter an office and then the lights dim and he sees Kareena in his mind's eye. Mohit Chouhan's voice is just magical there.

5. Love Aaj Kal : Two Imtiaz Ali films back to back ? Oh well. Anyway, for me this was the most romantic moment of the movie and a very sweet scene.. ( the girl being such a cutie-pie helped , of course ) It's the scene where 'old' Saif travels to Kolkata to see the girl he loves and has never talked to. Her response on seeing him and more importantly, her response to his gift - too good.

6. Saw : Okay, enough lovey dovey... back to the 'blood shed' goosebumps. What can I say about that signature tune.. everytime ( 6 movies till date ) that damn music starts to play at the end of the movie, you realise you've been fooled by the psychopath Jigsaw.
(SPOILER ALERT )
But the best still remains the shock at the end of the first part when the guy's killed the 'bad guy', cut his own leg off the chains and then gone for help and the remaining survivor finds a tape in the bad guy's pocket - a sign that he's just another victim like them... and then the 'rotting corpse gets up'.
P.S. (BLASPHEMY ALERT) Okay, I'll say it out loud : In my book, Jigsaw is a more scarier villian than Hannibal anyday.

7. My Best Friend's Wedding : What can I say ? I just really wanted Julia Roberts to end up happy in that movie. And so when the "call" comes as she sits all forlorn at the wedding reception after failing to break up the marriage and the music changes.. my grin was probably longer than Julia's herself !

8. Avatar : Again, a much maligned film before it's release ( Smurfs vs Humans. Seriously, somebody said that !! ) that made everyone eat humble pie. This was to our generation what Star Wars and it's effects were to the 70s, I guess, in terms of redefining cinema. So what scene do I choose from this movie ? So many beautiful moments were there.

For me, it's the battle sequence where the Na'vi appear to be defeated and Neytiri hides behind a tree, about to disobey Jake Sully's orders and enter what would be a suicidal attack. And then, a moment of silence as the humans seem to sense something coming... and the animals of Pandora attack, defending their land.

9. Almost had me moments : These moments had me the first time around but now the effect seems to have dimmed. Nevertheless, they're worthy contenders :

The ending of "Se7en" when you start to realise what's really in the box.
"You've got mail" when Meg Ryan finally sees Tom Hanks and realises it's "been him all along" with "Somewhere over the rainbow" playing in the background. "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly." Awww.... gave me goosebumps again while watching it now before linking. Hehe..

That's all I can think of for now. So tell me, what've you got ?

EPILOGUE :

Here are your votes so far :

Dr Pranab and Sigma add the moment in Notting Hill where Julia Roberts, a superstar in the movie, tells Hugh Grant, a bookshop keeper "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me." Dr Prashant Sir reminisces on how it once did give him goosebumps but not anymore.

Sandheep speaks of the death of Optimus Prime in the animated Transformers movie. Many may not get that, unless you're a kid of the 80's like the two of us.

Indu adds two more wonderful scenes to the list.

First, in Love Aaj Kal, when Saif Ali loses it as he realises that Deepika is really getting married to someone else and just keeps talking.

Second is Forrest Gump where Tom Hanks places the letter his son wrote to Jenny.

Rohan adds the ending of The Usual Suspects and the moment in The Godfather where Micheal stands as a godfather to his sister's child.

Brocasarea ( such a cool name if you're a medico ) chose the training sequence in Rocky 3, the climax of Saw 1, the desert fight scenes of Transformers 1 and most importantly, the oath taking scene of Gadar.. yeah !!

Sigma chirps in with some lovely scenes that I just had the joy of watching after she mentioned it..
"1.The Blind Side ( really underrated film )
After Leigh Anne buys him a bed
Big Mike says "I never had one before and Leigh Anne asks "What, a room?" and he replies " No, a bed."

2. P.S.I Love You
Gerry says holding Holly " What do you want? I know what I want, cause I'm holding it in my hands."

Mad adds in some brilliant scenes here as well.

1. Taal - at the end of the "Ishq Bina" song, the look that Aishwarya gives Akshaye Khanna as he drinks from her bottle of Coke.

2. Gladiator - Russell Crowe revealing himself to the emperor.."My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius."

3. Lagaan - the scene where all 11 players come together and stand to face the British guy.

4. Minnale - When Madhavan sees Reema Sen for the first time dancing in the rain - with the background music.

Vinni adds the moment in I am Legend where Will Smith and the dog enter the old building and first encounter the zombie.

