Anyway, continuing, I will not be dropping my pants a la Chatur Ramalingam ( Silencer ) in 3 IDIOTS and pointing out "Ithe, losers !!!"

I will not talk about sentimental stuff like my friends and how I inspire them everyday in a million ways or my teachers and how I've learned so much from them ( the ancient art of sleeping with my eyes wide open in class, the art of eating the crispiest chips in class without a single "CRUNCH" sound ) or crazy stuff like the monster in my closet which refuses to leave because it's in love with my clothes hanger.

I will not use this as an excuse to talk about my charity work. That's right, I will not be making a big fuss about the ANONYMOUS $10/- donations I give every year to the "Save the Whales ( Eat sharks instead - they taste better )" foundation... or the $10,000/- donations to the "Save Lindsay Lohan" foundation. [ God bless that druggie, drunk and disorderly lesbian. The world needs more misguided ding-dongs like her so that women everywhere will have a better self-esteem of themselves. ]

I may or may not wear my yellow polka dotted super hero outfit and stand on top of the tallest building in my hometown, while my adoring fans gush and scream "Is it a bird ? Is it a plane ? Is it my next boyfriend ??"

And of course, I most certainly will not be making an acceptance speech like the earlier ones I made
1) when I appeared in the Times of India newspaper or when
2) Orkutheroes gave my blog a rave review.

Whew !! Being modest is hard work. Thank God I'm up to the task.
Now that that's done...
Men, you may envy me.
Kids, aspire to be me.
And women.. you may stalk me. I permit thee.

P.S. Thanks Vinita. Please don't refrain from giving me future awards based on this.. I promise I'll behave next time !!!

Tina. Little Tina. All of nine years. She saw me kill the hitman in front of her eyes. She's seen me with blood on my hands. And yet, she trusted me enough to come with me when I called. Me... a complete stranger. The one she called her guardian angel. It's a responsibility I ain't getting paid for. It's a responsibility I'm ready to die for. I have to protect her from the big bad wolves of the world...wolves like me, only worse.

The doorbell rings. Pizzaman. I'd ordered it with extra meatballs. Just the way Tina likes it. I open the door.

And am greeted by the business end of a baseball bat.


In the end, it is the stench that wakes me up. It isn't the decay of human or animal waste... it's a familiar unpleasant smell. The smell of a town gone bad.. one left lawless and under the mercy of those who crave blood. I'm back where I started out... Amberville. The city that made me who I am. The city finally decided to seek it's reward for my creation. Blood for blood.

"Where is she ? Where is that bitch ?? " The voice breaks as it screams at me. It's mannish,yet not man enough to be one. Like a bird trying to fly, but stumbling at the last moment. I stare up through the darkness. And everything makes sense.

The agency never makes mistakes. They're good at their job. They select their hitmen with precision. How could I have missed that ? I wasn't a random choice. That file was meant for me all along. They gave it to me, knowing fully well I would never kill the woman. Because they needed that... they needed to make sure that even in case of an unforeseen incident, I wouldn't kill the woman.

Their employer. The trophy wife towering above me.

My thoughts are interrupted by Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum on either side of me. They mistake me for a pigskin and take turns kicking me around. I hear a rib crack. I fight the pain.

After a few more freeshots, they back away. I smell roses in her perfume.. it's an exotic one. I can't place the brand. She catches me by my hair and raises my head to hers.

"Where is the girl ?"

I smile. I'd always known I'd be found. And that they'd come for me. For her. On the pretext of taking her to the park, I'd changed lanes and cars and finally dropped her off at Maria's. Heaven help the man who tried to mess with her. She'd raised 7 kids in the block to be professional hitmen. I should know. I was one of them. It broke my heart that Tina cried as I left her. A friendship of 5 days... and yet she saw the human within the monster.

My smile speaks more than my silence apparently. She realises she's isn't going to get it out of me. We 'professionals' are hard to break down. The mob may have invented it, but we perfected the "code of silence". Omerta.

She slaps me on the face. Childish. But insulting. Catches me in the eye. I blink away the small trickle of blood that's starting to cloud my view. My ribs ache from the pounding they've received.

I hear her annoying voice say "He won't talk. Kill him and dump the body. Make it quick. We need to find that girl and kill her. "
The footsteps get closer and closer. The two goons. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

I try to look up as the cold steel of the barrel touches my head. I find I can't see beyond tiny horizontal slits. I imagine having two black eyes would have looked comical under different circumstances. I try to smile but the pain running through my chest is like a jagged knife.
This is the end of my story. I know it. And it's ok. I had a good run. I open my mouth and exhale, my ribs groaning under the additional burden.
"Do you have any last words ?" asks the voice. It's closer now than before, waiting for me to break.
I nod. I can feel that breath - a hint of peppermint, on me. I say the only things that come to my mind.
"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name."
My assailant withdraws away in anger.
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.."
I hear the gun's safety go off.
"Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses.."
I see a red light directly pass through my line of vision. I know that light. Sniper. There's more than one bullet with my name on it tonight.
"...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
The gunshot reverberates like a thunderclap through the still night.
And then there is darkness.

Chaos is like a raging bull on steroids. Maria's boys are no amateurs. They know the first thing to do is to gain the tactical advantage. They've taken out the lights. I fall down and roll over, away from where trophy wife's goons last saw me and would fire. I make it just in time as the bullet shaves past my cheek. Bullets whiz by me, none coming close. My ribs crack further and I have to bite back the nausea. I hear Tweedle Dee go down. And then feel two hands clawing at my face.

I scream in pain and turn on my assailant. The beating may have left me blinded but I let my instincts take over. I rain blow after blow down on flesh and bone. I hear the former give way and the latter crack. I think of how a mother could be so heartless so as to kill her own child just to spite her husband. How a sweet girl like Tina deserved to live and have cupboards full of pink frocks and cereals and cold milk. How she'd be a good girl in school and steal many a boy's heart with that sweet smile as she grew up.
I remember my code about not harming women. I tell myself that I can't see - that it's only Tweedle Dum.

The cry for mercy sounds mannish, yet not man enough to be one. Like a bird trying to fly, but stumbling at the last moment.
I can still smell the roses long after the body goes limp.