The age miracle.

It's funny how much a look can define you. All my life I've been clean shaven. Prior attempts to grow a moustache had all been disastrous with the hair below my nose resembling the bar code you see in grocery products. Yet, out of boredom one fine day in 2008, I decided to give it a full pledged attempt.. I also went whole hog, aiming ambitiously for a french beard/"Arabi thaadi". After initial mixed reactions from various quarters, people got used to it. New batches of residents arrived and they all soon got accustomed to "the fat guy with the frenchie". That description defined who I was in the hospital. One of 2 doctors in a hospital with nearly 600 docs including heads of departments, staff, interns and students with a thick french beard.

This weekend, after 2 years, impulsively, I shaved it all off. There was no real rhyme or reason. I just felt it was time for it to go. So I got up, closed the recently dusted textbooks and went and got a shave. The reactions were a real eye opener.

My co-pg who has worked with me for 2 years was the first to see me as I was returning down a dark alley. I whistled to him. He stopped, stared at the figure coming through the dark, took a step back and tensed, wondering who dare whistle at him. It was only after we reached handshaking distance and I spoke that he realised it was me.

My juniors had a gala time when they saw me. It was like a clown had come to amuse them at the operation theatre (ot). They all took turns lifting up and pulling down my mask and showing me off to each new doctor who entered the ot.

To avoid the embarassment of being taken through each of the operation theatres and face-stripped in front of all the surgeons and nurses, I tried telling them finally that I was Roshan's twin, only 10 years younger. Somehow, that excuse didn't work. I can't imagine why... it sounded like a solid one when I said it. Hmmm...

This new me, as my dear Sardar pointed out, takes me out of the category of "PROGERIA" and now leaves me as just a "FAT YOUNG MAN". Hmm... I wonder if I can make "Fat young man" a cult status like what Amitabh did to the whole "Angry young man" persona.

Seniors ? Well, getting scolded from them is nothing new, but the treat of watching them shout at you while trying to supress a giggle - that's a novelty ! It's fun to watch them squirm trying to be serious and failing miserably for once.

My other co-pg felt that the pic in between, with me sporting the Spanish moustache was what I should have retained for a few days. Yes, I'm sure, that would have been a big hit. Just let me get my spanish matador outfit too and start waving red towels at my seniors... ola !! Charge, you evil bandita !! Senor Roshan will smite ye with his razor sharp wit.

Of course, the responses keep coming as day 2 progresses. The man at the xerox shop who sees me every other week didn't recognise when I went for my weekly printout of notes I'll never read and stopped me as I tried to enter his cabin as is my usual habit. There have been shrieks from the 4th floor as I've entered the hostel ( now I know how SRK and Hrithik feel when 'their fans' start screaming on seeing them at malls... really guys. It's not cool. Stop it. We superstars have a life too, you know. We're just like you and your pals.. only cooler, hunkier and ..umm, fatter ? )

Atleast one girl has taken me out of the "Om Puri" type of sexy and put me in the "young Paresh Rawal" type of sexy. I'm sure she got it confused with Salman and Aamir Khan, but she refuses to accept her mistake. Poor girl.

Anyway, this is me. This is who I am. This is who I've always been. Never really one to judge people by their appearances ( mock, yes, tease, definitely.. but never judge !! ) But apparently,as I've found out in the last 48 hours, a beard can make a huge difference. And I'm loving it. Now I can finally stop settling for Ila Arun and and propose to my current dreamgals, Minissha Lamba and Sonam Kapoor ( Better to get slapped by young and sweet goddesses than old and cranky demigoddesses... Shakespeare said that. True Story. )

"80 till I die" just turned "40 till I die." Ya, baby. Who's yer fat young fearless daddy now ?

Posted by Dr Roshan R

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Friendship

I came across this anecdote and really just had to share it with you all.

The difference in friendship between guys and gals...

Gals :

A girl stays out all night and comes back home early in the morning. When her angry dad asks her where she's been, she says she was staying over at a friend's house.

Her dad calls up 10 of her best friends at their houses .

All 10 admit that she wasn't with any of them them last night.

Guys :

A guy stays out all night and comes back home early in the morning. When his angry dad asks him where he's been he says he was staying over at a friend's house.

His dad calls up 10 of his best friends at their houses.

7 confirmed that he was staying with them last night at their place and 3 claimed he was still there !!