Sourcebound adds a superb collection of moments many had not considered till now :

1. The climax of 'big fish'

2. The solo race by Antony Hopkins in 'the world's fastest Indian'

3. The first five minutes of the pixar Movie 'up'

4. carrie ann moss shouting 'we are humans' when others agree to kill an innocent child to retrieve information from a potential terrorist in'unthinkable'

5. the children watching peter pan in 'finding never land'

6. the ending of 'pan's labrynth'

7. the fight of hit girl at the end of 'kick ass'

8. when i realized what will smith is up to in 'seven pounds'

9. Gandalf riding out to save faramir in 'Lord of the rings'

10. He also adds a moment from the TV show "Lost"... "Charlie scratching on a small paper about the most beautiful moments of his life before taking a journey of no return for his friends to the underwater swan station. I think it was the last episode of season 3 'not penny's boat''

It is time...

2010-05-27T18:39:00.007+05:30

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman !!"

- Homer Simpson ( and )

- Me

The last 10 days to the exams that have been 10 years in the making have begun... It is finally time.

This is what all the blood and bones, heartbreak and tears come down to.

The endless moments of active intervention in the game between life and death... fighting for the former forever, losing to the latter occasionally ; they all come down to this moment in time.

These are the flames I must walk through in the coming days to get to the hallowed land.

I could sure use some luck along the way, big guy...

It is time to write the future, indeed, I guess.

Read between the lines

2010-05-14T15:58:00.000+05:30

A week back, as requested by Reni, I'd given my handwriting up for analysis.

Why ? Well, what can I say ? I'm an open book. People just have to see me to be able to know what I'm thinking in real life. For example, just ask any of the college girls in the shopping malls who take one look at me and guess "You sex depraved pervert !!"... I mean, wow !! Talk about accuracy. ( I wonder if my biting my lower lip and drooping my eyelids gives them a clue )

Anyway, Reni's done analysing me and I have to say she's got most of it right, I feel.

"You're not an extremist in any way. In general, when making a decision you weigh the odds and logically decide without going too far to the extreme or succumbing to far reaching ideas. At an emotional level you very well know how to empathize with other people and you've got a weakness for emotional laden stories (That's one of the reasons why you write such great fiction.) Your handwriting portrays you as a kind and affectionate person who is basically an ambivert - you know and like to deal with both introverts and extroverts but not with people of the extreme sort of both ends of the spectrum. You know how to entertain and keep company people of both types. You can be quite moody with your occassional highs and lows. You're quite an expressive person. You've got the ability to socialise and interact with others. You expect people to respect you and treat you with dignity. You're quite frank and candid when expressing your opinions.

When it comes to your mental abilites, you've got an investigative as well as creative mind. Your creative mind comes to play when you've got the time and leisure to think on a particular topic. You might rush into a project but you might have to slow down a bit to actually get those ideas ticking and working. It's when you have the time to ponder you are able to remember things longer and arrange them in your memory bins in a more logical manner. However, when you are in the investigative mode you are able to think faster and maintain an alert mindset. You're a down-to-earth person and extremely practical. You need to know what your goal is before you start a project. Although you have everything planned and sorted out, everything won't go as planned. However, you survive odds because you seem to have a good self-esteem (not too high or low). You're a good story teller because in a lot many instances you can exaggerate a situation and its occurrences. Creativity is your talent. You allow a lot of people into your life because you are accepting and trusting (sometimes you make the mistake of trusting people too much - your friends may label you as a naive person because of this.) There was this one page in how you wrote your 'y's which made me feel you're real frustrated about something."

Sounds just about right to me.
I'd like to think I'm not an extremist. ( except if you put your hand in my plate of food.. that's blasphemy and your hands give up their rights to be anything more than cocktail wienies.)
I am indeed a sucker for emotional stories. I'd let a robber go anyday if he told me he had to pay for his blind three legged dog's tail transplant. Heck, I'd donate the neighbourhood cat's legs too.. what can I say ? I'm swell.
I am an ambivert - I was an introvert, love made me an extrovert, life made me a sambar of both.
Expressive, socialising, frank and candid - tick.
Expect people to respect you - well, I am God's best man, ain't I ? ( The red guy with the horns .. that's not God ?? Oh man, have I been batting for the wrong team !! )
Investigative - yes, thanks to Google
Creative - well, gee shucks.. ooookay.
Rushing into projects & everything doesn't go according to plan ... Hmm. That is BY FAR the most accurate point about me, Reni. You wouldn't believe the stuff I've done without thinking it over properly... and some of the consequences.
Practical... Hmm. Honestly, not really. I'm an Aquarian. I dream big. I'm already thinking what / who to do once I'm done with Kim Kardashian.
Trusting people - ya, that's true as well. Keep telling myself I'll grow up and get rid of this feature.. so far, I've only grown wider.

Overall, pretty good assessment.
Of course, I tricked her by not sending the picture with the stripper girl drawings so she couldn't identify that aspect of my personality. Smarrrrt Boyyy !
Thanks Reni.