When everything else fails us, there's always a helping hand to turn to, a strong shoulder to lean on and sometimes even a strong pair of arms to carry us back to safety. They are our friends and they can make the worst moments of our lives bearable.

Thank God for the presence of friends in our lives. I know I certainly get by with a little help from My friends. I hope so you all are blessed as well, to have worthy compadres beside you in your lives.

Posted by Dr Roshan R

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The real Inglorious bastards...

fas⋅cism [fash-iz-uh

noun - a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism.

It's like a bad day at school for the little kid. Being pushed around, bullied, having your lunch box stolen, slapped around... all by a big bully who threatens to hand your teeth over to you in a paper bag if you snitch on him. The only difference is usually that all this occurs behind the eyes of the authoritative teachers of the class.

We're in that school today. And boy, have things changed. Today, the bully beats you up in front of the class teacher, then turns around and hands the principal the one-fingered salute. And the principal simply coughs into his handkerchief and turns around, pretending he didn't see anything. And the little scrawny kid gets beaten up day after day.

What am I talking about ? What else gets my goose feathers so ruffled ? Of course, it's our nation's bully - the Sena Boys. Every week, there's some idiocy going on and we just sit and watch and crib while the authorities who have the power to do something productive just look up and count the pretty birdies flying over their head, turning a blind eye to the mayhem.

The latest incident involves stopping the shows of MY NAME IS KHAN, the Shah Rukh Khan starrer, which (ha ha) is based on segregation in the USA after 9/11. That's ironical, considering he really didn't have to go all those miles to shoot this film when segregation lies right here in the tiger's den. All because he felt people should not have mixed sports with politics, he's been labelled a Pakistani, a traitor, a terrorist and what not by an old senile man. And guess what ? That old senile man's word is enough to make even SRK's own fans amongst the Sena turn rabid. Now that's power. But of course, in this case, with great power, comes great cunning too. The latest ploy, of claiming to back down from their stand, ensuring police protection would be minimal in the theatres, and then attacking those theatres is a step down even from their usual foul tactics. Promising peace and delivering pain. Giving hope of normalcy and then taking it away. Why we need to be so dependant on their promise of peace is another question altogether.

It's really schoolboy pettiness. Being mean to those you don't like. And yet, it's a deadly game because these kids play with knifes and forks ( trishuls are big forks, right ? ) and they don't care who dies because they know they're not accountable. A random statement made by a superstar shooting in USA could result in the death of an autodriver parked outside a theatre with 5 mouths to feed... welcome to India , folks. Land of countless possibilities. Where blood is cheaper than water. Add to this, Valentine's Day, the Sena's favourite day of hate, is around the corner and you know it's gonna be a rough weekend in India. A day of celebrating love universally is suddenly a day to be really afraid... where married couples need to carry their marriage certificates around town and show it on demand to be able to have a "pleasant evening."

All for the preservation of our culture.

It begs the question ... what's the use of having an election if you have this kind of political hooligans dictating the people's mandate, irrespective of the government chosen ? Why is it that, even after a decade, we see the same ol' drama unfolding before our eyes - detain some 50 Sena workers before Valentine's , allow the remaining 5,99,950 jobless monkeys to run amok in the streets and then let the remaining 50 go once the day is over. Does anyone ever remember a Sena man actually getting convicted and serving proper jail time for his acts ?

What's the point of mocking the 'new craze' of celebrity reality shows when the real publicity seeking clowns were here more than 2 decades ago, catering to the power lust of the ignorant ?

More importantly, when these 'political groups' go against the declaration all political groups have to make to honour our democracy and secularism, then why does no authority have the guts to deregister them.. seriously ?

Hard-line Hindu religious group, my butt. Call them terrorists and be done with it instead of trying to turn a blind eye to their every move. Or else, atleast have the decency to correct the article I read in the BBC website the other day calling India the 'only secular democracy in Asia'.

Secular ? Democracy ? Tell that to Shah Rukh "My name is Khan... and I am not a terrorist" Khan. Guy looks like he could use a laugh..

Posted by Dr Roshan R

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Recall - 55 word fiction

She’d recalled everyone’s curses as she’d left with him. How he was of another religion. How the horoscopes were against them. How they’d never make it in life and suffer forever.

She watched as her husband ran around, huffing and puffing, posing with their twins for their college graduation pictures.

She smiled.

She’d made it.

Posted by Dr Roshan R

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